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Not doing well

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KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
I am not doing well tonight. I just don’t want to be here anymore. It’s all to much for me at the moment. I don’t know how to make anything better. I’ve been in self destruction mode for awhile. I just sick of feeling like this. Sorry, I just have to get it out.
 
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KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
I wish the virus would just take me. Then I wouldn’t have to endure the pain I feel any longer.
 
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bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
2,192
Location
England
Hello kitkat. I am sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Have you told your doctor you are feeling worse? It sounds like you could benefit from more support.
 
K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
Don’t think it matters to much anymore. Support is something I have been lacking for along time. I just can’t handle anything anymore. I’m at a point where I’m done. My life is screwed up and it can’t be repaired now. There is Nothing I can do.
 
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bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
2,192
Location
England
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Have you tried to get support from your doctor?
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
7,489
Location
Teesside
Don’t think it matters to much anymore. Support is something I have been lacking for along time. I just can’t handle anything anymore. I’m at a point where I’m done. My life is screwed up and it can’t be repaired now. There is Nothing I can do.
Im a big believer in talking, i really do think that it helps.
How about starting off slowly with some of the issues that are getting you down, plenty of members here to listen and support you.
Hugs
Fox
 
K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
I’m afraid to really talk about everything. This has been on going for a few years now. I can’t even leave my home. With COVID I guess it makes it easier to stay in. I’ve been suicidal for two years.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
3,543
Location
Nashua NH
Would you feel more comfortable chatting about it here online with us?
 
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KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
It’s hard for me to talk about all of the reasons. I wish there was a guaranteed way. I’m afraid of failing and being in worse shape. I do have a therapist who has suggested that I have someone stay with me and help me through this. I can’t leave my home, I have no way to support myself, no family emotional support but I have to be everyone else’s. It’s getting more difficult to hang on.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
1,024
Location
Glasgow
It’s hard for me to talk about all of the reasons. I wish there was a guaranteed way. I’m afraid of failing and being in worse shape. I do have a therapist who has suggested that I have someone stay with me and help me through this. I can’t leave my home, I have no way to support myself, no family emotional support but I have to be everyone else’s. It’s getting more difficult to hang on.
Your posting to the right place. Lots of support here.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
1,024
Location
Glasgow
It’s hard for me to talk about all of the reasons. I wish there was a guaranteed way. I’m afraid of failing and being in worse shape. I do have a therapist who has suggested that I have someone stay with me and help me through this. I can’t leave my home, I have no way to support myself, no family emotional support but I have to be everyone else’s. It’s getting more difficult to hang on.
The people here are all lovely, and we all have our problems and our war stories so lean on the forum. Its a great place for support and understanding
 
K

KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
The people here are all lovely, and we all have our problems and our war stories so lean on the forum. Its a great place for support and understanding
I will try to open up more on the forum. I know myself. I have tried twice in my life. Once at 13 and again in my twenties. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I am so tired of the pain. I’ve reached out when I was about too two years ago and I didn’t get the help I needed. I shut down, stayed in bed for over a year and disassociated. I’m on antidepressants now but it is still with me. I really have no life now. I don’t talk about how I feel because it will only upset everyone. I’m scared and tired of living this way.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
1,024
Location
Glasgow
Ive been there multiple times. And i live alone with my animals and have no family or human contact so i understand. Talking even if its on this forum helps relieve your brain even for a while so keep it up. Lots of us are in a similar position or have been in the past so your not alone xxx
 
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KitKat90

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Texas
Thank you. It’s not easy to talk about it to anyone. No one in my life understands. I’ve hid it and it just gets harder to hide. Talking about it does help. I wish I could change things but I can’t.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
1,024
Location
Glasgow
Thank you. It’s not easy to talk about it to anyone. No one in my life understands. I’ve hid it and it just gets harder to hide. Talking about it does help. I wish I could change things but I can’t.
We are all fixed in our own lives with our own wee battles to fight. Dont hide who you are, in my experience its not pretty in the end.
 
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