Not looking forward to today's CBT

[Prince Buster]

While I have found the previous sessions on the general very helpful, I have session five today, the first for two weeks.

I know we are going to discuss work today, the major factor in my depression and anxiety.

Last night I had a particularly poor night's sleep, and when I woke up this morning I had that stuck to the bed feeling - again.

Displaying all the symptoms of anxiety this morning and also feeling nauseous before this afternoon's session. I am really not looking forward to how I am going to get on. Reckon I might vent plenty of spleen.

 

[unlucky]

Good luck!! I had my 3rd (or maybe 4th) session last week and I hate it with a passion!! I don't think its going to work for me but I'll keep going with it. I think its just one of those things that works for some and not for others!! Hope it goes ok for you.

 

[Prince Buster]

Thanks for your good wishes. I must admit I have found the experience indifferent on the whole but as the only support I am getting it has got to be worth a go. Just fearing how I might react this afternoon. I have got in a bit of a mess after a couple of them before.

 

[unlucky]

I'm the same, it takes me days to recover. My cpn says this is because I'm being challenged but it doesn't feel like being challenged to me it feels like being belittled and made to feel stupid!! I'm not a big drinker but I always feel the need for a drink on the evening of CBT - strange that!! My next session isn't until 6 January and although I should be angry its so far away I'm just relieved I don't have to go through it over the festive period, thats stressful enough!!! I'm sticking with it because I think this is the last thing I'll get. I've had psychotherapy, psychiatry and (the worst) group therapy!! I'm obviously a lost cause!!

 

[Prince Buster]

Interesting to read your thoughts there. It is amazing how many times on here you read something which you could have written yourself!

When I left the first session I thought it was total Bollocks. Been a bit better since but in two of them I came out with the feeling of wanting to get smashed. I gave up drinking a few months ago and it is the only time I have felt like that. I don't even want to drink at all the rest of the time.

I know what you mean about the group therapy. A total non starter for me.

 

[unlucky]

I suppose it doesn't help that my cpn is a bit of a hard faced cow (sorry if that sounds harsh but you know the type, you just wouldn't want to get in an argument with them). She says things so matter of factly as if the things shes asking of me are the easiest things in the world and of course to her they are but to me its like asking me to jump off a cliff!! I really just want to tell her to go way (only not so politely!!) but I'm afraid that'll be it for me and no services will be available to me. This mental stuffs no fun at all!!

 

[Prince Buster]

I must admit it took me a while to warm to the CB therapist. I need to get my money's worth out of her though.

Sometimes I am not sure if she does anything for the depression although it seems to help me cope with the anxiety even if it is not the fix I was hoping for.

 

[unlucky]

I'm forgetting you pay for yours, mine is NHS. If I was paying for her I'd definately tell her to f'off!!! We spoke about me getting private therapy, but unfortunately its a vicious circle!! I can't work because of the agoraphobia and depression so I can't afford a private therapist but the NHS is in the main rubbish so I can't go out to work!!! Nightmare!! What time is your appointment?

 

[Prince Buster]

I don't remember talking about that Unlucky - apologies. I will have to have a look through some of my older posts again.

While I have been paying for it, I can claim back some of the money although it is only going to cover half of it at the very top.

Appointment is at 3pm so I guess I better continue my getting ready in stages routine otherwise I am not going to make it.

No doubt I will be one here ranting later on so you will soon see how it goes.

 

[unlucky]

I think you might have replied to one of my threads about private healthcare. I know I've seen it somewhere, its in one of the dark recesses of my mind!! Well, good luck and feel free to rant away later, I'm always open for a rant, it fairly cheers me up!!

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hi both, hope today's session wasn't too bad. Had 16 sessions last year and whilst i got on really well with the therapist i only really started to talk about things properly on the last 3 sessions. Also it's easier when the therapist is there, but not when you try and put these ideas into practice on your own. I didn't realise how hard the sessions would be and like you i tended to need a drink after a session and it took me a few days to come down again.
By the way Unlucky i think we must have the same cpn she's a total bitch and i have to see her tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Take care
Tannith

 

[unlucky]

Haha from Glasgow to Glastonbury, maybe thats why I've not got another appointment till January the 6th, maybe she does the whole of Britain but only the people who are deemed to be beyond help and thats why shes a total cowface!! I've just thought of who mine looks like, you know the head witch in the childrens film 'The Witches' played by Anjelica Huston - thats her!! I keep expecting her to turn me into a mouse for my cat to eat me up!!

 

[Prince Buster]

Ok, so I have just got back. Was on a real downer to start with when I went in - not helped by the fact I had done my homework wrong (typical of me I had already gone one step ahead).

Anyway, she said we were going to discuss work next and I was fearing the worst. I started to explain an episode that happened 10 days ago and the impact it had on me for the next couple of days and she was totally taken aback.

She basically said that just the smallest idea of something to do with work had resulted in me having what she described as a mini breakdown. I continued through my diary and the same thing kept happening.

She asked if I wanted to return there to which I replied no. She then said that she believes it is the spectre of returning there that is making me ill. Not a great surprise but the next part was.

Her suggestion was as we have so much evidence that it is the way I was treated there that had made me ill, I should waste no time in consulting a lawyer and go about seeing what sort of payment I can get out of them.

I was totally stunned, particularly as all the psychiatrist kept saying to me was that it was important that I returned to work as soon as possible. I know which one I am listening to!

Feel better than I have felt for ages now. Here's hoping it continues.

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hate to tell you this but she is actually from Glasgow, scary or what. She actually asked me if i disliked her because she's Scottish. I'm married to a Scotsman. The woman's deranged. I'm only going to let her stay for a max of 20 mins tomorrow, i can't stand anymore. On the humourous side my husband recorded his voice on my mobile saying Simone your 20 minutes is up. Please leave the house and do not slam the door. The last time she came my husband was here to try and mediate and when she left she slammed the door. Am doing my best to get rid of her if i can and don't want to see her again before new year. Hubby and I are up in Fife for New Year and I can't wait.
Take care
Tannith

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Glad to hear the session went well. Was thinking of you.
Tannith