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Obsessing over things from the past

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floral85

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2019
Messages
21
Location
United States
I think I got triggered today and that's why I am obsessing but I was reading this article about how this mom pretended she was a younger child to get predators in trouble. I think it's great to she was able to get them in trouble to get less bad people off the internet talking to our kids.

However, it also triggered me. When I was somewhere between 14-17, I remember getting into people's emails and reading their stuff. Like I would try to guess their secret answers to their questions to get the password. I don't know why I did this? It was a few people I did this to. They were people who lived around here.

It bothers me because I wouldn't do that now.

Also, something else that bothers me is I pretended to be a guy a couple times to get *inappropriate* pictures of these couple different girls who were my around my age, but it's still the fact I did it. Like why did I? Was I curious?

I am the type of person who would do anything for everyone. I care so much about others so this is seriously bothering me that I remember doing this. I know it's in the past and what is in the past should be. But I can't help but think I'm some type of monster?

I know I was on the computer too much around those ages and worse yet, I was unmonitored. The only thing I can learn from this is to monitor my kids more than I was monitored to prevent them from doing things they will regret later.

Am I a monster? Am I normal? Like do a lot of people do things in their past they regret? Even something similar?
 
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Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,575
Location
UK
Everyone does things when they were young that they regret. You don't realise the implications of your actions where you are young.
As you said, you realise it was wrong to do and wouldn't do it now so you are hardly a monster.
 
ponnett87

ponnett87

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Maine USA
Only thing we can do is to learn and try to move forward. My future doesn't have to be my past.
 
M

Mauriziocostanzo

New member
Joined
Feb 2, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Italy
I dont want to reassure you, because I think for ocd reassurance works only for Two minutes. I suggest you, if you allow me, to think where does this guilt comes from. In your topic i can see a huge load of guilt. I think that guilt comes from some situation in the past (for example a depressed parent, a strict parent, or some situation during childood when guilt was instilled in you...)
 
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