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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
No one cares what happened to me, they all just think it’s in the past, I should have already move on. I’m safe now, but I’m still stuck! There’s nothing I can do but create external pain to mask the internal agony.
I now feel like I don’t even on belong on here after today.
 
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Fairy Rapunzel

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2021
Messages
91
Location
hell
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Please don't hurt yourself. If you want, you can tell us about what happened and why you feel this way. Sometimes talking about our problems helps a lot. I hope you feel better soon :hug1:
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
I have no one.
My marriage has just ended.
I sat for ages and cried my eyes out whilst posting my trauma history in the journal section and now it’s gone and I have no idea why.
I feel so alone
 
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Fairy Rapunzel

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2021
Messages
91
Location
hell
I'm sorry about all of this :hug1: I think whenever we find ourselves in situations where we feel like we're trapped, it starts to seem like we'll feel that way forever. I think with the right kind of help you can feel better again. Are you going to therapy? Sometimes speaking to therapists can help. Do you have family who can help you?
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
No family for support, I do have a therapist, saw her yesterday
 
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Fairy Rapunzel

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2021
Messages
91
Location
hell
Does talking to your therapist help you a bit? I don't know much about marriages and relationships, so I probably won't be able to give much advice. Sorry about this. But we can talk if you need someone to speak to. A lot of people on this forum are very helpful. For me, being on here helps me feel less alone. Maybe you might start feeling that way too? I just hope you feel better soon. Is there anything else that is going on that is causing you to feel this way? If you want, you can write about it on here. When it comes to therapy, have you tried group therapy? Maybe talking to other people who probably went through something similar can help.
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
I have CPTSD, started trauma therapy in may last year. My husband has struggled to support me and was very emotionally unavailable. He has decided it’s all just too difficult for him. We have separated but still living together currently. I’m told to not give focus to my trauma memories/flashbacks but I don’t know how/cant shift the focus. I just get stuck in my past. I just feel defeated by it all. I have no pre trauma time to refer to as my whole childhood was traumatic from the beginning. I don’t know who I am or who I would have been without my trauma responses. I just feel so lost.
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
My post in the journals has been added back, I don’t know where it went or why, I doesn’t seem to have been edited. I thought I had done something wrong 😢 that what I had shared was wrong. I’ve never had that happen to any post before but maybe it was reported.

Thank you so much @Fairy Rapunzel for taking the time to speak with me
 
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Fairy Rapunzel

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2021
Messages
91
Location
hell
My post in the journals has been added back, I don’t know where it went or why, I doesn’t seem to have been edited. I thought I had done something wrong 😢 that what I had shared was wrong. I’ve never had that happen to any post before but maybe it was reported.

Thank you so much @Fairy Rapunzel for taking the time to speak with me
First I just want to say from what you've told me that it sounds like you're going through a lot of stress. And I'm so sorry about all of this and that you're dealing with it alone. I don't know why your husband treated you that way. I believe people should support someone who has been through trauma. I understand it's tough, but you've been through a lot. I think finding the right kind of support is very important. Whether it's here, or with therapy, or meeting friends in life who understand what it is you're going through. I think therapy is the most important when it comes to trauma. I just wish the best for you and I hope you feel better soon! Also I'm glad to hear that you got your journal posts back! Good luck with everything.

:grouphug:
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
@Littlewarrior I initially thought you were talking about your home life, and i was thinking 'me too' people think i'm 'fine' now but it is not that simple is it. It is hard to come to terms with things that have happened or our being unwell. I don't feel i have even been 'well' myself, just less unwell.

I'm sorry if something upsetting has happened here. Try to take a deep breath, and ignore it.

Remember that many of us on here are struggling in life as you are, so aren't always our best selves. I'm sorry if i have ever upset anyone :( Please always report anything that upsets you, even if you need help yourself on your thread with something/a reply, maybe one of the guides can pop on and help you out.
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
@Tawny

Me confused!?!
I was talking about my home life and my past. My post disappearing in the journals section was just the cherry on top of everything if that makes sense.
No one has upset me. I was highly anxious and concern as to why it was removed. I though my history was read in a way that people thought I was ‘a bad person’ or something. Or that I’d badly triggered someone despite my warnings, but it’s back now so I assume all is ok.
🤗
 
Kannon

Kannon

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2022
Messages
103
Location
England
I wonder if group therapy would help? I've always been sort of interested, but not sure if speaking to a group about my problems would help tbh. Maybe that's something you could consider? Meet people with similar experiences and bond IRL. Forums are helpful to vent, but they don't really offer comfort or true release. No one is actually going to hug you on a forum no matter how many emojis are posted. The internet unfortunately makes everyone look like they're being fake even if they're genuine.
 
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Littlewarrior

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
65
Location
U.K.
@Kannon

I will perhaps look in to that when I’m done in my trauma therapy. It would be useful to build on my communication with people IRL.

Thanks for the suggestion 😊
 
Kannon

Kannon

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2022
Messages
103
Location
England
@Littlewarrior Plus I believe such groups do hugging sessions etc? I have no idea. All of my knowledge of group therapy comes from Fight Club. But IRL physical comfort is suuuuuuuuuuuper valuable. Just ask me, I need that shit bad ; _ ;
 
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