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NPD or BPD

G

greencheese902

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Sep 11, 2021
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Hampshire UK
Hi I was wondering if anyone could guess whether I have one or the other, or neither, based on these symptoms?

Covert NPD: elusivity, envy, aloofness, shyness and feelings of inadequacy, fear of exposure. I used to donate to food bank in front of people. Sometimes criticise people in my head but don't like to do it. Quite a significant symptom is I sometimes exaggerate my virtuousness in my own head. I feel this one is more plausible.

I have grandiose fantasies of being loved but it is kinda confusing because they are spiritual or religious.

BPD: If I feel I offended someone or they abandoned me (or on the NPD side, they are talking bad about me?) I struggle to focus and feel depressed. Had suicidal thoughts in the past or aggressive thoughts toward myself but it mostly went away. Fear of ghosts.
As a child I always clung to one friend, sometimes they were too nice to say it's annoying or shallow. But got so distressed when one friend stopped phoning me and was crying. On the NPD side worry it was one-sided friendships involving narcissistic supply. Also I still get intrusive thoughts and shake myself to get rid of them. I don't think I lack empathy profoundly, but not sure.

I think outwardly I seem a bit NPD but not BPD, and I identify more with it, but I'm not sure, or even not sure if I have anything. Thank you so much for advise and I appreciate your reading this very much.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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Jun 4, 2021
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Hi I was wondering if anyone could guess whether I have one or the other, or neither, based on these symptoms?

Covert NPD: elusivity, envy, aloofness, shyness and feelings of inadequacy, fear of exposure. I used to donate to food bank in front of people. Sometimes criticise people in my head but don't like to do it. Quite a significant symptom is I sometimes exaggerate my virtuousness in my own head. I feel this one is more plausible.

I have grandiose fantasies of being loved but it is kinda confusing because they are spiritual or religious.

BPD: If I feel I offended someone or they abandoned me (or on the NPD side, they are talking bad about me?) I struggle to focus and feel depressed. Had suicidal thoughts in the past or aggressive thoughts toward myself but it mostly went away. Fear of ghosts.
As a child I always clung to one friend, sometimes they were too nice to say it's annoying or shallow. But got so distressed when one friend stopped phoning me and was crying. On the NPD side worry it was one-sided friendships involving narcissistic supply. Also I still get intrusive thoughts and shake myself to get rid of them. I don't think I lack empathy profoundly, but not sure.

I think outwardly I seem a bit NPD but not BPD, and I identify more with it, but I'm not sure, or even not sure if I have anything. Thank you so much for advise and I appreciate your reading this very much.
I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't know much about BPD, so I might be wrong, but I've been diagnosed with a mix of NPD and ASPD, (also suspected bipolar), so I can guess.
Myself, I lack empathy for others (except for animals), I do have grandiose thinking, I lie easily and have no remorse for my actions, as I don't care about the consequences that I might bring to others (except mine) as I would do whatever I can in order to benefit myself.
I always think that I'm right no matter what and I often have outbursts of anger.
I don't realize I'm like that until someone points it out, as it comes naturally to me.
My psychiatrist says it comes from my childhood insecurities.
However, this doesn't mean that I'm bad or evil person, or I'm unable to be pleasant.
So if you recognize yourself in this description, you may have NPD (although in my case it's a mixture, so not sure).

Reading what you are saying about your behaviours though, sounds to me more likely BPD (as you are very dependent from people close to you and care alot about the view that others have about you).
I would exclude NPD in your case, since what you describe as narcissism could be called normal dignity, which is a good thing.
Looks like you are very insecure of yourself, so is more likely low self-esteem (that can lead to dependency on another person presence).

In my view, I think everyone can be a bit narcissistic in a way or another , depending on the circumstances, but it differs greatly from the disorder.
Anyway, I would suggest to talk with a professional, as psychotherapy might help you understand yourself, aswell as talking here.

Good luck
 
G

greencheese902

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
Hampshire UK
Thank you so much for your insight and advice!! I guess I could have BPD traits in the same way you said people can have narcissistic traits but not the diagnosis.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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Thank you so much for your insight and advice!! I guess I could have BPD traits in the same way you said people can have narcissistic traits but not the diagnosis.
You are very welcome :)
Can be difficult to start writing, but it could be a start, you can find many people here who can give you great advice regarding your doubts.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I'm full on BPD with high ASPD traits and also quite high NPD traits. These Cluster B disorders really overlap quite a lot sometimes.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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Europe
You very much DON'T seem to have NPD.

I'm not familiar enough with BPD to comment on that aspect.
 
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