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Obsessed with my therapist

prairiechick

prairiechick

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I adore my therapist and I think about her all the time. I want to be with her all the time, and I want to hug her every time I see her. I wanted to ask her for a hug the last time I met with her, but I wasn't brave enough to ask.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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It's making me crazy, this missing her so much in between sessions. I know I am very lonely, but I don't know where to go to meet people and make new friends. At uni I am so much older than most of my class mates and really don't have much in common with them. I cannot bring myself to go to church because I have so many hang-ups about religious authorities and I am really not sure I believe anymore, anyway. And even if I did believe, I feel like my experience with MH makes me so different. I just find going to church and talking with people there so superficial. Everyone appears to be happy and clueless about MH and the kind of despair I feel. If I cry, no one knows how to respond. I need to be in a place where I am allowed to have MH issues; where I am allowed to be sad; where I am allowed to be myself without having to put on a front of having it all together. I don't feel safe at church. But with my therapist I feel safe.
 
W

Waverunner

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How long have you being seeing your therapist? I ask because I felt the same about my therapist. She told me it was normal and gradually with time, I felt more secure and the intense feelings of missing her/ needing her lessened. There were times when my feelings got stronger but this was usually when I was in a bad way.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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I've been seeing her since August, but I guess emotionally I am still recovering from her being away for 3 weeks after Christmas and then her being sick for another 2 weeks after that. So it was over a month that I didn't see her at all. My next appointments are on Wed and Thurs. I see her twice a week.
 
W

Waverunner

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So it's fairly early days still then. I'm not sure if this will be helpful to you or not but my feelings lasted very much longer than that. I also suspect that you may have had some fear of being abandoned by both her leave and sickness (which you weren't expecting) and so struggling a little with that now? Have you talked to her about it at all? Mine wasn't surprised by it when we eventually discussed it (I didn't have the courage to say it and was scared of rejection if I did say it). But it did help to talk about it.
 

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