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M

Missfit

Active member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
I really dunno what's up with me, it's like I have no feelings. Sorta like i'm in a bubble, I haven't been able to cry, haven't felt anything. Not happy, not sad. My CPN asked if maybe it's a normal mood for me but I don't think so because when I felt normal I could enjoy things. I'm not even sure why it bothers me, not having the bad feelings should be good, but I feel worse! It's almost like i'm existing, not living. I have Bipolar 2 & BPD, but don't feel up or down. I HATE it!
Feels weird saying I hate feeling normal. I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow so can tell him but I think he's going to double my antidepressants. Haven't been taking the meds really, I should be it's like i've given up. I just feel like the living dead right now. No energy, no interest in anything, no motivation. Sorry I can't even explain it but it's upsetting me!
 
S

scooby1001

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
64
Just wanted to say missfit that i know totally how you feel i am in the same position pretty much as you. I can't offer any advice as if i have some i would use it myself also. It is so hard to get through the day(and night) isnt it when you feel like this. I hope you are ok.
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Missfit - you are not alone. I went through this in the depths of my depression and still have a milder form of it now. I think it made me impossible to live with because nothing mattered, I had an opinion on nothing, cared about nothing etc. etc. I think this made me suicidal because of that sense of nothingness, it really felt like a pointless existence.
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
Hi Missfit, you really aren't alone in this I've been there and like Honey it made me suicidal because there was just nothing I'm a bit like that now if im honest.
I'd suggest start taking your antideppressants again they are there too help and if they aren't (after the 6 week initial period) then ask to have them swapped, certain ones don't work for everyone :hug:
Take care xxx
 
M

Missfit

Active member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
Thanks all, it's good to know others know how I feel, even though I wish none of us had this. Yep, Psyc upped my meds, feel pretty depressed by this, it's as tho they think chucking meds at me will cure me, I wish I had a counsellor, I always think meds alone won't do it, tho with how I am right now I prpbably wouldn't say much. My CPN is off tomorrow, I need to speak to someone :{
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Missfit - you can chat to us (not quite the same I know but it's something). Otherwise - do you have a phone number for your CPN - give them a ring. Here we've got a 24hr hotline that we can ring if things are just going a bit bleugh.

I agree with you that meds won't cure your illness on their own but they can be a big help and help you get to a position where you can start to make the most of talking therapies. I guess this is what happened to me (except that I keep wondering if I'm still ready for talking therapies - a lot of the times it's still just yuk and I think the support of the psychologist is wasted on me).

Oh well, anyway - were here for you!

Take care, Honey, xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Oh yeh - feel free to pm me if you like.

Take care!
 
M

Missfit

Active member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
To contact my CPN I just call the CMHT & they get her to call me back if she's not actually there. OOH it's the Crisis Team, but a GP/CPN etc have to refer me to them, the GP won't do house calls, so I have to go to A&E on the bus, walk across town & then sit in A&E for 4hrs with all the noise & bright lights & genuinely sick ppl & then they call the Crisis Team, by the time they arrive it's morning & almost time for my CPN to start work.
I might call up & see if another CPN is free to talk to me tomorrow, or ask if they can contact mine & have her call me, cause I know she's working as she said she has ward round in the morning with my Psyc, so I guess not at the CMHT until Wednesday.
I dunno why i'm so bad right now but it's affecting my physical illness, am almost at the point of not being able to walk with the pain. Gawd why am I so wound up, sorry everyone & thanks those who reply/ed
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Don't say sorry Missfit - we're always here for you if you need us!

Take care,
Honey, xx
 
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