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Not feeling motivated and hanging on by a thread

J

JustyTheCat

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2018
Messages
2
I have BPD with chronic depression and have been doing DBT for about 1/2 year now but only a few months with a therapist... I hit a point recently where I no longer feel motivated to really do the DBT... to read it to a large extent, and to enact it to smaller extent.

This weekend I've seriously considered homicide, suicide, getting in my car and driving very far away from here (stupid b/c I have a pending court case from a previous suicide attempt that I still have to be able to go to), quitting my job, doing psych inpatient, doing partial day/intensive outpatient, increasing my outpatient visits... Basically everything I can think of... It's been a pretty bad weekend... One of the worst I've ever had...

I'm dealing with a lot of physical pain and limitations as well, due to a recent surgery. I've barely been out of bed in the last week except to work (I work from home).

I really need to find a way to get myself motivated to do the DBT again... But I don't know how... I feel miserable, lonely (I have but one friend, who does have a larger than average-but still limited capacity--to deal with me), and I've just lost my hope for good things in the future... I've been nasty with her and while my anger is probably well placed, my actions are rarely so.

My losing hope and being very isolated is probably why DBT has come to a grinding halt... I fear if I'm not able to get back in the swing of things soon, I may do something really dumb...
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2016
Messages
811
Hi justythecat
Sorry to hear your feeling so low
Sometimes writing things down can help to actually get clear what you need to do.
Hope you feel more like living soon :hug1:
 
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