• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Numb Emotions and Not Feeling Love Because of Depression

P

pixi

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2021
Messages
7
Location
United Kingdom
My partner of almost a year and a half has told me that in the last couple of weeks he's sometimes felt like he's "drained" of his love for me (and love/enjoyment of other things too, sometimes just for me, sometimes just for other things). He described it like the garden hose being on full blast but somebody's stood on it not letting the water (love) get through. It's still there but he can't feel it. And then it'll suddenly come back and he'll be like "oh my god, that was horrible". He said he's also felt like he wants to just be on his own.

He told me that this feeling has happened in every relationship he's been in. He can feel totally fine and be completely happy and in love, and then suddenly feel nothing and empty. He's broken up with girls he's really loved because of it and been so sad and hurt afterwards. He says he feels more ups than downs and it might not happen that often at all (this is the first time in a year and a half) and he doesn't want to break up because he knows he'll feel fine more often than not.

He came into the room and said "I think all of this is depression" and then he broke down and really cried. He was sobbing saying he doesn't want to feel this way and he loves me so much, I'm the best girlfriend he's ever had, apologising to me for hurting me.. I've seen him cry but never like this. I just held him and soothed him.

He says he's had depression since he was a kid, even before he was a teen, and he has just always felt depressed.

I've been doing lots of research and it seems like a side effect of depression, stress, and anxiety is having your feelings numbed and like you don't love anyone or anything. I sent him the articles I found on emotional numbing and depression and he was dumbstruck. He thought he was broken and was just incapable of being in relationships, he didn't realise as well that his anger is a symptom, which I think is common in men. He feels like the mental health induced numbness explains everything and he's been doing lots of research since and seems to really resonate with the symptoms of having Depersonalization disorder as well as depression.

I just want some support from people who understand this, what can I do to help him? I love him so much and our relationship is great, we're best friends and both feel as though we're practically family. Even though we don't believe in marriage he says I feel like his wife. We're incredibly close.

These last few days he's been really working on loving himself, he's been exercising again for the first time in over a year, he's wearing his nice clothes (for weeks he's just been in hoodies and joggers), but more importantly he's being gentle with himself.

The other side of the coin of this is obviously it's rattled me somewhat too; I couldn't eat properly for days because I felt like he was falling out of love with me and I was going to lose him and I felt so confused. I still feel a bit shaken up and hurt, if I'm being honest. This is really hard.

Sending lots of love to those who are depressed and partners of the depressed xx
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,038
Location
Southern USA
Good Morning!
I'm sorry you and your partner are having worry but it's great he (or both) came to realize he is depressed.
First steps.
Welcome here and best luck!
 
P

pixi

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2021
Messages
7
Location
United Kingdom
Good Morning!
I'm sorry you and your partner are having worry but it's great he (or both) came to realize he is depressed.
First steps.
Welcome here and best luck!
Thank you! He's doing better and I know feels such relief to have answers. For the longest time he thought he was "bad" and just was unable to function in relationships.

I know there will be ups and downs but at least we know what we're dealing with now.
 
J

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
674
Location
United Kingdom
Baby steps at first. May be visit a doctor or therapist he can talk to. Thinking of you both. X
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
pixi, you seem a nice person, keep being supportive and understanding.....i had depression bad myself and having those around you who understand helps
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
T Empty and numb Depression Forum 5
M Feeling numb, yet ready to explode. Depression Forum 5
N Numb Depression Forum 3
A I'm just feeling numb Depression Forum 5
P Feeling overwhelmed or numb nothing inbetween Depression Forum 2
L Mind is dull and numb...not finding treatment Depression Forum 10
Emptysoal Numb Depression Forum 1
M Put down your antidepressant emotion numb experience Depression Forum 1
M Antidepressants emotion numb Depression Forum 8
M Emotion numb, Brain blank and lost motivation Depression Forum 49
D fake or real emotions Depression Forum 1
S Socializing and thoughts about emotions Depression Forum 2
R Feeling low Depression Forum 2
Z Just not feeling it today Depression Forum 4
R Left alone and feeling down Depression Forum 1
L Unsure how I'm feeling. Depression Forum 2
Jam1990 Finally feeling a bit stable Depression Forum 1
A on feeling lost Depression Forum 4
L Feeling Really Low Depression Forum 8
E I don't know what I'm feeling anymore Depression Forum 3
T Not feeling all that great Depression Forum 6
Capri19 Socialising when you’re not feeling great Depression Forum 9
I Feeling so I'll mentally trapped Depression Forum 3
C Feeling Angry and Upset Depression Forum 15
S Feeling stuck and overwhelmed Depression Forum 4
J Feeling's of death Depression Forum 5
P Feeling very down Depression Forum 15
P HELLO EVERYONE FEELING SO LOW AND VERY CONFUSED IT DRIVING ME CRAZY 🤪 Depression Forum 10
M I'm feeling lost Depression Forum 1
J Feeling worse now than a few years ago Depression Forum 4
L Depressed and Feeling Inadequate to My Loved Ones Depression Forum 4
Z Feeling like everything is empty Depression Forum 2
L Feeling alone and hopeless Depression Forum 8
RadioHush feeling good for the first time in a while :) Depression Forum 4
H Feeling hopeless Depression Forum 8
J Need some help I'm feeling very depressed the moment and just do not feel good Depression Forum 4
apple2003 tw: suicidal, feeling like a burden, out of control Depression Forum 9
I Feeling so depressed and fed up Depression Forum 8
CKM1234 Feeling very suicidal today Depression Forum 15
S Feeling stupid Depression Forum 1
J Feeling dodgy Depression Forum 5
R Feeling Empty and Down Depression Forum 4
dovah1024 Feeling Empty Depression Forum 8
R Feeling of inadequacy and can no longer enjoy things. Depression Forum 5
R Feeling lower every day from all I've been through Depression Forum 14
S Feeling depressed and disconnected Depression Forum 9
L Feeling confused about my head. Depression Forum 20
F Feeling stuck in everything... Depression Forum 1
Fireflies201 Feeling defeated and stuck Depression Forum 13
R Not feeling connected Depression Forum 18

Similar threads

Top