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Not sure what do

U

utter madness

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Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
It's been a while since I posted but I feel a bit stuck basically for the last couple of months I've been struggling not sleeping as my mind going at 100 miles an hour I constantly here voices talking singing songs and chatting all the time it's a nitemare my mood goes I'd say very mixed feeling high and low together I could never get the pdoc to believe that I'm very guarded to what I present and show to them as they've let me down in the past so I don't know if I should go c my gp as I don't trust them very much but I don't think I can tk these extreme mood swings of feeling like I can fly to wanting to tk something to hurt myself I've got so much power I go from feeling super confident to being very paranoid I end up cleaning my house constantly the thought of being bk in the mh system fills me with dread I just don't know what I'm going do
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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Location
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I think you definitely need to talk to someone.
Ideally your psychiatrist should be someone to talk to.
I can understand being a bit guarded around them - I often find it hard to really give them a true picture of what goes on for me. It's not exactly the most relaxing situation to be in.
But it sounds to me as if you've been having a really difficult time and for quite a while now. From what you've said you are dealing with a lot and it's understandable if you're at a point where you can't take any more.
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Thanks for ur reply is keep getting up each morning thinking I will mk that appointment with the gp but I get so anxious I can't breathe I keep thinking I've got through another day without the mh services so why bother it's just pure fear and anxiety I've lived my life in this bubble for the last yr it was some sort it protection trying not to let people in it was easy to cope that way sticking my head on the sand I suppose I'm still undecided on what I.ll do just try to get through tonight tho
 
R

ricko4

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Dec 7, 2014
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179
i have just been offered a new job literally about 10mins ago i really want to take it all i have to do is ring the man and i start monday but i cant ring him i want to but i cant need to give myself a good fucking shake frustrating not the word
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Yeah I understand what your meaning I've got a constant thought about certain things not been clean in my house almost an obsession it's constantly doing that also walking the dog I've got a fair bit of energy feels amazing I want to keep it suppose I'm relastic never used to be I know it's an un natural high won't last when I was younger I wodnt have care let it get at it's worst end up being sectioned not good I try keep busy through the day I get very creative buy loads of couring books I'm scared I lose that I'd hate that
 
T

tiltawhirl3

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Oct 30, 2010
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Location
Bristol TN
I always dread seeing someone new in the MH field, it is such a crap shoot.

But mixed states are the worst and at these times, I must have medication.

I hope you can find a good psychiatrist and be open and honest with them.
They can't really give you the help you need if they know only parts of the problem.
 
U

utter madness

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Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
The old pdoc was the problem he treated me very badly took all my meds away said there was nothing wrong just my personality even tho he admitted I suffer from elation but he refused to treat it I lost the head with him on a number of occasions I couldn't tk it ne more I got a change this 1 seems better haven't seen him in a year tho he won't treat my symptoms either no mood stabilisers what the old pdoc done to me has stuck I got fed up trying to convince them seems a waste of energy won't hold my breathe that.ll change in a hurry
 
P

pennerak

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Dec 16, 2014
Messages
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Location
Ontario, Canada
One thing Ive learned with the mh system is you have to be persisant. If you feels docs have failed you, either try a new one oe take on your recovery yourself. Any outpatient mh courses where you are? The hospitals here offer them. Research research research! Any therapy twchniques counsellors and docs are going to use, you can access yourself. Systems are flawed and designed to allow people to slip through cracks, I know, Ive been there, but year after year struggle after struggle I am still here and know life will get better. Maybe meds are an option as well. Continuous use of meds is the key. Anyway, keep your chin up and opportunities willarise.
 
U

utter madness

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2012
Messages
175
Aww thanks for that I'm on Risperidone right now if ne thing I feel more high than ever feel invincible just waiting on my pdoc appt now
 
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