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Not sure about BPD

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Bobbyewing

Active member
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
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28
Location
Dublin
I was given this diagnosis sometime ago. I have never fully accepted it. I can be highly sensitive and sometimes controlling.
But I have had stable relationships for the most part. Held down jobs.
I have had addictions. Shoplifting, booze and gambling. Not in any particular order.
I just think terminology can be quite simplistic and doesn't capture the entire person.
I have a book drop the disorder I intend to read sometime soon that argues they are too simplistic and perhaps unhelpful.
The terminology.
I'm not doing badly these days. I drink much less. The stealing is an issue. Please don't tell me the risks. I'm 47. I know the risks. Have been caught. I know its wrong.
I know I have an issue with emotional regulation. But I teach and despite daily provoking I handle myself OK.
It's just when I drink I find it harder to regulate.
I know this text is rambling and it's hard to see the point of it but I just had to write it.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
714
Location
US
I agree completely that these labels do not capture us and in some ways can be harmful. I've been given the wrong diagnosis 3 different times, so how do we know? Well, the criteria, I know...but it seems like they are diagnosing BPD more lately, I'd hate to say the new "trend" and that the definition is a bit more flexible than it used to be. They focus more on it meaning you don't fit into any one category, which is true of most people, I would think. But you're not DEF this or that. So BPD may be getting thrown around a bit loosely, like the term bipolar. (I love all these tv shows etc. that refer to anyone with strong emotions in a laughing way as bipolar, btw.) Anyway, I'd get a second opinion before starting any specific treatment if I were you. I agree that doctors throw this stuff out there, these terms and drugs, after a 30 minute appointment or something.

From what you said in your post, you don't strike me as having BPD at all. Stable relationships and jobs is huge. For it to be a personality disorder, it usually means it has strongly affected these things. And having strong emotions or addictions may mean you blur into some other category that has to do with being impulsive. Whatever the case, I agree with you that these labels only do so much, perhaps suggest the best approach to treatment, but def don't fit everyone or encapsulate who we are fully.

I'll add that I just recently "acknowledged" that I truly have BPD after having diagnoses of bipolar and bipolar II among other things. It's really gotten me down, as I know it has such a bad reputation re personality as well as outlook of treatment. It was a hard pill to swallow. Labels.
 
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Dagoon

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Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
152
Location
Np20
I can understand the labels. Im not great with them. But unfortunately the powers that be like everything to fit into safe little boxes and if it doesn't fit they trim the edges until it does. Where does that leave us? People think borderline personality disorder is a joke, and because of that they dont take it seriously. Ive been told that its untreatable and basically get on with it. There is no help. So living a life of mood swings and hell is something we have to deal with alone. People with this illness are more likely to take their own life because of no help. My doctor doesn't have a clue!!! No clue. Its tiresome. Very tiresome.
 
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Bobbyewing

Active member
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
28
Location
Dublin
I want to thank you both. I really appreciate your replies. I was beginning to lose hope on getting any replies.
Dragon I have found dialectic behaviour therapy good. Might be worth a shot.
When I say good. I got a book on it.
Mental health services in Ireland are shit to put it mildly.
Even the therapists I have paid for are not that great. We didn't connect.
One of the things I have found great is buddhism. Secular buddhism. In particular a book by Robert Wright - why buddhism is true.
It might sound left field but it has taught me not to see my emotions as not the entire me. Just passing clouds. Wright's book links in with modern psychology.
I hope to talk to you both again. I really appreciate the replies.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
714
Location
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Good book recommendation, will def look into it. Buddhism helped me sooo much, and DBT helped so much, I can't even say. Just started it again this week. I was fortunate to know the woman who started it, Marsha Linehan, as she is at the university I attended, and I'm able to see the students she taught. Her books are excellent, and she is an amazing soul.

So keep at it, BPD is not fun, but you can live a decent life with it. DBT teaches skills that I learned 10 years ago and still use every day. The most effective therapy I have gotten, and it makes a lot of sense. There are DBT resources online as well now, it's really gained steam over the years, so I hope you can find something that helps you with that. (if not message me, I may be able to help with some resources).
 
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Bobbyewing

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Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
28
Location
Dublin
Thanks seattle. I'm concentrating at keeping the booze at bay plus occasional shoplifting. Once I get them under wraps will move back to DBT.
They started as mechanisms to deal with stress and alienation but have taken on lives of their own now.
The Robert Wright book is brillant. Well worth it on the audio too. Amazon audio
 
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Dagoon

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Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
152
Location
Np20
I can't drink. Its dangerous for me I loose myself. So if I ever drink I only have one and I fill it up with lemonade. Im in my first EVER long term relationship and thats because I have to put limits on myself.

I have a book on DPT as well. Im hoping it works 🤞
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
490
Location
California
I was given this diagnosis sometime ago. I have never fully accepted it. I can be highly sensitive and sometimes controlling.
But I have had stable relationships for the most part. Held down jobs.
Hi, I asked for BPD to be removed from my health summary for similar reasons. It is still there. Thank you for sharing this.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
490
Location
California
Hi, I asked for BPD to be removed from my health summary for similar reasons. It is still there. Thank you for sharing this.
The intense pain that hits, deep sadness that feel like I need to end, scary, deep anger, mood swings, past SH, looking for something to SH when I've made it near impossible to do so and am angry that what I am looking for is no where at hand....but that's the point...calm and peacefulness practiced lost when control does not belong to me.. what ever this is with or without any label...I have been able to keep my job. As far as relationships...I met my husband. He is magic. I am blessed to have him and his kindness. His heart is golden and I continue to learn from him every day.
 
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Dagoon

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Joined
Dec 27, 2020
Messages
152
Location
Np20
BPD is different for everyone. Ive been in a relationship for 15 years now. Normally I last for 3 years. But thats because of my partner. He is wonderful and he gets me. My moods switch very quickly and i have extremely negative thoughts about myself. Also I kept a job for 10 years. Because I worked alone. Everyone is different so no matter what your diagnosis it won't be the same as someone else.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
714
Location
US
Thanks seattle. I'm concentrating at keeping the booze at bay plus occasional shoplifting. Once I get them under wraps will move back to DBT.
They started as mechanisms to deal with stress and alienation but have taken on lives of their own now.
The Robert Wright book is brillant. Well worth it on the audio too. Amazon audio
Oh, and they have apps for DBT as well, I have to find one this week (homework for my therapist). They are helpful cause they keep a "diary" of your feelings and help you to track what works, what triggers certain feelings and actions, etc. Have you in my thoughts.
 
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Bobbyewing

Active member
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
28
Location
Dublin
The intense pain that hits, deep sadness that feel like I need to end, scary, deep anger, mood swings, past SH, looking for something to SH when I've made it near impossible to do so and am angry that what I am looking for is no where at hand....but that's the point...calm and peacefulness practiced lost when control does not belong to me.. what ever this is with or without any label...I have been able to keep my job. As far as relationships...I met my husband. He is magic. I am blessed to have him and his kindness. His heart is golden and I continue to learn from him every day.
Can I ask what SH is?
 
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Bobbyewing

Active member
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
28
Location
Dublin
Thanks for all the replies. I found them useful. For me booze causes more problems than it's worth. That triggers bpd symptoms for me.
I can be neurotic and let fly at people who I feel have betrayed me but I'm getting more a handle on it with buddhism /meditation. Plus not drinking makes everything better.
So I'm in a good phase but I need to tackle the booze plus shoplifting which is occasional and has the most potential to unravel me.
But it's been good talking to you good people. I feel less alone.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
490
Location
California
Can I ask what SH is?
SH (self harm)

Sorry if reply shows more than once. I tried deleting because I saw 2 replies from me, then I didn't see it at all . Glad you are doing better.
 
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