D
digithree
New member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2010
- Messages
- 2
I think I might have an anxiety disorder but I'm not sure if it's serious enough to really be a problem. It doesn't really seem to effect my life outwardly very much although sometimes I do get what I think are panic attacks. My pulse becomes very noticeable, blood pressure and heart rate increase and if I close my eyes I see lots of moving white lights. Often my stomach feels very weird while this is happening and I find it difficult to stop stretching my muscles as this almost gives me some mental relief, as if I'm resetting my efforts to calm down and start again, kind of saying "Ok, now I'm going to relax" to myself. But these attacks don't come often and to be honest, mostly happen after I've been drinking, i.e. on a hangover.
Day to day though I find myself going about my life on auto-pilot, it doesn't feel like it's 'me' doing anything I do, as if I'm not consciously giving instructions to my body. Everything feels like a reflex. It's like I'm watching myself. Nothing feels very real. This scares me a bit and sometimes if I become too aware of this fear I feel a brief physical panic rush, like a pins and needles sensation and I feel a bit sick.
Does anyone know of any way I can feel more comfortable in my life and my body? The physical symptoms have only developed in the last year, after I moved to London and had a few frightening experiences. I've smoked cannabis and drank alcohol for the last 9 years (although I've cut down my smoking to nearly nothing in the last year) and so mental escape has been something I've pursued. In the last 4 or 5 years I've occasionally experimented with other drugs too, seeking an altered perspective on life and also of course to feel high.
I want to feel mentally strong and safe. At the moment I feel like I'm softly on the edge, if that makes sense, that kind of feeling where you think something is just about to go very wrong. I worry I might have a seizure when I go to sleep, some times I jerk as I'm falling to sleep because it feels like my brain is switching off and, not to be too melodramatic, that I might die.
Sorry this is so long. Does anyone have any ideas of positive steps I can take? I'm kind of scared.
Day to day though I find myself going about my life on auto-pilot, it doesn't feel like it's 'me' doing anything I do, as if I'm not consciously giving instructions to my body. Everything feels like a reflex. It's like I'm watching myself. Nothing feels very real. This scares me a bit and sometimes if I become too aware of this fear I feel a brief physical panic rush, like a pins and needles sensation and I feel a bit sick.
Does anyone know of any way I can feel more comfortable in my life and my body? The physical symptoms have only developed in the last year, after I moved to London and had a few frightening experiences. I've smoked cannabis and drank alcohol for the last 9 years (although I've cut down my smoking to nearly nothing in the last year) and so mental escape has been something I've pursued. In the last 4 or 5 years I've occasionally experimented with other drugs too, seeking an altered perspective on life and also of course to feel high.
I want to feel mentally strong and safe. At the moment I feel like I'm softly on the edge, if that makes sense, that kind of feeling where you think something is just about to go very wrong. I worry I might have a seizure when I go to sleep, some times I jerk as I'm falling to sleep because it feels like my brain is switching off and, not to be too melodramatic, that I might die.
Sorry this is so long. Does anyone have any ideas of positive steps I can take? I'm kind of scared.