New member
Nov 28, 2018
My past is complicated, but I'm not going to get into all the details right now in this post. I basically was bullied a fair amount as a kid all the way into adolescence and teen years. I was made fun of a lot and was made fun of in college and even after college. In addition, I was very misunderstood by nearly everyone due to my autism spectrum disorder. All of this cumulative suffering has lead to PTSD. I feel shut off as if my body and brain shut down because of how I was mistreated by so many people. I basically feel numb to a certain degree. I think the body and brain does this naturally to protect itself when it feels it is in danger. I also suffer from chronic insomnia - I do sleep but it is a very light sleep and I never feel refreshed come morning. I'm not sure what to do to solve this problem.

Has anyone here heard of the polyvagal theory? It basically is that after trauma, the vagal nerve does not work properly. It essentially goes back to its less sophisticated reptilian origins. The vagal nerve helps communicate messages from your body to your brain and vice versa. But trauma can damage it. The problem is I don't know exactly how I can heal from it.


Well-known member
Jan 5, 2011
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. I haven't heard of polyvagal theory before I'm afraid. I do however know that there is such a thing as brain plasticity whereby the brain can recover from trauma, physical and mental, by re routeing the brain pathways to recover.

I feel for you being so bullied. My daughter was and its often over looked by adults when its happening and treated as though its just part of growing up. Its not! Its a painful and damaging part of life and should not be tolerated. Unfortunately so many schools do ignore it. Numbness is a common reaction to pain in the end as the only way to cope.

Have you ever thought about therapy to help you get through this? It can help by giving you "tools" to better deal with the stresses you have been through and are currently going through. There are many types out there so knowing which one to use is difficult. I think something as long standing as this can't be hlped by CBT as much as others do. Look into it.

I hope others will be along soon to support you further. Take care Calypso

A goblin

Dec 26, 2018
hi :^)

after a traumatic even i lived through, I was numb and couldn't really remember anything. I would feel numb very often after the traumatic event and then sometimes i would fall in numbness again afterwards. I believe it's a response from the brain to shield yourself from what happened/is happening, a bit like when you faint sometimes. But we can break free from it and life can be, little by little, less filled by numbness and get better.