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Not sure what cause my anxiety

O

Ogmig

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Messages
1
I decided that i couldn't deal with my problems by myself any longer so i am gonna seek help with a doctor likely in the next few days. I am not looking for a diagnosis here but as my symptoms are related to a lot of mental issues i always been unable to pinpoint the specific cause and as the first doctor i will meet won't be a mental health specialist i tough it would help if i could get to know myself better first.

I could make this thread 3 pages long but i won't, i'm just gonna post bullets points.


Been severely anxious for as far i can remember, even in elem school. (Cry for no reason, wouldn't answer phone, would make friend, no enjoyment from "fun activity") I just sat in my room by myself

Mainly as a child i had compulsive behavior (Such as always looking in the same corner of a room)

Very strong anxiety feeling in my gut in all situation so i just learned to cope with it. I used to force myself to do thing but i just felt no enjoyment in my daily life. I usually feel relaxed the first few minutes when i wake up in the morning but slowly the anxiety always creep back. I had anxiety even on breaks, on sunny day at the beach with my friends.

A lot of ADD (inattentive) symptoms such as no feeling of reward, procrastination, not focusing on anything. If there are 5 differents persons having a conversation in a room i try to listen to all of them at once, i have trouble focusing on the person talking to me

All this feeling of disconnect and anxiety sometime cause some schizophrenia symptoms to creep up. Paranoia is common when i'm down (and i'm down a lot). Since i'm so used to not listen to people and finish their sentence out of context i sometime make up conversations in my head that did not happen based on people talking around me or sometime just a noise will trigger some "fake conversation". It's never positive and even though i know it's bullshit my "gut" confirm me something is bad with this permanent anxiety.

Finally, even though i feel like i lack the energy to do anything and i try to sleep alot i am restless. I'm always agitated, moving my leg or my body in very unnatural way to compensate some unconfortable feeling. I always sit in rocking chair or chairs that allow free movement and i prefer standing up or sitting on the ground to sit in a chair that won't let me move.

So really i don't know, is it a lack or depamine/serotinin causing this? Do i have Add? I am just depressed and those are the symptoms or is my depression caused by all of this? Somehow my childhood being a big anxiety episode my bet always been on the "physical" cause as no matter what i do or fixe in my live it is not going away. Some of my symptoms also seem to contradict each other when i look them up online. Also i know a lot of people with ADD or such problem self-medicate with marijuana, to be honest i tried but i get the worst panic attack and schizoid episode when i smoke so i stopped and never looked back.

As i said i'm not looking for a diagnosis, i'm not even sure a specialist could pinpoint my problem and i expect some trial-error from here. However i'm looking for similar experience maybe. What worked, what didn't that kind of stuff.

Thank you for reading this far =)
 
W

Waverunner

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
2,092
Wow, you have been quite articulate in your post. I agree with your though about seeing the doctor. Perhaps print off your post to give to the dr as this will help in getting you the right support. I wish you luck!
 
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