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- Joined
- Jul 24, 2009
- Messages
- 2
Hi I'm hoping someone here will be able to give me some help or advice. I'll try to keep details brief so as not to bore or confuse anyone, including myself 
I'm 39 and a mum to 5 amazing children aged between 12 and 18. Over the years my condition had me pulling them too me and as a result they have missed out on many things, they were home educated, we've never been
on holiday, never built sandcastles, never had trips to the zoo or a theme park. Anyone who has gone through this will know exactly how it makes you feel and it's not pretty at all
My inlaws are every sufferers nightmare, a total lack of understanding and completely ignorant. A few years ago my husband was given an ultimatum "it's her or us" scenario. Suffice to say my husband chose me.
So now, in my eyes, I was responsible for my children missing out on things in life and the breakdown in my husbands relationship with his parents. You can imagine this made me feel so very very awful.
A few months ago I encouraged my husband to make contact again with his parents. No, I didnt like them, I thought they were horrible people loud, brash, ignorant. But they are his parents and he loves them.
He did make contact and they appeared at the house a week or 2 later. His father didn't speak to me at all and his mother could hardly string 2 words together. I don't think I've ever been so uncomfortable in my life and couldn't wait for them to leave.
Our marriage had already hit rock bottom and deep down I knew that things could never be the same again. Ever.
I am happy to say that over the last 6 months alot has changed, I've worked so hard on different parts of my condition and now my children are going further afield, my eldest daughter has started college, got a part time job, goes to gigs in different cities. My second eldest also attends the gigs and is starting college in January. The 3 younger ones have been going out every Saturday for the past 2 months. It's been hard work, mentally but eventually the panic went away... until yesterday.
This week was particularly awful, small issues with my eldest and her boyfriend, PMS, everything I had gone through in recent months all
came to a head and I asked my husband (yup still here) for help. He refused and threw our relationship in my face. The panic was too awful.
His parents arrived and he went out, I asked my daughter to lock the door as I am sleeping on the sofa bed in the lounge and I knew his mother would walk in. My husband came back into the house and shouted the children to get ready. They saw the state I was in, but in fairness they wanted to go. He unlocked the door and stood with it open, his mum kindly invited herslf in and started on me at me about how the children hadn't seen this that or the other. Yes, I know all this I dont need to be told! I've only ever been made to feel that completely worthless once before and again that came from his side of the family!
So there I am sitting in up on a sofa bed, no clothes on, just a duvet wrapped around me and this woman I hardly know having a go at me in front
of my children. I was devastated, humiliated and my husband did nothing to stop it. Oh and yes the children did go and I did survive (I didn't doubt
this bit!) my twin boys happily walked out but my little girl took some coaxing by the grandmother.
Since this happened I have cried almost continuously, completely heartbroken and don't want to face anyone, even my children. I just feel so embarrassed.
I have been given an opportunity to go to and make a new life in Ireland. I have nothing to stay here for, my parents dont speak to me, no idea why,
it just stopped. My 2 eldest daughters have lives here, boyfriends and the 3 youngest well they have daddy, granny and grandad.
I want to go but it means a 3 hour drive to the ferry termial, 2 hour crossing to Dublin and then a 3 1\2 hour drive to the final destination.
I'm lost, confused and hurt. I can't stay here, even if I wanted to try and give my relationship with my husband another go otherwise it'll be me
giving the ultimatums and thats really not my style.

I'm 39 and a mum to 5 amazing children aged between 12 and 18. Over the years my condition had me pulling them too me and as a result they have missed out on many things, they were home educated, we've never been
on holiday, never built sandcastles, never had trips to the zoo or a theme park. Anyone who has gone through this will know exactly how it makes you feel and it's not pretty at all

My inlaws are every sufferers nightmare, a total lack of understanding and completely ignorant. A few years ago my husband was given an ultimatum "it's her or us" scenario. Suffice to say my husband chose me.
So now, in my eyes, I was responsible for my children missing out on things in life and the breakdown in my husbands relationship with his parents. You can imagine this made me feel so very very awful.
A few months ago I encouraged my husband to make contact again with his parents. No, I didnt like them, I thought they were horrible people loud, brash, ignorant. But they are his parents and he loves them.
He did make contact and they appeared at the house a week or 2 later. His father didn't speak to me at all and his mother could hardly string 2 words together. I don't think I've ever been so uncomfortable in my life and couldn't wait for them to leave.
Our marriage had already hit rock bottom and deep down I knew that things could never be the same again. Ever.
I am happy to say that over the last 6 months alot has changed, I've worked so hard on different parts of my condition and now my children are going further afield, my eldest daughter has started college, got a part time job, goes to gigs in different cities. My second eldest also attends the gigs and is starting college in January. The 3 younger ones have been going out every Saturday for the past 2 months. It's been hard work, mentally but eventually the panic went away... until yesterday.
This week was particularly awful, small issues with my eldest and her boyfriend, PMS, everything I had gone through in recent months all
came to a head and I asked my husband (yup still here) for help. He refused and threw our relationship in my face. The panic was too awful.
His parents arrived and he went out, I asked my daughter to lock the door as I am sleeping on the sofa bed in the lounge and I knew his mother would walk in. My husband came back into the house and shouted the children to get ready. They saw the state I was in, but in fairness they wanted to go. He unlocked the door and stood with it open, his mum kindly invited herslf in and started on me at me about how the children hadn't seen this that or the other. Yes, I know all this I dont need to be told! I've only ever been made to feel that completely worthless once before and again that came from his side of the family!
So there I am sitting in up on a sofa bed, no clothes on, just a duvet wrapped around me and this woman I hardly know having a go at me in front
of my children. I was devastated, humiliated and my husband did nothing to stop it. Oh and yes the children did go and I did survive (I didn't doubt
this bit!) my twin boys happily walked out but my little girl took some coaxing by the grandmother.
Since this happened I have cried almost continuously, completely heartbroken and don't want to face anyone, even my children. I just feel so embarrassed.
I have been given an opportunity to go to and make a new life in Ireland. I have nothing to stay here for, my parents dont speak to me, no idea why,
it just stopped. My 2 eldest daughters have lives here, boyfriends and the 3 youngest well they have daddy, granny and grandad.
I want to go but it means a 3 hour drive to the ferry termial, 2 hour crossing to Dublin and then a 3 1\2 hour drive to the final destination.
I'm lost, confused and hurt. I can't stay here, even if I wanted to try and give my relationship with my husband another go otherwise it'll be me
giving the ultimatums and thats really not my style.
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