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Not sure what is wrong with me

K

KhaosOP

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
2
Hi Everyone, I'm looking for a bit of help because I'm supposed to be experiencing one of the happiest times of my life but all I want to do is stay locked away by myself.

I have a 7 month old son, at first everything was great but over the last 2 months as he's got more aware of things around I find myself feeling less connected to him and more distant. Myself and his mum are no longer together and I'm finding myself making excuses up not to go through to pick him up, when I do have him I feel like he doesn't want to be with me, like I'm keeping him from somewhere he'd rather be and I know that's silly with him only being 7 months old.

I'm feeling affected in other ways though now, I feel like I'm not enough and nothing I do will ever be enough for him, like I don't love him enough and this is then making me feel guilty which is causing other effects.

Because I feel so guilty for not wanting him I'm feeling down, I feel worthless and useless, like he'd be better off with someone else has a father. I'd contemplated suicide because I think he deserves not to have me in his life.

I'm not eating even though I feel so hungry, I'm not sleeping even though I'm exhausted, I can't concentrate on anything especially at work which is bad in my career and I have a constant head ache.

I feel absolutely horrible about not seeing the boy but I physically can't bring myself to waste his time.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Khaos, :welcome: to the Forum. Do you think you could be projecting your feeings about breaking up with the child's mom onto the boy ?? Transferring your feelings onto a 7 month old baby is truly bad for the child.

This is your son and he looks up to you. He is the wellspring of love. Let that love infect your being.
 
K

KhaosOP

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
2
Thanks for the welcome,

No I don't think so, we were only together 11 weeks and to be honest she made my life pretty miserable, the reason we split up is she tried to stop me from having a life outside the relationship and i couldn't live like that.

Truth is I never wanted to be a parent, it's never really been something on my agenda in life.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Truth is I never wanted to be a parent, it's never really been something on my agenda in life.

Adjusting to the idea that you are a parent for life, that is a big adjustment. No wonder you can't eat or sleep, this was a surprise for you, not a planned event.
 
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