Sorry if this is not the right place to put this...I'll keep a long story short. Basically I was pleged with drink and forced into sex by my bf when I was a young teenager and for ten years since iv found it difficult to get over. I used to get flashbacks but then it turned more into an obsessive guilt thing that i couldn't stop thinking about. I'm a lot older now but still feel like i havnt gotten over it and i still think about it alot. Iv talked about it a lot to my counseller and a little to my current bf but it's still an issue. How do I get over it and stop thinking about it? xxx
Hello
im johnny
I keep having flash backs over my past traumas in life ,i was abused as a child and my ex wife mentally tortured me when i told her and her parents i was abused as a child ,i had 6 years of hell and was called a childmolester and attacked ,this knocked me sick as i could not read to my children or like close contact off them ,id have a panic attack really .
My wife in the end would bring young girls round asking me for money for sex i ended up on anti depressants sleeping tablets ,and vodka .
My ex wife even have a neighnour go in our daughters bedroom and lock his self in ,i found him and half killed him ,i didnt know if i was comin or going i was lost .
She was a teacher aswell ?
I have never bathed my children or let them see me naked if i seen them naked it knocked me sick ,i was raped. by my sister when i was 11 she was a lot older and my mother would beat me and drown me in the bath as a child as my father and her divorced and she hated the male off spring ,i never felt loved ?
Im divorced now and my 3 children left me a winners medal ,i have never hit my children or shouted at them ?
Im attending a support group and have joined a toastmasters aswell my speach has improved lots .
Id advise you to try and seek a good councillor or support group .
Take care and start to love who you are thats the first step you need to do ,
All the best johnny
