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Not sure I want to stop

Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
i have a appointment next friday ! i really don't now what to expect, but it took 2 months to get the courage to make the appointment. kind of excited and scared at the same time.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
4,071
Location
California
Hi Racer, that's great. Hope all goes well. xo 💗
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
thank you ! i feel like it is my last hope, i don't want to keep doing the things i have been doing
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
i didn't want to drink today. I had 3 beers today, walked to a bar by my house, didn't drive, trying not to over drink. i think i did it out of boredom. i have to work tomorrow morning, really hoping to get some sleep tonight
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
i had 5 drinks today, i don't lie counting drinks, but i am really trying to stay in control. i read a post earlier that said " healing also means taing an honest look at the role you are playing in your own suffering" i really needed to read that, i have been in such a self destruction mode , i want to heal, i am still trying to learn how, first session is next friday. i want to try to stay somewhat sober until then.
 
Bod

Bod

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Jul 19, 2021
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5,964
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Feel OK
trying to stay positive, but this damn captcha thing [email protected]!! i just want to read a pm, but i can''t !!! i am going to loose it !!!!1
Hi Racer those captcha things do my head in when I get them on a different forum I use and I feel like screaming WTF.
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
sometimess i just can't take the little things like that, trying to work on that. i feel positive today, at least for now.
 
Bod

Bod

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Jul 19, 2021
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Feel OK
It is always the little small things that really get my goat right up sadly, and still do.
 
T

trabian

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Spain
Only getting about 3 hours of sleep if I drink. but extreme nightmares.
Hello Racer, I'm having periods of insomnia too, and also used way too much alcohol to get to sleep. My personal recipe now is a brisk chilly walk just before going to bed to get the heart really pumping, and pop a 0.5mg Xanax (Alprazolam) as I'm on my way home again. It kicks in in about 15min, and I fall into bed and sleep 7 hours straight. If I remember any dreams they aren't nightmares as before.
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
thank you trabian, i need to try something, but i am really afraid of meds, i need to get over that, i know some meds might be helpful.
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
i had 5 drinks today, not too bad, really trying to not over drink. really worried about my first therapy session next friday, i don't want the anxiety to make me drink more.
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
only 4 drinks today ! i am ready for tomorrow !! i can't remember the last time i felt like that !
 
Racer

Racer

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Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
441
Location
Florida
only 2 drinks today !! really feels good. i am off work tomorrow, i need to get myself out of the house , now if i can only sleep tonight
 

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