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Not sure what to say...

vanish

vanish

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Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
4,047
Location
The Land of Oz
Not sure what to say really.

I think I might be still depressed following a bout of psychosis which began in February. About two weeks ago I began giving away prized possessions and money. I was ready to do something pretty rash (not sure if I wanted to run away, which I couldn't due to lockdown or if I wanted to make an attempt to end my life - I was very confused). Thing is, I am still struggling with a lot of negative thoughts.

I take a lot of medications and always although my antidepressant was okay, I take Pristiq 200mg for severe depression. I am struggling with motivation a lot and have been self medicating (I guess for a better word) with alcohol off and on (more on than not). I still exercise, but only because I am forced to by my exercise physiologist. I feel sorry for her having a downturn in business with the COVID-19 saga.

I hardly speak to my family, my wife and mother in law yes (because I live with them), but any other family members no. I haven't spoken to my Dad (my only member of my immediate family left) in some time. I miss him but he has me on caller block on his phone so there's not much I can do except wait for him to call. I wrote him a letter once, but my stepmother intercepted it before it got to him unfortunately. She is the woman when I was aged just 12, told me to my face that I should do everyone a favour and kill myself. I have never ever forgotten that.

Sometimes I would if I should do everyone a favour sometimes.

I cry where nobody sees. I lack motivation. I have erratic sleep (either too much or not enough). My anxiety is always through the roof but that is another story.

I see my psychiatrist on 12 May. I am going to beg him to do something I think.
 
P

Princess Zelda

Guest
Hello. I'm really really sorry you're going through all of this stress. I definitely would talk to the doctor about this. Have you tried out therapy? Back when I had a therapist, it helped to talk to someone. Sometimes it helped me realize certain things in life more clearly, or helped me think more positive.

What your stepmother said is not true. Don't listen to her terrible comment. Focus on your life, treat yourself with kindness, and try to stay healthy.

Hoping the best for you!
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
20,978
Location
Nowhere
I agree with Midnight we all want a Vanish to live

and as Princess Zelda says a therapist can help
in a way that a psychiatrist usually doesnt
its amazing what therapy can do

:hug5: 🎼
 
Catty5

Catty5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
3,914
Location
USA
Hi
I feel you since I’ve been living with my horrible mental condition 24/7 for 2 years now. It’s really a lonely fight. Nobody really understands but the one who suffers it. I sometimes thought I want to give up... it’s enough.
I’m glad to hear you’ll see a doc soon.
I hope your doc will re-evaluate your meds you’re on. Let’s try to live one day at a time!!!!!
 
L

Lukcy2019

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
59
Location
UK
Not sure what to say really.

I think I might be still depressed following a bout of psychosis which began in February. About two weeks ago I began giving away prized possessions and money. I was ready to do something pretty rash (not sure if I wanted to run away, which I couldn't due to lockdown or if I wanted to make an attempt to end my life - I was very confused). Thing is, I am still struggling with a lot of negative thoughts.

I take a lot of medications and always although my antidepressant was okay, I take Pristiq 200mg for severe depression. I am struggling with motivation a lot and have been self medicating (I guess for a better word) with alcohol off and on (more on than not). I still exercise, but only because I am forced to by my exercise physiologist. I feel sorry for her having a downturn in business with the COVID-19 saga.

I hardly speak to my family, my wife and mother in law yes (because I live with them), but any other family members no. I haven't spoken to my Dad (my only member of my immediate family left) in some time. I miss him but he has me on caller block on his phone so there's not much I can do except wait for him to call. I wrote him a letter once, but my stepmother intercepted it before it got to him unfortunately. She is the woman when I was aged just 12, told me to my face that I should do everyone a favour and kill myself. I have never ever forgotten that.

Sometimes I would if I should do everyone a favour sometimes.

I cry where nobody sees. I lack motivation. I have erratic sleep (either too much or not enough). My anxiety is always through the roof but that is another story.

I see my psychiatrist on 12 May. I am going to beg him to do something I think.
Hi
I'm very sorry to hear that you are not feeling well!!!! I'm also suffering from severe depression and anxiety and not taking tablets because they didn't work for me. But do you know what? I'm not giving up!!!! you should not give up too. I'm going to share the stuff that works for me and I can relax at least for a short time and hoping that they work for you too!
1- Nice shower - not too hot, not too cold - I would say 3-4 times a day
2- Movie - Watch a nice movie and you will almost forget everything for about 2 hours
3- Pick up the phone and call a friend or a family member. It would be great if call a funny person
4- do you read books? I know when you are depressed you can't really do much but please give it go and read a nice book, the one you like most.
5- lots of water - Try to drink a full glass and when you are drinking try to focus on how this amazing drink (water) clears your body. Focus os the journey that water takes from the time you drink it and the time that you passing urine.
6- Sun - stay in the sun for about 10 to 15 mins. And if it's not sunny, you can try sunbed. This does help me a lot with reducing my depression. I stay in the sun a lot longer than 10 mins.
7- Games - have you got chess at home? If not you can play online. You can play the game you like most, it doesn't have to be chess.
8- Sport - Again I know it's hard to motivate yourself but you don't have to go to the gym. I spend 10-15 mins at home doing push-ups, apps...
9- cooking - Do you cook at all? Cooking relaxes me a lot, and while I'm chopping my veg and frying them I don't think about sadness
10 - last but not least, avoid/reduce alcohol, coffee, sugar, salt, chili.....
Can I ask you a question? What do you do when someone gives you a gift? I'm sure you say that you look after it and love that gift a lot!!! Ok, don't you think that life is a great gift given to you and you should also look after it? So never give up and never destroy the greatest gift given to you!!!
hope this helps!
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
22,326
Location
England
Sorry to hear your struggling Vanish.
We're here for you
Hugs
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
939
Not sure what to say really.

I think I might be still depressed following a bout of psychosis which began in February. About two weeks ago I began giving away prized possessions and money. I was ready to do something pretty rash (not sure if I wanted to run away, which I couldn't due to lockdown or if I wanted to make an attempt to end my life - I was very confused). Thing is, I am still struggling with a lot of negative thoughts.

I take a lot of medications and always although my antidepressant was okay, I take Pristiq 200mg for severe depression. I am struggling with motivation a lot and have been self medicating (I guess for a better word) with alcohol off and on (more on than not). I still exercise, but only because I am forced to by my exercise physiologist. I feel sorry for her having a downturn in business with the COVID-19 saga.

I hardly speak to my family, my wife and mother in law yes (because I live with them), but any other family members no. I haven't spoken to my Dad (my only member of my immediate family left) in some time. I miss him but he has me on caller block on his phone so there's not much I can do except wait for him to call. I wrote him a letter once, but my stepmother intercepted it before it got to him unfortunately. She is the woman when I was aged just 12, told me to my face that I should do everyone a favour and kill myself. I have never ever forgotten that.

Sometimes I would if I should do everyone a favour sometimes.

I cry where nobody sees. I lack motivation. I have erratic sleep (either too much or not enough). My anxiety is always through the roof but that is another story.

I see my psychiatrist on 12 May. I am going to beg him to do something I think.
im sorry youre having such a tough time of late.....depression is awful, have you ever tried St Johns Wort, its a herbal ermedy for treatinfg depression....it might help
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
23,287
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
im sorry youre having such a tough time of late.....depression is awful, have you ever tried St Johns Wort, its a herbal ermedy for treatinfg depression....it might help
St Johns Wort cannot be used with a lot of meds though, theres a lot it clashes with, so if you wants to go down that route @vanish please make sure the doctor is happy with it :hug:
 
Catty5

Catty5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
3,914
Location
USA
St Johns Wort cannot be used with a lot of meds though, theres a lot it clashes with, so if you wants to go down that route @vanish please make sure the doctor is happy with it :hug:
Yes St Jones Wort tends to interact with other things. You’re right.
 
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