Not sure if it's actually depression

S

shep

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2019
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2
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In Your Heart
#1
As the title states, I have no idea anymore. I don't know if what I am is happy or sad or something else. Sometimes it feels like the answer is right there and I have everything figured out. A good deal of the time, actually.

And even when I'm not in this sort of mindset I'm usually not feeling bad. It's just a confused mess where I don't understand anything? If that makes sense. Everything is sort of "meh".

I often think about death, which seems like something that a mentally healthy person wouldn't do so often, or at all.

I tried going to a therapist but it didn't really seem to help at all. I had a hard time opening up and being honest about things, and most of the time we didn't even really focus on the things that were really bothering me. In the end, the therapist thought I wasn't depressed. I stopped going because of extraneous situations. When that was over, I wanted to try again with a different (3rd) therapist, but my mom said I shouldn't because it wasn't "bad enough" and I should wait until I "really need it". I'm not sure what that means, and it's made me doubt my condition. Because I'm not sad enough. I know my mom just has my best in mind, but I don't know if I can open up to her again after what she said. The first time was hard enough.

I just want answers. I understand this isn't a place for diagnosis, but the country I'm in is very limited in terms of resources and I don't know what else to do. It feels like everyone around me agrees that I'm fine, and I should be fine, but there's this lingering feeling in the back of my mind that maybe I'm not. I don't know what to trust.

Sorry if this was rambly.
 
P

Pink1234

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
148
Location
UK
#2
:welcome:

Maybe consider whether you may be overly anxious, rather than depressed.
 
S

shep

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2019
Messages
2
Location
In Your Heart
#3
:welcome:

Maybe consider whether you may be overly anxious, rather than depressed.
I've considered the possibility, but I don't think it's anxiety. The symptoms don't really line up, especially when considering the fact that I'm just more apathetic than anything else. Thank you for the suggestion, though.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
55
Location
Philippines
#4
It would do you good to find your purpose or mission in life. Spending your time pursuing or doing your purpose or passion will help you live e meaningful, lovely and happy life.

The Supreme beinf wants you to be happy. And you can be happy once again. You may read the small ebook BE HAPPY AGAIN. Do things that will make you happy such us listening to good music, watching movie and doing your hobbies. It will also do you good when you help others. Again, choose to be happy.
 

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