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not feeling good enough

scottsblue

scottsblue

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so i go out once a month if i`m lucky, it boiles down to not being good enough for people which i dont feel like i am. but thats the reason thats broke up every relationship with girls i ever had and its starting to threten my current relationship.
i just keep getting thoughts of ending it soon as posable so my partners happy. :(
 
T

TheSwiss

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I know what you mean when you say 'ending it will make your partner happy' and I have been there and run a few times - but the pattern just repeats itself. Mine occurs after 14 months of being with someone!!! It may be related to Abondenment issues in your youth??

Looking at the 'rational' for this, it's obviously linked to low self-esteem but it is also fear of the unknown. You probably ask yourself "why is she with me" well in short my friend she is with you because she wants to be with you, if she didnt she wouldnt be there.

Secondly, running away is the easiest solution. Too easy and what you get from running away is the knowledge that you were right - she did want to be with you but what really happened is you pushed her away.

Stand tall my friend. Get yourself in shape and be the best you can be. If anybody expects more then drop them (metaphorically speaking of course)
 
S

saffron

Guest
what makes you think that by breaking up will make your partner happy? that just does not makes sense at all. dont you think she can make her own mind up, if she is with you she is with you for a reason, because she likes you, although you sound like it is hard work, I bet you test her out and have suspicious thoughts about her motives? I have them feeling all the time, you are not a bad person or someone who does not give a shit, be honest about your qualities and make her feel secure and wanted and be proud to be with her or she may think you want to break up with her. Girls, even though they may put on a brave face or try to deny it appreciate honesty.
S:hug:
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i wouldnt care if she slept with somone else, but no its not jelouse thoughts of her with somone else its the fact i dont feel good enough for somone as beautifal as she is.
 
S

saffron

Guest
have a little pride, scotts, if she knew that you do not give a dam wether she slept with someone else or not, it only shows that you have no respect for her or yourself. she is with you at the end of the day., so go make her feel that she is the best thing that has happened to you and you love being with her. you are as much entitled to happiness as the next person, its not like you are trying to fight for her, you have her, now go make the most of everyday you can. that is all she wants also, I bet. you will only push her away otherwise.
good luck
S:hug:
 
S

saffron

Guest
also, if yoiu are worried about not being good enough, let me tell you something, I have just broken up with someone who I have only been seeing for a short while, we knew each other before but not well, but we have mutual aquaintances.. first he told me he would never introduce me to his parents, as they would not approve and it would not be worth the hassle, then whewhich lead me to ask him if he would say he was with me if people asked he said, god no. Now that is someone that really is not good enough. so he is history, story of my life.
Please be a bit stronger and focus on your positive qualities and not negative feelings of insecurity. you have sustained this relationship over time even though you live apart, that has to say a lot.
S :hug:
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i`m pushing on but it just feels like she`s gona leave me soon or just leading me on like the ugly boyfriend, she`s 6 years younger than me and lives in a mansion with her parents.
 
S

saffron

Guest
Hi scotts
that would be a pretty shallow person to think that, is she?
what has happened to give you the impression she is going to leave you soon?
what are you doing to make her think that you are the best thing for her?
why do you feel it matters where she lives and how old she is?
the best things that are offered are often free and never ageist. if that makes sense.
sorry that sounded like I was having a go , I am not, just wondering and making conversation. :hug:

S
 
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scottsblue

scottsblue

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i carnt normally answer 1 question people aske me so gona have to skip your questions sorry, thanks for the help tho and its always nice to have somone to talk to.:)
 
S

saffron

Guest
thats fine scotts, I hope it all works out for you. take care of you.
S
 
scottsblue

scottsblue

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i`m looking into takeing up a old hoby so if that goas well and i`m more happy with myself hew knows o the relationship front.:)
 
S

saffron

Guest
thats a good idea, gives you focus and motivation a hobby, what is it, by the way.
hope you are well
S:hug:
 
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