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Missfit

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Sep 9, 2008
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26
I really dunno what's up with me, it's like I have no feelings. Sorta like i'm in a bubble, I haven't been able to cry, haven't felt anything. Not happy, not sad. My CPN asked if maybe it's a normal mood for me but I don't think so because when I felt normal I could enjoy things. I'm not even sure why it bothers me, not having the bad feelings should be good, but I feel worse! It's almost like i'm existing, not living. I have Bipolar 2 & BPD, but don't feel up or down. I HATE it!
Feels weird saying I hate feeling normal. I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow so can tell him but I think he's going to double my antidepressants. Haven't been taking the meds really, I should be it's like i've given up. I just feel like the living dead right now. No energy, no interest in anything, no motivation. Sorry I can't even explain it but it's upsetting me!
 
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scooby1001

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May 28, 2008
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64
Just wanted to say missfit that i know totally how you feel i am in the same position pretty much as you. I can't offer any advice as if i have some i would use it myself also. It is so hard to get through the day(and night) isnt it when you feel like this. I hope you are ok.
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Missfit - you are not alone. I went through this in the depths of my depression and still have a milder form of it now. I think it made me impossible to live with because nothing mattered, I had an opinion on nothing, cared about nothing etc. etc. I think this made me suicidal because of that sense of nothingness, it really felt like a pointless existence.
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
Messages
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Location
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Hi Missfit, you really aren't alone in this I've been there and like Honey it made me suicidal because there was just nothing I'm a bit like that now if im honest.
I'd suggest start taking your antideppressants again they are there too help and if they aren't (after the 6 week initial period) then ask to have them swapped, certain ones don't work for everyone :hug:
Take care xxx
 
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Missfit

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Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
Thanks all, it's good to know others know how I feel, even though I wish none of us had this. Yep, Psyc upped my meds, feel pretty depressed by this, it's as tho they think chucking meds at me will cure me, I wish I had a counsellor, I always think meds alone won't do it, tho with how I am right now I prpbably wouldn't say much. My CPN is off tomorrow, I need to speak to someone :{
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Missfit - you can chat to us (not quite the same I know but it's something). Otherwise - do you have a phone number for your CPN - give them a ring. Here we've got a 24hr hotline that we can ring if things are just going a bit bleugh.

I agree with you that meds won't cure your illness on their own but they can be a big help and help you get to a position where you can start to make the most of talking therapies. I guess this is what happened to me (except that I keep wondering if I'm still ready for talking therapies - a lot of the times it's still just yuk and I think the support of the psychologist is wasted on me).

Oh well, anyway - were here for you!

Take care, Honey, xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Oh yeh - feel free to pm me if you like.

Take care!
 
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Missfit

Active member
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Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
To contact my CPN I just call the CMHT & they get her to call me back if she's not actually there. OOH it's the Crisis Team, but a GP/CPN etc have to refer me to them, the GP won't do house calls, so I have to go to A&E on the bus, walk across town & then sit in A&E for 4hrs with all the noise & bright lights & genuinely sick ppl & then they call the Crisis Team, by the time they arrive it's morning & almost time for my CPN to start work.
I might call up & see if another CPN is free to talk to me tomorrow, or ask if they can contact mine & have her call me, cause I know she's working as she said she has ward round in the morning with my Psyc, so I guess not at the CMHT until Wednesday.
I dunno why i'm so bad right now but it's affecting my physical illness, am almost at the point of not being able to walk with the pain. Gawd why am I so wound up, sorry everyone & thanks those who reply/ed
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Messages
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Location
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Don't say sorry Missfit - we're always here for you if you need us!

Take care,
Honey, xx
 
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