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M

msrx5sw2

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Does anyone relate to the complete NUMBNESS i feel in my chest? i have'nt had a happy feeling on the inside for months! the only emotion i feel is utter misery. my head is also racing with anxious thoughts, which overwhelm me. i can't think straight at all.
 
daffy

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Does anyone relate to the complete NUMBNESS i feel in my chest? i have'nt had a happy feeling on the inside for months! the only emotion i feel is utter misery. my head is also racing with anxious thoughts, which overwhelm me. i can't think straight at all.
Hi there and welcome:welcome:

I think a lot of people will associate with this. The numbnes and the whirring head. I call it my washing machine head. You dont say if you have had a diagnosis or are on any meds. If not i suggest you talk to your GP

:hug:
 
M

msrx5sw2

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i'm on efexor anti depressents and have been diagnosed with clinical depression. ive had the numbness for months on end though, before the anti-depressants.

i cant concentrate very well on anything and just feel as though i have a rusty razor blade cutting through my chest all the time. its agony! this is hell. absolute hell. i hate whining about it, but it helps to get the feelings out a bit i think. otherwise they just build up on the inside and overwhlem you.
 
D

Dollit

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M - How long have you been taking Effexor for? The numbness can be there for a long time before diagnosis. Clinical depression is already well established to be called that. Talk about it all you want - lots of us on here have been through what you're going through and will understand what you are talking about. Talking about how we feel to people who really understand can be the first step back to feeling well again. Good to see you here :welcome:
 
M

msrx5sw2

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ok, here goes..

I have suffered with natural unhappiness since I was about 17. general lack of motivation and seeing the down-side of things alot. I compensated alot for it by becoming quite religious; having been brought up a muslim, i held onto my faith in God to help get me through the dark times.

when i began uni 2 years ago, i had just gotten back from a gap year in thailand, and was on top of the world. I had successfully managed my lingering depression and low self esteem, and built up a little philosophy for myself, helping me to overcome my depression. being at university meant that i was distracted quite alot by the things going on around me, and thus, my mechanisms for beating depression had been ignored. in my second year of uni, I experienced a painful relationship break-up and some house mates i did'nt get on with. I also lost faith in god completely, which meant that my self-esteem was at an all time low. i remember litterally lying in bed and feeling all of this emotion in my heart just leave me. my heart then deflated like a deflated football. it was so painful, i could feel the pain in my back.
i then went to the doctor one morning, and got prescribed prozac. i remember as i was walking to the surgery, my whole body was trembling, my heart was aching and i felt as though i was dead. as i sat with the doctor i felt an over-whelming sense of weakness.
i got sent home, and spent months lying in bed. i remember i couldnt take care of myself at all, my hair had matted into a huge ball at the back of my head. i remember my heart being squeezed in my chest as though an iron fist had hold of it, i was shaking in my bed and couldnt move properly.
i have been lethargic and mind-numb ever since. during christmas of this year, i managed to get a part-time job at my local waterstones..i was stacking the shelves, when all of a sudden i had a terrible feeling, noone loved me, noone will ever love me, and all the customers were against me. i ran to the staff toilets and cried uncontrollably for 10 minutes.

at the moment, after been taken of the prozac, put on orlanzapene and citalopram, i have been put on efexor. i have only been taking this for 4 days. i still feel mind-numb. no emotions, no feelings in my head. no desire to do anything, watch tv or listen to music. no desire to see anyone. nothing. i am litterally, like a corpse, everyday. waking up exhausted in the morning, to walking around the flat, then lying back down again for the whole day, mulling over the past. the anxious thoughts never subside. they linger. they just keep coming back, over and over again. i cannot control them at all. my body aches constantly.

i just want this to end! i just want to be back to normal again!

how can i be my old self again?
 
D

Dollit

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M - what a devastating and extremely courageous post. I am overwhelmed by your desire to get well and feel hopeful for you that the desire is so strong. When I was very young I had my first bout of depression and I felt as though a pain of glass had come down between me and the world and I get that same feeling with you. Your emotions left and the physical pain appeared.

Effexor, like any antidepressant takes around 21 days to build up in your system. I was always told to give antidepressants a good six months before I decided whether or not they'd worked or not. It's a long time to think about but try to imagine that you're doing some good to yourself just by taking it every day.

I understand the loss that comes from loss of faith. I don't think my faith was that good to begin with (raised as a Roman Catholic) but it leaves a big hole in your life, it's a loss of one kind or another so that's not helping you at the moment.

When you lie down and you feel a thought coming in to your head I want you to start to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth slowly. You'll find your own pace. Concentrate solely on the feel of the breath as it hits the back of your nose and throat - how warm it feels, how powerful it feels and then as you breathe out through your mouth concentrate on the feeling of it in your mouth and how it feels as it escapes your lips. Do this each time you lie down. Don't put a time on it just let it happen and then in a few days tell me how it makes you feel. Just that one thing, nothing else.

In the meantime post as regularly as you want, send me a private message if you want, just keep in touch. People here will help you - they'll cheer as you pass milestones and hug you when you're feeling overwhelmed. Just like I will now :hug:

See you soon
 
sandybob

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hello there ..

I can completely relate to alot of what you describe.. numbness , pain, anxiety ....
i agree it does feel hopeless

but you have taken a positive step by joining here

take it slowly :hug:
 
M

msrx5sw2

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thanks very much, its good to know im not the only one with this!
:)
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Does anyone relate to the complete NUMBNESS i feel in my chest? i have'nt had a happy feeling on the inside for months! the only emotion i feel is utter misery. my head is also racing with anxious thoughts, which overwhelm me. i can't think straight at all.

Firstly Hello and :welcome: , glad you found us :).
I'm numb all the time have been for a few years now :cry:, not in my chest though .
I have only just started to get my concentration back also , i'd say i can concentrate for about 15 mins solid now , then i flick from thing to thing if that makes sense.
Sorry for the ramble .
Hope you find find a lot of support here , we are a good bunch :)
 
D

Dollit

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M - Sandybob and Fedup really know what they're talking about and they're good people to have around you. You're gathering a little support network already. :)
 
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