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Not eating

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DimpleDebz

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Hi all, I binged for a few months due to a long depression and cravings from new meds. I ballooned. I keep telling myself, better heavier and stable than thin and unstable but I don't think my brain wants to believe it. I stopped eating on Tuesday. I weigh myself constantly and I've forced myself to stay home instead of attempting a 5k run every morning (I haven't ran consistently in a year plus I am not consuming enough calories to do that healthily). This is the first time that a part of me is saying, this is wrong, instead of just being happy that the weight is coming off. I feel guilty, I keep lying to my 10 year old that I ate when he wasn't there. It's wrong to starve yourself but I'm just happy it's coming off. Please bare with me, I'm 30 but literally only just acknowledged that I've always had an eating disorder. I guess my other illnesses always took priority but I would really like to know how you get rid of the sense of achievement from not eating and how not to snap out of this and go straight back to binging. Thank you and have a fantastic day 😊
 
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lavenderfire

lavenderfire

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My heart goes out to you and wants you to get better again. Try do what you would want your favourite person to do if they were in your situation: you would want them to do what is healthy for them. So do what is healthy for you.

You need to eat food for nutrition. And because it is healthy to eat. You need to nurture your self and take care of yourself.

There are other things in your life that you can focus on as your sense of achievement things. Do not let not eating be one of them.
 
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DimpleDebz

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Thank you lavenderfire 🧡 really kind words and solid advice. I'm going to start working on my lecture notes to get my sense of achievement. That may be too big of a task at the moment so my mini goal is to have a shower and condition my hair. Hopefully the urge to eat comes back soon. It normally does after about a week but I'm worried because my weight has never been higher and I can tell that my brain is taking this more seriously than normal.
 
lavenderfire

lavenderfire

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Thank you lavenderfire 🧡 really kind words and solid advice. I'm going to start working on my lecture notes to get my sense of achievement. That may be too big of a task at the moment so my mini goal is to have a shower and condition my hair. Hopefully the urge to eat comes back soon. It normally does after about a week but I'm worried because my weight has never been higher and I can tell that my brain is taking this more seriously than normal.
You got this (you can do it)! Also, it is natural for humans to want to have a cleanse or a fast, so maybe that is the urge instead of something bad. So consider that it is natural, not a bad thing, but that it should not last a week. I think not eating while you are sleeping is a natural fast that is healthy. Anyway, it helps to shift your thoughts and heart away from food and weight, and use your valuable mind and self for things that do matter, like your family heath work home creativity love and uniqueness.
 
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DimpleDebz

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Yes! That is just what I needed to hear. I'm going to look at this as my body and mind cleansing. Lord knows that a lot of trauma has been coming up so my kind is definitely trying to heal, perhaps my body wants to too 😁
 
lavenderfire

lavenderfire

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Yes! That is just what I needed to hear. I'm going to look at this as my body and mind cleansing. Lord knows that a lot of trauma has been coming up so my kind is definitely trying to heal, perhaps my body wants to too 😁
What you said there is inspiring for anyone!

I need a cleanse soon (or later) - coz I have been winter snacking for a while (I needed it too, due to recent mental diagnosis) which feels good, allows my body to relax enjoy and eat what it wants for a while. And later on I'll feel like changing it up into veg and fruit and meat and herbal teas for a bit. I just go with how I feel like yet not let food or weight be my focus. My focus is my mental and spiritual health.
 
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DimpleDebz

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Excellent! I refuse to look at the last few months as binging now... I was also winter snacking 😂 funnily enough, I think it was triggered by the same reason. I've always been Bipolar but they dropped Borderline on top at the end of last year and I also have PTSD and mild OCD. My mouth has been comforting my mind with food since then 😄
 
lavenderfire

lavenderfire

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Excellent! I refuse to look at the last few months as binging now... I was also winter snacking 😂 funnily enough, I think it was triggered by the same reason. I've always been Bipolar but they dropped Borderline on top at the end of last year and I also have PTSD and mild OCD. My mouth has been comforting my mind with food since then 😄
That's what I have been doing, and I don't see any issue if you are healthy. I have put on weight Ove the past 3 weeks and I feel good about it. Like, my tummy muscles have relaxed out and I have put on a layer of fat.

Once my priority: my mental health, is at a point that I feel good about the progress, and once I feel like I want to change my eating again to eating veg fruit meat maybe some gluten free pasta tea water and probably some crackers and cheese or some new snack thing I find, ill do that.

I also know that this type of fat melts off just fine once I decide its healthy eating/jogging/a bit of gym time again. Once again: my mental health is paramount.

But for now I need cozy comfort and yum snacks along with rest calm movies video games, outings and fresh air, socialising with my sister, and whatever else I think will keep me feeling snug and safe while my poor mind and spirit heal up! Winter or not, (I think its autumn), this "season" of my year is certainly putting on the "winter-weight" but that's just a side thing. I like how calm and rejuvenating I feel in my mind and spirit and even heart from relaxing and indulging, but, that is not my focus. Healing my mind and sorting out my mental illnesses is the focus. My mind is benefiting from this so, good.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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If you're not eating for a full day or longer, I think it is wise to add a bit of salt. I've done fasts up to three days before and just added some salt to green tea.
 
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DimpleDebz

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Hi jajingna, thanks for the advice. I'll do that 😊
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Small regular meals and moderate exercise, like a few miles walk daily, worked wonders for me. You don’t have to jump from one extreme to another to achieve your objectives with weight loss. Healthier weight loss will come more moderately on a somewhat longer timeline. So look to the long term and start eating three healthy meals a day with moderate exercise. Your health will thank you I’m sure.
 
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DimpleDebz

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I completely agree and I have and can lead a healthy lifestyle. However that has only happened when I am stable and I am really not at the moment 😄 however I have made sure to have 5 big bites of a healthy meal and a piece of fish today. I'm going to focus on that small achievement and aim to do at least 1% better tomorrow
 
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