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Not sure if I’m depressed

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Fear

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Pomona
Hi, I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I don’t think I accept death anymore. Like when I was young I knew I could’ve died at a younger age. Say I’m 14 years old on August 5 and I know I could’ve died August 6 and so forth. I still accepted it and continue being happy. As I grew older though, I don’t know what happened, suddenly I don’t accept it. Everyday I feel fear about it gonna happen one day or maybe I’m depressed? I don’t feel sad like wanting to cry or self harm or anything but I’m not happy anymore or at least I don’t think I am. I used to like going to Mexico a lot and when time got closer to the date of going, I used to be outgoing having like that happy butterfly feeling in my stomach knowing I was gonna hang with my cousins and friends over there. Those feelings that make you not mind or even active in doing things you hate doing, like that outgoing feeling because you’re so happy and excited. I even built a house over there because I like going over there. Once they finished building it, I fainted and my life changed. I don’t accept death, I think about how each and every single day I’m getting closer to death and I’m afraid. I see my cousins who are older than me and they love life. If I don’t like going to Mexico anymore, why am I stressed about it or even mad that “I don’t like going.”? Shouldn’t I not mind if I hate it now? If it’s because of doing things different like going and try new places or things, places I always wanted to visit, I still feel like sluggish even thinking of the new places. I have a cousin who’s daughter fainted as well and it seems like it was for the same reason as mine, and lives still happily like she never fainted because like how they told me, the faint didn’t mean anything. Do I hate the things I used to like or is it that it can be depression and that’s affecting me to hate things I used to like. Do I still like going to Mexico and things are just going in my mind right now? Man, what is it or could it be that I feel like scared of life? Will I could’ve been the same if it wasn’t for that faint. Well it didn’t happen after the faint. Couple years before I had some sort chest burn but u still feel happy. I wonder how it can go away after realizing death can occur. I don’t know anymore. Just fear of death but I can’t stop thinking of it.

Thanks
 
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Charliedragonfly

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
43
Location
England
If you have a fear of death, that sounds like some sort of phobia/anxiety issue.

Talking about it with people who are willing to listen might help you with this.

Judging by what you've said, I think it's unlikely that you are describing depression.

If anxious thoughts/worries are becoming an issue for you, that's when it becomes a problem that is worth sorting out.

I would recommend that you try not to focus on every symptom you experience, I used to do that and look where that got me!! :rolleyes:

Hugs
:grouphug:
 
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Fear

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Pomona
Thanks lol yea, man I wonder. Unless I’m still happy but who knows lol. Thanks and I do talk with others about it. Just comparing answers
 
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Charliedragonfly

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2019
Messages
43
Location
England
It's okay! Sorry, reading my reply again I sound super dismissive! Who am I to say I don't think you're depressed? Ignore me, lol. It's good that you're talking to others about it, I hope you get any help that you deserve :)
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
As Charliedragonfly says, it could be anxiety, a phobia.
Or something else completely.

You sound so sad and confused.

Have you ever been on medication or had therapy.
No need to answer if you feel like that is intrusive.

I hope you can find something that helps,

Take care.
 
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Fear

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Pomona
As Charliedragonfly says, it could be anxiety, a phobia.
Or something else completely.

You sound so sad and confused.

Have you ever been on medication or had therapy.
No need to answer if you feel like that is intrusive.

I hope you can find something that helps,

Take care.
Yea I am seeing a psychiatrist but no medications lol. It’s funny because it started out of the blues, being afraid of death in myself and loved ones. Thanks
 
F

Fear

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Pomona
It's okay! Sorry, reading my reply again I sound super dismissive! Who am I to say I don't think you're depressed? Ignore me, lol. It's good that you're talking to others about it, I hope you get any help that you deserve :)
No it wasn’t. I just need to learn to accept it like how I used to. Knowing, forgetting and continue loving life. Especially since there were no reason for me to act like this. Thanks for the reply and help
 
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