• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Not sure what to do sometimes

P

Putford

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Devon
This is my first post.
Most of the time I'm ok but I seem to have very wild mood swings, the smallest thing can upset me and send me down that rabbit hole, sometimes for a few days, sometimes weeks. I think most of the problems stem from my childhood, my mother was an alcoholic, regularly took overdoses, was vicious, nasty and violent towards both me and my sister, we both moved out as soon as we were able. Dad was always supportive but couldn't cope with mums temper and drinking, he found it difficult to deal with and now has bad dementia - partly down to the stresses of trying to look after her. I won't go into too much detail because there's too many memories that won't go away, tempers, never being loved, coming home from school to find mum was inebriated on the sofa, constantly told I was no good for anything, I used to keep out of her way.
I've been on anti-depressants for a few years now. I've had some help from a Psychiatrist, a hypnotherapist and recently done a CBT course, all of which may have helped.
The problem at the moment is - I'm now having to look after my parents (from a distance) and it's difficult, sometimes she's ok, sometimes she twists the knife and gets into my head which upsets me, her family haven't contacted her for years because of her aggression towards them, I don't know how to 'turn off' the feelings of resentment and anger that I have towards her, she knows exactly how to get under my skin, it bothers me and I don't want it to cause issues with my life any more. They have carers to look after them daily and give mum her meds, all I can do is call regularly, listen to her moans, pay the bills, sort out finances, jobs around the house etc - all of which take time and effort - only to get it thrown back in my face when I do help. I drive for 5 hours to see them and she is nasty as soon as I get there. Every time I go I wonder why I bother.
I recently had a 'relapse' and drifted into a dark whole because my wife jokingly made a comment - nothing out of the ordinary, just a bit of a daft thing to say - I've not spoken to her or slept in the same bed for nearly 5 weeks, when I get into that state there doesn't seem to be any going back, I admit being stubborn sometimes - but not wanting to talk for weeks? - Is that normal? Am I insane? I've got a great life, lovely place to live and a nice house, I don't worry about money or paying bills, have a loving wife, basically everything that should make a normal person happy - and I'm sad, depressed and feel at my wits end.
What can I do - if anything?
 
F

Fallingfromthetop

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
157
Location
Slipperyslope
Personally I would let a mum like that rot away until death without caring one bit and not helping one bit.

As for your wife. Feels you both need to apologize to each other, meet half way have a good talk and move on. Tell her your sorry for being away and you wanna try come back, tell her you have it rough with your parent situation and need support rather then stupid comments. Or smth like that myb.
 
P

Putford

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Devon
Thanks, people have advised doing that before and its very tempting to tell her exactly what I think but she'd only then put pressure on my sister, its one or the other!
I'd probably feel guilty too, its not my dads fault and he'd no doubt suffer - she likes to make somebody's life a misery.
 
F

Fallingfromthetop

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 16, 2019
Messages
157
Location
Slipperyslope
Sounds real rough. I doubt there is a way to have a good talk with such a person. Myb try have some family meeting and talk things through. Doesn't really sound like there are any good options but to grind through it though. I'm sorry for you situation.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
R I’m not sure what to do anymore. Depression Forum 1
B Not Sure Depression Forum 14
Hardknocks88 A NOTE TO THE MODERATORS (Do i need to go to therapy again?, i am not sure) Depression Forum 2
H Not sure I will make it to my 23th birthday and I do not want to really Depression Forum 7
HellRider Not sure what to name this lmao Depression Forum 3
Fairy Lucretia im not sure this is appropriate for men to read x Depression Forum 5
R Not sure where this is going. Depression Forum 16
Signofthetimes Confused, asking for advice I think or just reflecting, not sure. Hard day mentally and emotionally. Depression Forum 7
I I am stuck in a rut. Not sure what to do. Depression Forum 5
H At a loss - Not sure what else to try to help depression Depression Forum 6
Beachgirl Depressed boyfriend...not sure what to do. Depression Forum 2
D I'm not sure if I'm suicidal or if I'm just being self destructive Depression Forum 4
R New here, not really sure what I'm doing Depression Forum 4
J Existential "crisis", not sure where to post. Depression Forum 9
Fairy Lucretia im not sure who to trust Depression Forum 6
A I'm at my wit's end, and I'm not sure if I mind. Depression Forum 3
Y not sure how too cope Depression Forum 8
vanish Not sure what to say... Depression Forum 11
D Not sure what is wrong with me Depression Forum 4
H I basically have crippling depression, I don't do anything all day, not sure what to do Depression Forum 3
D Hello.. I need urgent help. I can't really take it anymore and I am not sure if it's depression. Depression Forum 9
U I'm not sure what to do anymore Depression Forum 2
Marta1899 I’m not sure what to do Depression Forum 2
H I’m not sure where to start Depression Forum 2
Fairy Lucretia dead fox ,not sure what to do Depression Forum 7
L Hubby may be depressed? But I don't know for sure... Depression Forum 2
2 im not entirely sure Depression Forum 9
F Not sure if I’m depressed Depression Forum 6
Fairy Lucretia im not sure im safe here Depression Forum 11
S Not sure if it's actually depression Depression Forum 3
sirenserenade Not sure of who I am outside of depression? Depression Forum 3
t_ghost Need help, not sure what to do Depression Forum 4
dreamstate help? im not really sure whats happening, Depression Forum 9
N Not sure how to explain this Depression Forum 7
F Not sure anymore Depression Forum 2
L not sure what's wrong with me anymore Depression Forum 3
D Hi, I'm new and not really sure what I'm doing Depression Forum 4
Dajones I'm not sure about alot of things and it hurts. Depression Forum 3
G Not sure if there's a fix Depression Forum 12
J New to this - was not sure where to post! Depression, stress and anxiety suffering! Depression Forum 3
M Not sure where to start Depression Forum 4
crazypants Not sure where to go from here. Depression Forum 1
E New to the forum. Not sure what I'm here for :/ Depression Forum 4
S Not sure what I am, I argue with my conscience a lot Depression Forum 2
H Not sure how to carry on Depression Forum 2
S New here and not sure posting in the right group - depression/self harm Depression Forum 3
S Not sure what is going on Depression Forum 3
W I'm not sure where all this will end up.... My story Depression Forum 2
S Not Sure What's going on... Depression Forum 1
K Not sure where to begin Depression Forum 8

Similar threads

Top