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Not sure if anxiety is the problem

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Cedric A

Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Belgium
Hey everyone, my name is Cédric i am 20 years old and i live in Belgium.
In november 2018 my younger sister had a suicide attempt.
She lived with me and my dad at the time.
Since it happened she went to go live with my mom.
I talk to her regularly and I realize more than ever that i love her.
I was depressed for about 8-10 months and felt no emotion unless i was drunk.
I got out of the depression i think but not all my problems are history.
I will start off by saying i love my dad more than anyone, but my relationship with him is screwed it seems and i don’t know why.
The worsed part is that it seems like i am at fault.
In the 8 months i was depressed i couldn’t see or hear him!
If he was sweeping the hallway i felt like i was ready to get super angry at him, just because i heard him in my vicinity.
I never did get angry at him but he can tell how i feel i think.
I also can’t look him in the eye for more than 3 seconds when we talk.
I noticed i have the eye-contact problem with some random other people aswell which seemed anxiety related, but me and my dad we live together...
My dad has been through so much in his life and now with his daughter...
I just don’t want to add to his problems or make him feel like i would think it’s his fault this happened but i just feel like i’m subconciously mad at him.

Anyway thank you for reading any advice would be apreciated
Also i’m from Belgium so sorry about my english.
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
572
Location
England
I am sorry your family has had a hard year, but I am glad to hear you are feeling better in yourself.
It sounds to me like you have guilt from when you were unwell. What is it that makes you feel your relationship with your father is 'screwed'? Have you tired to sit down and talk to him about how you feel?
You have a family who loves you ♡ you cant assume your dad knows how you felt if you didnt ever speak to him about it. You need to drop that guilt. You are out of the worst of your depression now! Well done! It takes strength to recover and you are clearly well on the road to recovery!
Do you have the opportunity to speak to a therapist about how you feel?
Try and spend positive time with your dad. Do things you enjoy together, go for a walk, play a game, watch your favourite movie... reconnect. You spent 8 months unwell, it is likely your dad is worried to approach you because of what happend with your sister?
I'm sorry if this seems wrong advice, I am making assumptions from what you have said ♡
 
C

Cedric A

Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Belgium
I am sorry your family has had a hard year, but I am glad to hear you are feeling better in yourself.
It sounds to me like you have guilt from when you were unwell. What is it that makes you feel your relationship with your father is 'screwed'? Have you tired to sit down and talk to him about how you feel?
You have a family who loves you ♡ you cant assume your dad knows how you felt if you didnt ever speak to him about it. You need to drop that guilt. You are out of the worst of your depression now! Well done! It takes strength to recover and you are clearly well on the road to recovery!
Do you have the opportunity to speak to a therapist about how you feel?
Try and spend positive time with your dad. Do things you enjoy together, go for a walk, play a game, watch your favourite movie... reconnect. You spent 8 months unwell, it is likely your dad is worried to approach you because of what happend with your sister?
I'm sorry if this seems wrong advice, I am making assumptions from what you have said ♡
Thank you for replying
I think you are right about theraphy tho i should definitely try that but its quite exspensive and i will have to look for a job first.. about the other stuff yeah my dad and i still do alot together but its just not the same
 
C

Cedric A

Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Belgium
Thank you, i wil definitely check it out.
I have been doing a lot of research online on mental health and i feel like i learned alot about myself.

Its kind of hard to explain but you just know when a relationship is good or not in subtle things.
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
572
Location
England
Maybe your dad can just feel your worry and doesn't want to approach you for fear of upsetting you? You should have a good chat with him about how you feel ♡
 
C

Cedric A

Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Belgium
I know you are right about talking to him because we have talked on several occasion's and it helped.

But we somehow just fall into the same pattern of living apart from each other while we live together. (idk the expression in English)

I will have to go to a therapist eventually I think and get myself sorted out.

Thank you for reading and helping me.
 
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