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Not coping lately

P

PurpleCat1985

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2018
Messages
1
Hi,
I’m not really sure what I’m doing here, I’m just going to write what’s in my head.

I’ve always been an anxious person, for as long as I can remember. I’ve had good stretches where I barely notice it and bad ones where I’m completely exhausted by it and feel like I just can’t escape from the constant anxious loop I find myself in.

My partner of 10 years was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer just over a year ago, in his late 30s. Thankfully he’s in complete remission, following a few months of intensive, soul destroying treatment. He’s done amazingly and seems to be moving on, I’m so proud of him.

So why hasn’t the knot untied in my stomach? It’s been there everyday for a year and no matter what I do to try to help myself, it just won’t stop. I feel on the verge of panic constantly, and I can’t work out where the threat is and what on earth I’m so terrified of.
I feel completely alone despite being in a lovely relationship and having a wonderful family. I’m so lucky and I can’t bring myself to tell them how I feel, because I have absolutely no right to feel sorry for myself, and actually, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel angry with myself. My partner got better, I’m so relieved and I’m so happy, and so is everyone around me. I just can’t seem to enjoy it.

Can anyone relate to this? I feel so odd and I don’t know where to turn.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
hello PurpleCat the emotions always take far longer to heal than the physical. have you had some counseling. also the thing about stress is that you 'cope' whilst you are in the thick of it and its afterwards it starts to unravel.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,857
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum,
I'm very glad your partner is in remission, you've been thru a lot.
Please do think about having some counselling.
Here to listen anytime
Cool username to.
Take care
 
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