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Not sure what is wrong

S

Someone564

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Ohio
I am going to try my best to explain myself and what I deal with and if anyone can give some advice or anything that is fine. I might go a little bit off topic or something, so bare with me. lol.

Since I was a kid I was always a shy person and very nervous. I don't talk a lot and when I do I sometimes can get really wound up feeling and I can't calm down and start rambling on and on. I have really bad social anxiety and don't even like posting this, but am going to anyways. My heart is usually always racing and my head hurts a lot and my hands are super wet and sweaty. I get bad bathroom issues sometimes from feeling like I can't calm down. In life I get no real enjoyment and usually just feel sad or anxious. When I watch movies or play video games I get this nasty feeling eventually that builds up and my heart pounds unreal and I end up getting chest pains. Usually I end up going to the bathroom from it and then I feel very tired and usually sleep. I get this overwhelming heart race and hot feeling every single day when I clean my room or take showers and it usually lasts until I go to bed. From this feeling I usually sleep long in order for my stomach to not hurt and be upset, it seems like it gives me bad stomach and bathroom issues. I have ocd I would say and am very neat and have items in certain ways and have patterns I guess you can say every day that I do. I usually shower the exact same way every time, if I don't I'm kinda uncomfortable. I overthink like crazy and can't remember doing things sometimes after I do them so I do them again. I do the same things every day and browse on my computer looking at usually the same things.

This all got way worse after a fist fight with my father. I feel way worse and always sad and it made the heart racing stuff fully take over and I can't seem to ever feel calm or normal anymore. All I feel is sad and like something is wrong and I hate myself for feeling these things. I have tried to contact a local mental health place and I eventually got a case worker and they gave me some medication called Paxil which made me feel "manic" and terrible. The place really didn't help at all to begin with and I found it a waste of time so I stopped calling them and quit the meds after 3 weeks of feeling nasty.

My diet is decent and I am 5'11 about 140 lbs so kind of skinny. I have tried multiple supplements and vitamins over the years and most make me feel sick or make my bathroom issues way worse. I am still living at home with my parents at age 28, unemployed and hardly do anything anymore. I don't enjoy anything and just waste every day doing things that I don't care about like watching youtube or twitch or browsing websites.

I have tried diet changes, exercise, dating, not using electronics, and even went to a food allergy doctor and had a colonoscopy and everything was fine. I got my blood tested too and eventually they told me to see a nutritionist which I didn't because I eat fine.

If anyone feels these things or has any advice please post.
 
Lugnut

Lugnut

Member
Joined
Oct 18, 2020
Messages
10
Location
At home
Just from what you've said it does sound like there's a lot of anxiousness in your life, you may already know so excuse me if you do but heart racing, sweating, over heating, and upset stomachs are symptoms of anxiety caused by an increase of certain chemicals in your body that are released in stressful situations, I think cortisol and adrenaline are the main ones but I could be wrong. If you're exposed to these chemicals through prolonged stress it can really affect your body and mental health so it's no wonder you're having a difficult time, well done for reaching out though I know it's difficult. I am by no means an expert though so please take anything I say with a grain of salt :)

I'd like to ask a few questions if you don't mind. It's interesting that you mention games and movies in particular give you this sore chest, anxious feeling - is there a reason these activities in particular make you feel this way? Same with having hot showers and cleaning you room, is it just the physical exertion that you think is causing these feelings or something underlying, perhaps a memory attached to those activities or something else? If you're able to understand why you feel the way you do during these things it can help to see what could be done to lessen the anxiousness, or even just knowing can sometimes help enough to just be aware of what's going on and give you back some feeling of control. If you're genuinely not sure that's okay too, it can be difficult to understand why we do certain things and feel certain ways.

It also sounds like you've got a difficult home life - I'm guessing that it's been quite difficult staying at home and if you and your dad don't get along that makes things harder too which will be contributing to the anxiousness. I don't feel like it's appropriate for me to try and give any advice on this but try not to hate yourself for feeling sad or anything else - remember that all of our emotions serve their own purpose and you are feeling this way for a reason, we've just got to figure out what that reason is and work on it but it's not your fault and it's not bad that you're feeling sad or as if something's wrong, it just means that there is something not quite right at the moment.

In terms of diet and stuff, I worked out your BMI and it's 19.5 so you're quite close to being underweight as a healthy BMI is anywhere between 18.5-24.9. When you say you're eating fine, has that been something you know for certain because you researched it or have been given a diet guideline before, or are you guessing? It can be quite difficult to get all the nutrients we need in this day and age because of how much sugar and crap is put into everything so if you are able I would really recommend seeing a dietitian still because if you are physically very healthy then your mental health tends to improve too.

I would also recommend if you're able, maybe once every other day or once a week, whatever you feel comfortable with - try something you haven't done in a while that you used to enjoy if you can remember anything. If not, see what you've got around and give something a try like writing, drawing, going for a short walk, maybe even looking out the window to observe nature for a while. If hobby stuff doesn't interest you so much you could try something like cooking a snack or folding washing, it could help you with these feelings of wasting your time by breaking the norm every now and then. If you find you're not enjoying yourself you don't have to continue but it can feel good to try new things and you're being productive by figuring out what you do and don't like.

It does sound like you have done heaps to try and help yourself already though and that's good, even if it hasn't helped at least you now know what doesn't work and hopefully that takes you closer to getting the answers you need. If its any consolation, sometimes stuff like exercise just doesn't work for certain people, it never did anything for me either :rolleyes:
 
S

Someone564

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Ohio
I'd like to ask a few questions if you don't mind. It's interesting that you mention games and movies in particular give you this sore chest, anxious feeling - is there a reason these activities in particular make you feel this way? Same with having hot showers and cleaning you room, is it just the physical exertion that you think is causing these feelings or something underlying, perhaps a memory attached to those activities or something else? If you're able to understand why you feel the way you do during these things it can help to see what could be done to lessen the anxiousness, or even just knowing can sometimes help enough to just be aware of what's going on and give you back some feeling of control. If you're genuinely not sure that's okay too, it can be difficult to understand why we do certain things and feel certain ways.

It also sounds like you've got a difficult home life - I'm guessing that it's been quite difficult staying at home and if you and your dad don't get along that makes things harder too which will be contributing to the anxiousness.

When you say you're eating fine, has that been something you know for certain because you researched it or have been given a diet guideline before, or are you guessing?
A lot of things in general do the feeling, games and movies do, including driving, music sometimes, hunting, four wheeling, etc. I can't really explain it, but it's like my body is slowed down feeling and when I do any of these activities it feels like it speeds me up to the point my body is psychically reacting and my body can't calm down. I will for instance run on the treadmill and my heart and body is racing even an hour later and I can't think straight due to not feeling calm. Music I listen to and eventually it makes my heart race and I have to stop and just do nothing. Games I can play slow paced ones, any fast ones I stay far away from due to the last fps I tried, I felt like I was going to die in real life. They all seem to have the same feeling in common where I get overwhelmed and my heart races and I literally have to leave my room or what I'm doing. It builds up and is not instant so I think it's anxiety? I wonder why I get it from literally everything though.

Home life wasn't great, but the fight did make me have a lot of weird problems. I always think a fight will happen, I'm always on edge feeling and can't focus at all on anything and usually end up doing things multiple times. Even something like washing my hands. Any time I hear someone talk louder, even in public my mind and body prepare for the worst, but I know that nothing usually will happen and I can't stop my body from reacting this way. My Dad can just walk into my room and my heart races I forget what I was doing and I feel nasty uncomfortable. A lot of times my thoughts are telling me fights are going to happen and not to say or do things. There is probably more, but this is just a few things I've noticed.

I try to eat good foods like chicken, veggies, fruits, and stuff. I'm not really sure if I eat enough, but I eat every time I am hungry, and I eat decent foods. My mother usually cooks for the whole family and that's what I usually eat. I have had my blood tested and stuff they said nothing was low and to see a nutritionist so I'm guessing that I was healthy.
 
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