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liliboo1

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
1
My wife and I have been in a civil partnership for just over 9 years now everything was going good for the first year then boom it was just like a bomb going off my wife S got ovarian cancer and I broke a major bone in my arm which meant We both couldn't work at the time S had a fall which meant left her with a bad back and the chemo gave her nerve damage in her feet which left her unable to walk properly on top of this S suffers with epilepsy she had not had a seizure for 10 years then this same year the fits started coming in the mean time S's mum had been taking ill which she passed away S was beginning to hear her mums voice telling S to cut her hair on which she did in the middle of the town lucky some one we both knew stayed with her till I got there we seen a doctor S went for some counselling the seizures where getting worse then I found out she was self harming S's seizures were getting less due to her self harming so she would carry on harming herself the therapist told us to go and see the doctor to try and sort her medication out and said she would see us in a couple of months time not sure what to do who to see or where to go any advice would be truly welcome thanks
 
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katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello and :welcome:

I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this; that sounds really, really rough. So many physical illnesses and stressful experiences can also really impact on your mental health.

Unfortunately the waiting lists for therapy are months long. I hope your wife can go to the doctor and try to sort out medication; maybe something that helps with the epilepsy and maybe something for depression?

In the meantime, I'd try to encourage your wife to find help from other areas; it sounds as though she does want to get help as she's been speaking to a therapist, which is a great sign. Maybe she could join the forum? The forum's really good for advice and support.

Also, there are some phone lines you can contact:

"Harmless provides information, support, training and consultancy for people who self harm, as well as their friends, families and professionals."

National Self Harm Network "Our priority is to support survivors and people who self-harm. We also support the people it indirectly affects, like family and friends."

Hopefully they'll be able to suggest alternatives to self-harm which might be calming and have a beneficial effect on your wife's epilepsy too - making her less likely to want to self-harm?

Wish you and your wife all the best.
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hello lilliboo

Welcome the forum.

(You posted in the local forums which are not very busy, just to let you know, if you post in the main forums you may get more replies - but we found you still!)

I am so sorry to hear everything you and your wife have been going through. The stress of the illness, treatment, and the bereavement could be responsible for the seizures coming back. It is also not uncommon for someone who has been bereaved to have experiences like hearing their loved one's voice.

There is no way to speed up coming to terms with all the stressful events you have both gone through. I think the advice from jruth and Nikita is good. You definitely should go back to the GP and ask what support there is in your area, from the mental health team or otherwise. Macmillan provide support to cancer sufferers even once recovered. They have a helpline 0808 808 0000,

Home Page - Macmillan Cancer Support

Also worth contacting are Cruse who help with bereavement 0844 477 9400

Telephone support | Cruse Bereavement Care

Please keep posting, we are happy to help. I hope you find the forum useful.

Best wishes, Sarah
 
calypso

calypso

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Jan 5, 2011
Messages
52,738
Location
Lancashire
Sorry to write a simple note here on a complex and serious issue. Please could you and others not put your wife's name into posts as it can identify her and she may not want her real name on here. Thank you - and again sorry to just write a note here. xx
 
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