- Dec 17, 2014
For about 6 years now i have been suffering terribly with eating problems. When i was 14 i was chubby and decided i wanted to lose weight. So at first i went on a healthy diet, i started losing weight but once i got to a healthy weight, i just wanted to lose more, so i restricted my calorie intake dramatically. I also started purging anything i did eat. That all had to stop when i collapsed at work and also had severe heart palpitations and collapsed at a carnival. i was told i had to start eating normally which i did for a while. unfortunately for me i put on some weight over the next 2 years. i was distraught and felt fat and disgusting so i began the vicious cycle again. for the last 2 years i have been taking laxatives daily. i started just 2 a day but now for the past 9 months i've had a large amount every day. i take a weight loss tablet 3 times a day and have ordered a different type of diet pills. i purge 3-5 times a day and live on minimal amounts. i have been looking into things to help me purge. all i think about is different ways to lose weight. i have visited pro-ana and mia sites for tips and tricks which has helped. i am a healthy weight at the moment but still not happy, when i told my doctor about all of this he was more concerned about my depression and other mental health problems. i was in hospital for 3 months following a few suicide attempts. I refused to eat or drink anything for 4 weeks causing frequent collapsing. i had a complete meltdown when i learnt my laxatives had been taken away. i am completely hooked. i try to exercise as much as i can but work 2 very active full time jobs. i cant sleep anymore because im so paranoid about gaining weight and what people will think of me. who do i go to for help that wont tell me off or make fun of me like they did in hospital.
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