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Not having the best day...

elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
Hi everyone, so I'm feeling a little low again, but it's mainly due to small stuff that's just building up inside my brain. I've been feeling pretty crappy about my appearance lately. First and foremost, my hair has always been a major issue for me. I used to be obsessed with thinking it was greasy when it wasn't and used to wash it every single day. I managed to break that habit and now my hair is a lot healthier, however, since having it cut shorter, it keeps growing back super quick and flicking out on my shoulders which I really cannot stand. My roots keep coming through really quickly as well which is making me feel worse. I know the simple solution is to just get it cut/highlighted again, but I feel like I'm doing that every two weeks at this point! My hair never used to grow this quickly when it was long, but now it's shorter it doesn't seem to stop growing! My hairdresser charges quite a bit of money and I don't think I can afford it for much longer, but I hate the way it looks at the moment and I just want it done again. Part of me just wants to get rid of the highlights completely and just go back to my normal colour, but I really don't know :(

Another thing is my eyebrows. I started filling them in a little while ago because the lady who normally threads them thinned them out way too much and they haven't been right since. My mum often tells me how much she doesn't like the way I do my eyebrows which can make me feel even worse. I've become pretty dependent on makeup as a whole, and I want to get my eyebrows reshaped but I feel like I can't do that unless I leave the house with no eyebrow pencil on because I feel I look too weird! I also started using a light tanning lotion recently which has proven to be really effective on my skin, however I start to feel really bad about myself when it starts going patchy and exposes my pale skin. I'm at the point currently where I just want to cover up because it's just looking like I've got a dirty neck, arms, shoulders etc. When I have my tan, I feel really confident, but when it comes off, I feel really bad. I know it probably seems so shallow to care about these things but there are some days where I really don't want to leave the house unless I look absolutely perfect. I was bullied a lot for my appearance during my school years and I've been cheated on by a man who I thought was the one, which made me feel so worthless.

Weight gain has also been an issue. My parents often make fun of me for the amount of "crap" I eat in a day, when in reality, I don't eat as much as they seem to think. I will typically have brown bread toast for breakfast, a salad for lunch and a light dinner, as well as small snacky bits throughout the day. I will typically have one sugary item per day and I currently alternate between a size 8-10 (UK sizes). I feel like I've gained a lot of weight around my breasts as they are unusually big for someone of my size and I've considered getting a breast reduction so many times. It doesn't help that my dad will literally laugh at me every time I open the fridge door or when I struggle to zip something up. I've just felt so terrible lately and I feel like I need to rely on countless beauty products, treatments etc to feel happy. I've never considered any sort of surgery apart from a breast reduction. I know these things aren't the end of the world and I feel pretty ridiculous even admitting some of this stuff, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading x
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
204
Location
UK
Hi there and welcome :)
Women are so indoctrinated to hate how we look. It's a vicious insidious campaign that begins in childhood.
You do not need to spend loads of money to be 'acceptable' in societies eyes.
The best way to be beautiful is really simple: eat healthily, get sleep, drink water and exercise. This is all you really need to do to be beautiful.
Everything else is artificial and temporary.
By all means do your hair, and eyebrows and makeup and anything else if you like, but know that your true beauty is underneath all that.

I am sure you are much more beautiful than you think/feel, and even if you were not, there's a great quote from Lupita Nyongo, 'beauty cannot feed you.' You cannot eat beauty. You cannot survive on beauty alone in this world. If anything, it is an exploited quality.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
204
Location
UK
It sounds like you are around/have been around some not very nice men who have made you feel bad about yourself. This is more about them than you. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE. They were not enough for you.
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
Hi there and welcome :)
Women are so indoctrinated to hate how we look. It's a vicious insidious campaign that begins in childhood.
You do not need to spend loads of money to be 'acceptable' in societies eyes.
The best way to be beautiful is really simple: eat healthily, get sleep, drink water and exercise. This is all you really need to do to be beautiful.
Everything else is artificial and temporary.
By all means do your hair, and eyebrows and makeup and anything else if you like, but know that your true beauty is underneath all that.

I am sure you are much more beautiful than you think/feel, and even if you were not, there's a great quote from Lupita Nyongo, 'beauty cannot feed you.' You cannot eat beauty. You cannot survive on beauty alone in this world. If anything, it is an exploited quality.
Hi there,

Thank you so much! That’s lovely of you to say 😊 I think I’ve just felt a bit low now that summers coming to an end and I’m back to my pale, ordinary self 😂😣 I’ve definitely been trying to eat better and get exercise more often which is helping ☺ I have had a bad experience with a boyfriend quite recently who cheated on me with my best friend which really shattered by confidence, but I’m seeing a counsellor regularly which is good ☺ Xxx
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
204
Location
UK
Being cheated on will always knock confidence, but that's HIS flaw, not yours. He was not a right fit. Also, nothing wrong with pale...it's very vampish and beautiful. Lots of people covet pale skin. Get tans if you prefer them, but know that you being pale is beautiful as it is too :)
 
elliepaige20

elliepaige20

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2019
Messages
153
Location
Kent
T
Being cheated on will always knock confidence, but that's HIS flaw, not yours. He was not a right fit. Also, nothing wrong with pale...it's very vampish and beautiful. Lots of people covet pale skin. Get tans if you prefer them, but know that you being pale is beautiful as it is too :)
Thank you so much! 😊 I’ll definitely try to embrace the paleness! And yeah being cheated on really does suck, but as time goes on I’ve slowly started moving forward from it. Thank you so much for your kind words xxx
 
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