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Now I just give up.

N

Norken1

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Norway
Hello.

I dont know why I am posting. I really hate sympathy really.

I have had a shit life since I was a child. Grew up with both parents as alcoholics with lots of emotional abuse and a fucked up childhoos. My mother has deep mental issues and I am afraid of developing them myself.

My father had huge alcohol problems and dies 3 years ago because of it.

I feel everyone in my life is leaving me. I have never had a girlfriend at age of 27. I really feel the need of having someone in my life.but somehow I always fuck it up.

I dated a girl 7 months ago who upped and left in a hurry and found someone else. Broke my heart. I recently started dated a new girl now who seems like she also just dissapeared on me.

I just sitting by myself now. Listening to some music and I have been drinking a bit. I just feel like giving up on everything.

Funny thing is that I have lots of hobbies, friends, house and a steady job.

Still even if I have a lot of friends I just feel so extremely lonely all the time. So tragically lonely. I feel like I am all alone and no one cares or will ever care about me.

Even my sisters who I know cares I feel that they just know a fake version of me.

Sometimes i feel like just ending it all. But I wont.

Idunno I am just rambling a bit. I just feel like shit all the time
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,582
Location
USA
Hi N! Don’t give up. We’ve all been in that lonely place and understand.

What are some of your hobbies?
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,246
Are you in therapy? It will help you come to terms with what sounds like a very rough childhood. You need some support. You should not be doing this alone. Norway has exceptional healthcare, investigate and invest in you.

You are worth it.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,194
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi welcome to the forum x
im sorry you have been through and are going through so much
I hope things improve for you real soon x love fairy Lu xxx
 
N

Norken1

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Norway
Hi and thanks for your replies.. I was in therapy for some months last year but it didnt help at all.

My hobbies range from working out, hiking in mountains, fishing, pistol/rifle shooting etc.. So I have tons to do really.. And a great work enviroment actually..

I feel most of problems come in the weekends. When I am not occuping my head with things during the week. and I am just sitting alone in silence. I can get extremely overwhelmed and hopeless
 
LadyDomino

LadyDomino

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
141
Location
Dorset
Keeping busy can help, you say your problems are worse at weekends, could this be due to having less to think about compared to when you are at work? If so - you have a good range of hobbies - can you do more of these at weekends?

You know from hard experience what alcohol can do to someone with mental health issues - can you try to stay off the booze - and isn't it very expensive in Norway anyway?

Its worth trying to talk to friends - a good friend will be supportive.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,373
Location
London
Not sure what you want us to say its ok to feel like you want to give up but doing it will be the biggest regret of your life
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,582
Location
USA
Hi and thanks for your replies.. I was in therapy for some months last year but it didnt help at all.

My hobbies range from working out, hiking in mountains, fishing, pistol/rifle shooting etc.. So I have tons to do really.. And a great work enviroment actually..

I feel most of problems come in the weekends. When I am not occuping my head with things during the week. and I am just sitting alone in silence. I can get extremely overwhelmed and hopeless
Relaxing and doing nothing can also be great but sometimes it’s an acquired skill. If you can find shows or little activities you can do at home that you like I think that’ll help you
 
N

Norken1

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Norway
Keeping busy can help, you say your problems are worse at weekends, could this be due to having less to think about compared to when you are at work? If so - you have a good range of hobbies - can you do more of these at weekends?

You know from hard experience what alcohol can do to someone with mental health issues - can you try to stay off the booze - and isn't it very expensive in Norway anyway?

Its worth trying to talk to friends - a good friend will be supportive.
Yes it is extrmely expensive. But I never drink in weekdays.

To sadounchingbag.. I dint know what i want to hear.. I had lots of friend over today at my house.. Like 10 peoole.. I felt like shit all the time. We were drinking before hitting the bar/club. After a while I actually had a good time but then all of a sudden the girl I was prev. dating sat down next to me with her new boyfriend and was f. Ing grinding up on him like insane and looking hot as fuck.

All my friends were like: oh you shouldnt have fucked that up, look how good she looks etc and my heart just dropped and destroyed my night. I actually started to feel good before she came.

I just came back home alone now feeling like absolute shit. I actually punched a whole through the wall in my living room just thinking about all this bullshit.

Might seem trivial with this girl but it all just is evidence of how fucking unlovable and alone I am. I am so tired and exhausted of everyone leaving me and I guess I am just doomed to stay alone. Guess its for the best not to drag anyone into this shit life anyway.

Just pathetic really.
 
L

Lorcos

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
65
Location
USA
I find drinking never helps with feelings of depression. Just my opinion.
 
N

Norken1

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Norway
I find drinking never helps with feelings of depression. Just my opinion.
Me neither.. It numbs it down a tad in the beginning and makes in 10x worse later.

I will stop drinking at least when I am just by myself from now on.
 
M

MAGIC

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2017
Messages
13
Hi, I’ve been through the same things you went through (Not abuse). What worked for me is to keep my self as busy as possible, So i dont give my mind a chance to think about anything that is bothering me since for ever. If you can keep your self busy during weekends you will be fine... i guess. it worked like a charm for me. good luck mate.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
55
Location
Philippines
Hello.

I dont know why I am posting. I really hate sympathy really.

I have had a shit life since I was a child. Grew up with both parents as alcoholics with lots of emotional abuse and a fucked up childhoos. My mother has deep mental issues and I am afraid of developing them myself.

My father had huge alcohol problems and dies 3 years ago because of it.

I feel everyone in my life is leaving me. I have never had a girlfriend at age of 27. I really feel the need of having someone in my life.but somehow I always fuck it up.

I dated a girl 7 months ago who upped and left in a hurry and found someone else. Broke my heart. I recently started dated a new girl now who seems like she also just dissapeared on me.

I just sitting by myself now. Listening to some music and I have been drinking a bit. I just feel like giving up on everything.

Funny thing is that I have lots of hobbies, friends, house and a steady job.

Still even if I have a lot of friends I just feel so extremely lonely all the time. So tragically lonely. I feel like I am all alone and no one cares or will ever care about me.

Even my sisters who I know cares I feel that they just know a fake version of me.

Sometimes i feel like just ending it all. But I wont.

Idunno I am just rambling a bit. I just feel like shit all the time
You are important and you are precious. The Supreme being knows what you are going through and he will help and guide you.

You were created to be strong, courageous, peaceful and happy. Happiness is a decision. So, choose to be happy. It will make you feel good ans happy if you help someone.

I suggest you read the small ebook BE HAPPY AGAIN. It is a good book.
 
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