not coping

[riverofdragons]

I cannot see the way through til tomorrow. One week seems a lifetime from now. Each moment of hell lasts a thousand years. I am alone, maybe I do not even exist at all.

I think I want to go into hospital for a few days, not too long, just long enough to calm down and rest. I am not coping with the stress of xmas and exams. I have taken on too much, thinking I was getting better. Now sitting here I risk losing all the progress I had made. I am scared. My strength is bending and near breaking point.

I am so tired and scared

 

[iffybob]

Choice

Do you have the choice of hospital, I wish I did , I tryed a week ago, after I cut for the first time in years. 2 mounths after crisis care, and no treament inbetween.

I can relate to how you feel, I feel it bad also.

If you need the help, ask, I hope you get it.

Take care ........ boB .............

 

[KP1]

Hi River of Dragons I don't know what to say that will help. Xmas time certainly doesn't help much when you are suffering from depression. Are there any areas of your life that you can simplify things a bit for now?
Hope things improve for you soon.
Take care.
KP

 

[riverofdragons]

Thanks for the replies. I am still not very well but at least no longer suicidal. I think I have come up with a plan to ease my workload a little, fingers crossed it helps. I know I am neglecting my friends and I wish I was able to be there for people more but right now I am barely keeping myself alive.

Strangely I am feeling quite positive for the new year. 2009 was full of excellent progress and I think that it can continue. Starting next week with the epdural I am getting to ease the pain of two herniated discs and a sacral sprain. Felt smug that my MRI came back with physical evidence of the crippling pain I have had for over a year...bastards told me it was in my head without even examining me.

I am so up and down, don't know whether to ask for increased meds or just carry on with the slow but progressive climb back to normality.

Thanks again for the replies...I so often feel like no one cares at all

 

[iffybob]

I know

Its hard somtimes to know if its MH pain or realy ill, oftern I have to rely on a termometer, or spend weeks wondering before I make a GP appointment.

Glad you feel hope full about the new year, I hope it goes well for you.


Take care ........ boB .......

 

[huggybear65]

I know how Riverof dragons feels,I feel barely alive too..
Need real hugs,feel so empty inside.