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Not having a great time Possible Trigger

Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
Its been a rocky couple of weeks. I took an overdose of *******a fortnight ago, spent 5 days in hospital. The next week i had a weeks respite and now im feeling like im back where i started mentally. Not feeling good have that thought in my head again. Have got a GPs appointment Saturday not looking forward to that I feel as if i have let my doctor down, hes been so good to me sees me every week and has done so for the past 2 years. I have to be honest with him i got the extra ******* by taking my prescription to a different chemist and they gave me 5 (a complete box) instead of one. When i told the consultant this at the hospital he was very annoyed and said he would be doing something about that. He told me he wouldt say goodbye as he knew he would be seeing me again. And that one day i could well end up by killing myself weather by accident or on purpose. That scared me because i know hes right it could well end like that. Im trying so hard but at times it feels like im banging my head against a brick wall:mad::mad::mad::mad:
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,625
Gail,

I have no answers just that you have to try to keep fighting and stay here with us - no one wants you to die there is life out there to be had. I know its all really difficult to keep moving on and up - up never seems to be an option these days for me either. I just wanted to acknowledge your post and that you are not alone

Take it easy
KS
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
Gail like Keepsafe I don't have the answers. But I'm still here after 4 suicide attempts by overdose. Its just coming up to 2 years since the last time. What I did do was get rid of my "supplies" a few months back and that has helped.

Take care of yourself and try and keep safe.
KP:hug:
 
Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
have started hording meds/tablets again not a good sign with me. Am going to see if i can see my GP in next couple of days see what He can suggest/think of. Hes already sorting it so that I only get so much insulin at a time. Hes the only one i trust don't have any faith in my cpn or pdoc/crisis team. My mind is taking me places I don't want to go, down those dark highways and byways of blpd again. Im tired of this tired of being like this i just wanna lead a normal life thats all i ask. Dont wanna end up in hospital again normal or psychiatric cant handle going thou that again I was in normal hospital 3 weeks ago and at xmas time due to od. In psychiatric hospital around xmas time as well. Not a good time. Mind so mixed up and messed. I think I may be becoming a danger to myself if I follow the things that are in my mind and I don't wanna be told that by a pdoc and so be sectioned again like last time I cant go though that yet again. They just section me for a few days don't treat me then let me go and that's it. I think a lot of the trouble is having the dx of blpd I feel as if they have given up on me since I got this dx as well. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
 
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