Noticed when needed

Winter33

Winter33

New member
Joined
Mar 6, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Uk
#1
I don't know if anyone will read this but I feel I need to write this down as if it were for someone who cares.

I'm sad, lonely and most of the time I feel completely worthless. My life consists of work during the week and babysit for my sisters kids every weekend, I have 0 friends because I'm shy, i nursed my mum and nan through illnesses until they died and after that it was like I'd forgotten how to live. I don't go out much because of my anxiety in group situations, I've always been a home bird and on the odd occasion I have befriended someone they use me, treat me like crap and leave me. I always feel like people only talk to me or notice me when they need something from me. My mum passed away 3 years ago, she was my best friend, I miss her more than I could ever say. Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives and I'm being left behind and no one notices, my sister contacts me when she needs me, when her bf is around I don't hear from her for days and my brother only needs me when he needs a lift somewhere. I feel that if it weren't for my neice and nephew then there really is no reason for me to stay around anymore.
I have never tried to hurt myself and I don't want to die I just don't see a reason for me to be here, what's the reason for my existence? Surely this can't be it?!

Reading this back it all seems quite trivial. There is people out there far worse off then me, I have a home and a job, I know I should be grateful.
 
write

write

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Joined
Aug 4, 2017
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1,488
Location
stuck
#2
I have read your words. How you feel isn't trivial. You are important. Your life is as valid as anyone else's and you deserve happiness. You have helped and do help your family, the title of your thread hurts, I recognise that feeling. You need to be heard. Thank you for sharing. I hope being here helps you xx
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
459
Location
Plymouth
#3
I have read it & I'm not really sure what to say, apart from the fact that's it's not trivial, it seems like something you needed to get off your chest, have you ever thought about a trip away somewhere, get away from things?
 
L

LouiseMN

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Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
267
Location
Minnesota
#4
I have read it & I'm not really sure what to say, apart from the fact that's it's not trivial, it seems like something you needed to get off your chest, have you ever thought about a trip away somewhere, get away from things?
I have read it also and it makes me sad. Are you getting treatment?
 
Shadow-one

Shadow-one

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Nov 6, 2016
Messages
4,101
Location
Ireland
#5
Hey Winter

:welcome: to the forum!

My goodness that is FAR from trivial...

It absolutely matters... Like YOU matter - as do your feelings....

It's a very sad and depressing place to be completely invisible to everyone around you. You sound, to me, like the 'kind' person who is always there for everybody else.. always ready to help out or look after, be it your mom or niece and nephew.

It seems that everyone has got off the hook for so long that they no longer appreciate you as a person, but treat you like a service.

Something really does need to change winter, because your health both mentally and physically is going to deteriorate quickly.

Could you organise a night out for yourself and your sister? Let her ask the children's dad or......just someone else to mind the children.... See that there ARE other people out there to call...

Maybe then you could find a way to tell her about how you're feeling. It needn't be a big announcement, just pop in a few 'chosen' words that will plant a seed - so maybe she thinks about you next time and considers your feelings..

I hope you do find the courage to change even just one thing to make you happier..
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,759
Location
USA
#6
I've read your words too and understand completely.I'm sorry you're experiencing what you are.

Stop doing all the things you do for others and watch how fast they notice.They won't like it at all but it's time you show them you're a person not just a thing.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,818
Location
England
#7
Hi Winter,
Welcome to the forum
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, I recently lost my dad so understand how your feeling.
Well done for caring for your family, you sound very sweet indeed.
Hope you make friends here very soon.
Do you have any hobbies or interests?
Here to listen anytime.
Take care
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,366
#8
Hi :welcome: to the forum, thanks for sharing I know it can be hard but you've joined a supportive group x
 
Winter33

Winter33

New member
Joined
Mar 6, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Uk
#9
Well today is my birthday and only one person remembered. What's the point?!!
 
L

LouiseMN

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Feb 27, 2019
Messages
267
Location
Minnesota
#10
Happy Birthday! If you were on Facebook all kinds of Facebook "friends" would "remember", Not meaningful at all. Do you remember birthdays of all of uour friends or even relatives? You still have real friends. I guess if my spouse forgot I would be hurt somewhat.
 
L

LouiseMN

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Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
267
Location
Minnesota
#11
Happy Birthday! If you were on Facebook all kinds of Facebook "friends" would "remember", Not meaningful at all. Do you remember birthdays of all of uour friends or even relatives? You still have real friends. I guess if my spouse forgot I would be hurt somewhat.
Hope you are feeling better, sorry your birthday makes you sad. Sorry if I was harsh above.
 
Shadow-one

Shadow-one

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Nov 6, 2016
Messages
4,101
Location
Ireland
#12
Sorry only one person remembered your birthday winter.....

I imagine that that hurt a lot......

I hope it was your sister at least after all you do for her....
 
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