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Not Needing Anyone

L

LokiPokey75

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If I can fulfill my own needs, does that mean I don't need anyone in my life?

I'm starting to realize that no one has really fulfilled my emotional needs. They didn't reflect back to me who I was and made me feel valid. So I've learned I have to do that for myself. I understand it's good to be self-sufficient, but now I see that nobody can give me what I need. So what's the point of seeking out connections? What's the point of needing anyone? Are they even supposed to meet my needs?

Thoughts?
 
Desire less

Desire less

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Their an addition to your happines, but most happines come from within you if you able to provide yourself with what you need.
 
B

BoutonLune

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What it gives me emotionally is the pleasure of sharing things with someone else. The comfort of having someone to talk to who I can trust. And the feeling of others trusting and sharing with me is equally good too. Strong friendships and relationships can allow a feeling of love. Within a romantic relationship it feeds my emotions also through physical contact.

On a basic level I don't need these things emotionally, but I will be quite unhappy without them.

So to feel truly fulfilled, I guess for me, yes I need someone in my life. To me it is the difference between surviving and enjoying life.

Though it is also important not to have just anyone in my life. It has to be the right people/person obviously. The connection has to be genuine to achieve any of the stuff I mentioned.

It all depends what your emotional needs or desires are.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Relationships likely fulfill SOME of your needs, just not ALL of your needs. Is it realistic to expect that each relationship you involve yourself in fulfill all of your needs? Probably not. Relationships just have to bring value to your life in some way to make them worth the time and investment. It seems your perspective might benefit from some gray zone thinking and less extreme all or nothing thinking, black or white. I hope this is helpful. xo, j
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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I'll echo what others have said that, no you dont need another person to fufill your needs and those who rely on others to fufill they're needs usually have very unhealthy, unsatisfying relationships. But having a partner who gives you love is something that makes your life richer and more enjoyable. Until you've experienced it, you cant understand it. The love you get from partner is not the same as self love and you cant give it to yourself. Its not a need in the survival sense of the word. But its something that everyone deserves to experience and I hope you get to one day ☺
 
T

treasurebox

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People are not perfect and they cannot always give you what you need. Sometimes you have to ask them for your needs, but it will be wise not to expect them to give you what you asked for.

Just be kind and good to others and little by little you will see them giving some of your needs. As the golden rule say, "Do to others as you would have them do to you."
 
L

LokiPokey75

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Hi everyone!

Thank you for all of your wonderful responses. I do think that certain people could bring something meaningful to my life; I just haven't met many of them. It's a hard feeling to realize you are responsible for fulfilling your needs and that you have been so empty for so long because no one else could. I reached out, waiting for someone to take my hand and help me along, and it didn't happen.

JessiMe, I totally agree about the black and white thinking. That's something I've been known to do my whole life and I guess I need to stop generalizing. But so few people mean anything to me and I don't know if I want them to because of how hurt I've been over the years. The search isn't interesting to me. If somebody comes into my life that's great, I won't turn them away, but I'm not sure how much I want anybody anymore. A partner yes, but just a friend, I don't really care.

I'm learning how to get used to being alone. It's not the lesson I thought I was supposed to learn, but it's made me less judgmental and more self-sufficient. Maybe one day it will all lead to a satisfying life. For now, it's just helping me grow. I guess that's all I can ask for.

Thanks again!
 
T

treasurebox

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Keep that optimism and hope. Someday you will have not just a friens but good friends. The Maker of all will bring people to you. Meanwhile, enjoy your life because you can still be happy in your aloneness. Some people live happily despite being alone.

Love yourself and do more things to make you happy. Another way to be really happy is to help others. Maybe you have a talent or a thing that you you can do to help others. Maybe you can volunteer in your community or online. And maybe by doing so, you mighrt be able to have some friends there.
 
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