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Not sure what's going on with me

R

Rer3048

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2018
Messages
3
To begin...I work in mental health which sounds ridiculous as I've no idea what's going on with me. I was very shy when younger and always blushing but this got much better. It got worse again around 3 years ago after a relationship with an abusive partner. I now struggle with blushing a lot more and it makes me really anxious which doesn't help when I'm at uni. I don't like going round to my boyfriend's when he has people round and often tell him I'm not going. This happened tonight and I've been upset since. I struggle to make friends I just don't know how to talk to people or how to get close to people anymore.....the list goes on. I'm scared to tell anyone about all this and I'm 30 years old! I feel ridiculous
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
34,401
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
:welcome:
you are not ridiculous at all ,you are genuinely struggling
im sorry about the difficulties you are having

just wanted to welcome you really and send love
Lu x
 
B

Bogomil

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
484
You are not at all ridiculous. And it takes a lot of courage to speak about your issue. Did you tried to adress to a professional with this things you say? I used to feel the same as you many years ago, including blushing (I still blush for nothing to this very day) and I still have some other problems like this. My parents also used to tell other people that I was very shy (stupid thing from their part, as I was there and hearing all, which convinced me that I am REALLY shy) only to find recently with the help of my psych that I was abused in childhood by my parents. I actually was not shy, I just learned from early childhood to avoid people due to repeated abuses, both physical and emotional, because I didnt wanted to be hurt again. Also, because of the abuses, I fear meeting or talking to people, sometimes even in the most trivial aspects, like buying bread or grocery or calling a taxi.
 
R

Rer3048

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2018
Messages
3
Thank you both.
I haven't spoken to a professional about it as I'm struggling to build up the courage to although have felt like I have needed to for some time. I have told literally no one about this and it has helped letting it out. It has helped to read how many other people have similar problems.
 
B

Bogomil

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
484
Going to speak to a professional is not an easy endeavour. It takes courage to open to a stranger and even more, it takes courage to face the shadows and pain from the own life. It could be painful, to different degree. You dont have to go to a speak to a professional until you feel prepared enough to do so. One will be never prepared 100% to do so, but it will recognise the proper moment to go to a pro.
 
J

Jayjay22

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2018
Messages
3
I really need help

I apologies in advance if I seem like I am going on a bit but I really don’t know what’s going on with me at the moment and I feel like if I can’t understand this then I am going to lose everything. I have always been a very strong person you could say and people have said that I used to thrive on stress and if I was not stressed then I was not happy, a funny thing to say but very true until 9 months ago when I was laying in bed on my own as the wife was away and felt mice crawling all over me. So I done the best thing I could and dragged the mattress down the stairs and threw it onto the drive way at 2am. I sent 2 videos to my wife of the mice in the bed hoping I was not going mad however the videos I send were blank as there were no mice in the bed and it was my imagination. The next day my wife took me to the hospital and I was sectioned because I still thought it was real and I was not going mad. Since then I have really gone down hill, I run a successful business that I have let slip, my family life is slowly being ruined due to the fact I now sleep on the sofa and not my marital bed, I am constantly accusing my wife of cheating on me or playing with herself in bed, I hear voices at night that talk to me, I don’t socialise anymore as I am scared to be around people, I have no get up and go and all I want to do is sleep or just watch the tv.
I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and I am so scared that I panic about everything and that this is going to kill me, I love my wife and my children with all my heart but slowly this is pushing them away. I am struggling to understand how I can go from a very confident and strong man to being like and the only way I can explain it is a child who is scared of everything and everyone.
Please if anyone can help I would really like you help.
One again sorry for going on
 
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