• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

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skye81

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Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
7
Hi everyone...
So as the title suggests I'm not really sure what to say. I'm sure you are inundated with new members who all have a story to tell. I suppose I don't really feel that my 'story' validates the time and effort of others but I could really do with some advice. I have had bad experiences as a child and growing up which I don't feel able to go in to but for whatever reasons these have impacted on my life in a significant way. I have been treated for depression on and off for more years then I can remember, self-harmed at times quite badly because I wanted to make myself suffer and taken overdoses...obviously these haven't been serious as I'm still here but the bad thoughts, feelings of emptiness and depression always come back. Even after endless therapy with counsellors and psychotherapists I can't make it go away. Now after the latest crisis I had I have been told that they think I have Borderline Personality Disorder. This has completely thrown me as it was unexpected to say the least. It made me mad because I knew nothing about it and also because for all the years and times I have known there was something wrong with me, everytime I voiced it I didn't feel like I was taken seriously. Now I have been left with 2 weeks to find out about this thing I may have and I don't know how i'm supposed to feel about it. I have looked at so much information on the internet that I can't think anymore. Apart from the massive rant and release of what i'm thinking I just wondered if anyone had any advice or experience they could share please?? Sorry if this doesn't make sense it literally is just pouring out of me. I'm grateful in advance for any replies. I have my 2nd appointment with a psych nurse on Monday to discuss further but not really sure what he will say. I'm 33 by the way and not crazy...despite how I may sound !!!!!!!
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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Hi skye81, welcome to the forum. You have lots of support here and hope you will be helped.
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Hello there, well first of all let me try to tell you to not look too much on the internet as it can be counterproductive, though a good source for information.

It's not pleasant to hear that you had some bad experiences as a child, you in no way need to go into detail about this if you are not in a mood to do so, but if you feel like venting something here i will listen, clearly things in childhood have a great impact on our life whether we want it to or not, speaking from experience on this matter, my mother was a drunk my brother didnt care and i was left with both my smaller siblings to take care off, my mother was so diplomatic and good at talking that she shrugged the child protective services away, it was more aswell but i too cannot go into detail too much on such things, but this is about you just wanted to say that you are not alone.

I too do sh by the way, in my own special way which may seem strange to some but nevertheless, sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that we want a different pain to substitue the other one that we're having, also you say you have taken overdoses though not serious but could this be a cry for help? i know you have already seen your psychiatrists/psychologists and they dont seem to offer the support you need, i am quite sad to hear this.

Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Even doctors can be wrong too, and i believe that sometimes we are just humans and everything has a diagnosis to it, but i dont want to interfere too much with your doctor's statement so i wont elaborate on this matter.

And nobody here thinks you're crazy i can tell you that id say, but apart from my usual adwice such as exercising, trying to meditate by inhaling through nose and breathing out the belly i simply have to leave the rest in the hands of someone professional or someone who actually has this disorder.

I hope i have helped a little though, and know that you are not alone in some of what you experience.

But it's not sure that you have it even though you have some of the symptoms
 
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Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Skye81 and welcome.

I'm not surprised that you feel angry and confused. All I can offer in way of advice is to start writing down any questions and queries you have, regarding how you're feeling and your diagnosis, and take it all in with you at your next appointment. It can be very overwhelming when first diagnosed and you're bound to want to know the whys, hows and wherefores but it's also easy to get distracted or forget things. It's so annoying when you leave an appointment and so wish you'd asked or said something in particular!

I hope you're okay and get the answers you need.
 
Gibson91

Gibson91

Active member
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Sep 25, 2014
Messages
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Born to Wander
:welcome: Hi Skye81 :hug1:

Sorry you've had a rough time and now this latest development of a sudden diagnosis!! I know you've read a lot and you're probably sick of info, but I'm in a FB Support Group and some PD sufferers were saying yesterday this guide was a great help http://www.emergenceplus.org.uk/ima...ge-making-a-difference-practitioner-guide.pdf Its very centred around the service-user [ I know, awful term, yuk].

Hope you find help + support here on this forum, many have xx :hug:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Welcome to the forum.
Yep, BPD can make you feel 'crazy' at times, but you're not alone. I have been given this diagnosis (though I think it was wrong to be given with and I think it's less accurate as time goes by).
We have a BPD sub-forum here, which you might have already seen. But posts in there get responded to quite well, so if in future you need support from people who understand, that's a good place to post.
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

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Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
Hey Skye81! Yay! Skye81's here!

Okay, first thing is that your issues are no less important or unimportant than anyone else's. You could be sitting in A&E with a cut finger and everyone else has their legs hanging off, it doesn't stop your finger hurting any less. Remember we all see our problems as less important than other peoples, that's bollocks for a start.

So welcome! It's great you are here, jump in and join us, we are all friends here!

Secondly, i'm sorry there is bad stuff in the past for you, I hope someone is helping you work through that and if it affects your present you need some help and support for it, okay? Remember the purpose of therapy is not necessarily for it to 'go away', but for you to work through it so you can move forward and look forward to the future!

I have BPD and it can be tricky BUT I reckon us BPD people are the best! :D You are in some REALLY good company!

Dive in, make friends, give and receive love and support :hug5:
Davey x

p.s. you are NOT crazy! You are flipping MARVELLOUS, just like the rest of us! x
 
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skye81

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
7
Thank you so much for all your replies, I really appreciate that you have taken the time to read and reply with some really helpful advice. I wasn't expecting everyone to be so friendly and helpful...thank you ! I'll definitely have a look at the links you have suggested and I took the good advice to write things down that I wanted to ask or say in my appointment on Monday, I feel like this has been the longest 2 weeks of my life waiting for the next appointment without anyone to talk to about things. I think I have decided that I want to go ahead and find out for sure with a diagnosis, the psych nurse suggested that this wasn't necessarily the right thing to do because of the label and stigma??? I'm not worried about that though I just want to know. Have you all received official diagnosis'? How did you feel about it?? Sorry for everything you have all been through by the way, I know how crappy things can make you feel sometimes. It seems like there is lots of good support on here anyway so I'm really pleased I joined. I don't feel able to offer anything helpful at the moment but hopefully as time goes on i'll be able to contribute more, I hope that's ok? I still need to familiarise myself with how it all works anyway! Sorry it took me so long to reply back and say thanks...I kind of have a full household and rarely get time alone when I can think. Thanks again to you all. Skye xxx
 
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skye81

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
7
Wow...that's a lot of information in there but I think it will be good reading and I like the way the booklet is been set out. Thanks for sharing xx
 
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