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not sure what i am feeling... is this anxiety ?

B

Bambalina

Guest
hi.....
i think i am feeling anxiety buy i am not sure... i have BPD... WITH OCD about relationships... particularly men...
but i have has a bad run of luck recently trying to conncet with men and the latest one who is not even my type is making me feel anxious because i cant read him...he is interverted and i am extraverted person... he thinks i am too invase if i ask personal questions...
all we do is make small talk.. i find this boring.. but i cant help but blame myself even though my rational mind is telling ... I am too good for him... i cant help feel rejected because he is a male...
this is a reoccurring theme of mine and i am supposed to be doing cbt/dbt with a psychologist... but its not working... i have a learning difficulty which i believe is making it hard for me to make progress.. i have had 5/6 yeard therapy... but still keep messing up my relationships with me... its like i need constant approval/ validation..
i have been looking up about attachment styles... mine would appear to be anxious attachement... I had an over bearing mother who was alcoholic and a domineering control freck dad who was unemotional and violent..

but because i have BPD... AND cyclothemia my emtions are wearing me down and i cant function on a daily basis... i need to because i have an adult asperger son who needs me...:scratcheshead::panic:
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,im sorry you are still struggling so much
x
have you decided what to do about your relationship yet? seems like this is still causing you lots of stress
x
the therapy should be helping a little ,its dbt you are having? maybe a different kind of therapy would be more beneficial?
sending love and hugs
x
 
V

voyager

Guest
Hi

Are you on the right meds?

I struggled for years on SSRIs, I then came across a junior doctor training in mental health psychiatry and he put me on clomipramine, it is a tricyclic for depression, but also helps with alleviating anxiety. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was on seroxat, but clomipramine made me feel much better. I know we are different, but just a thought. Hope this helps :whistle:
 
D

deadflowers

Guest
Maybe you could explain some of this to him?? Maybe if he knew some of the things you were feeling and what you are needing he would express himself more??

I'm sorry that you have so much going on for you. It all sounds very tough =( xxxx
 
B

Bambalina

Guest
hi ,im sorry you are still struggling so much
x
have you decided what to do about your relationship yet? seems like this is still causing you lots of stress
x
the therapy should be helping a little ,its dbt you are having? maybe a different kind of therapy would be more beneficial?
sending love and hugs
x
I have not started DTB... there is a waiting list of two years would you believe...appeartly i just have to wait it out even thought i have been struggleing eith this behaviour for 10 years...
 
B

Bambalina

Guest
Maybe you could explain some of this to him?? Maybe if he knew some of the things you were feeling and what you are needing he would express himself more??

I'm sorry that you have so much going on for you. It all sounds very tough =( xxxx
I have tried been open and explained things a bit but its not a relationship... its was dating then he said he felt clausterphobic by me asking questions so he dumpted me. then i got paranoid and test him every day so we went out for a drink... he offered coffee durning the day... i insisted on a drink as i wanted to go out on the town... it was painfull... he told me that he felt our conversation was more relaxed this time because i didnt ask so many questions... i delibertly didnt ask questions made small talk... i was so bored i kept looking at the other wonam in the room and how beautiful they were... that was 13 days ago... i asked him when i see him again... he told me he was busy till next wednesday week... that was on tuesday gone by... he only works 3 days a week...is it me or is the guy a freck ???
 
D

deadflowers

Guest
I don't think that he is a feck, I think he is playing that as he doesn't want you to be full on and seem so attached really - I imagine it worries him a bit.

I think you need to bring this up in your therapy, and what issue it really is for you. With regards to him, the more you play it cool the better? I know it sounds a bit playground, but there is a lot to be said for 'treat um mean-keep um keen' approach sometimes lol If you seem less interested then it could make him think that he might lose you so could become more interested?? Also, get another love interest aswell-it's a good detraction if nothing else =) I shouldn't be advising you to be so childish, but .....

xxxxxx
 
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