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Not being able to meet girls. Worsening my depression.

D

Dman93

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Im 27 years old and i cant get girls. Im not fat or out of shape. People have told me im a good looking guy but theyre only trying to be polite... cause IF that was true, i wouldnt have a dating problem. I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking.

Im just so sick of this life. So many cute girls around and they dont even pay attention to me. But when a good looking guy walks by, they fall to their knees. I notice these things. And it hurts me, cause it reminds me that im hideous. If i was an old man I can see dating being a problem. But im SUPPOSED to be in my prime! 27! This is killing me on the inside. Why am I so ugly? Everyone in my family looks great and dates often. Im the only one who cant do it. I moved down south to a different state for many reasons, (dating being one reason). Was hoping my luck would change, but it hasnt. Im a disgusting piece of garbage. Im on the dating apps as well but it only makes me feel worse cause i only get 1 match per week on average. And its with a spammer. I have an ugly face in person..but its even worse in pictures i upload on dating apps. I avoid cameras for the reason of not looking at my ugly self in photos. So online dating is a failure for me.
I have a good personality, sure im a bit introverted but everyone that has ever met me has liked me. So my personality is not the problem. I fake my confidence hoping it helps, i have a good paying job, i workout. You just cant fix an ugly face!!!

I never give off a “player” vibe. I go into it with an open mind! If its a one night stand- cool! If its short term- cool! If its a relationship- cool!

I really dont know what to do anymore. The older i get Im just hating myself more and more. Im not suicidal but i wish i wasnt here. Can anyone help or relate?

***Edit: I also used to try cold approaching. Getting rejected is the worst feeling in the world. Im already fragile. And getting rejected is like getting stomped in the face. Especially when girls do it so harshly.
Ive stopped doing cold approaches, cause getting rejection does more damage to me than anything else. Its not worth the risk.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,270
Location
India
I'm 31 and have never had any success with girls or women either. I no longer care as I don't plan to have kids.
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
888
Location
England
There are two things that I KNOW women respond to: one is confidence and the other, which you didn't mention, is sense of humour (as well as money etc, but we'll leave that to one side for now!).

You said you fake confidence but a woman will likely see right through it, they're shrewd creatures those women. So you obviously need to build up your confidence and belief in yourself first so that it can be a natural confidence that you give off. The more natural you are the more at ease a woman will be with you. If you can make a woman laugh then you're onto a winner I reckon. If you have money, look okay, and can make them laugh then plenty of women will take that on for the long-term, and that's what it is really isn't it. Many women are thinking about who they could put up with for the long-term; who is going to be fun to be around.

One thing that may help though is improving your photographs for those apps. The angles and lighting are key, so take them facing a source of light (preferably natural light) so that you can be seen more clearly, don't take them too close, have your upper chest/shoulders in the pic as well, that should frame you well, raise your chin just a fraction, and give a part smile. See if that helps.

Also, work out more. Women like a strong physique and will notice that before your face in plenty of situations anyway. Good luck buddy. Believe in yourself.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
933
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Im 27 years old and i cant get girls. Im not fat or out of shape. People have told me im a good looking guy but theyre only trying to be polite... cause IF that was true, i wouldnt have a dating problem. I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking.

Im just so sick of this life. So many cute girls around and they dont even pay attention to me. But when a good looking guy walks by, they fall to their knees. I notice these things. And it hurts me, cause it reminds me that im hideous. If i was an old man I can see dating being a problem. But im SUPPOSED to be in my prime! 27! This is killing me on the inside. Why am I so ugly? Everyone in my family looks great and dates often. Im the only one who cant do it. I moved down south to a different state for many reasons, (dating being one reason). Was hoping my luck would change, but it hasnt. Im a disgusting piece of garbage. Im on the dating apps as well but it only makes me feel worse cause i only get 1 match per week on average. And its with a spammer. I have an ugly face in person..but its even worse in pictures i upload on dating apps. I avoid cameras for the reason of not looking at my ugly self in photos. So online dating is a failure for me.
I have a good personality, sure im a bit introverted but everyone that has ever met me has liked me. So my personality is not the problem. I fake my confidence hoping it helps, i have a good paying job, i workout. You just cant fix an ugly face!!!

I never give off a “player” vibe. I go into it with an open mind! If its a one night stand- cool! If its short term- cool! If its a relationship- cool!

I really dont know what to do anymore. The older i get Im just hating myself more and more. Im not suicidal but i wish i wasnt here. Can anyone help or relate?

***Edit: I also used to try cold approaching. Getting rejected is the worst feeling in the world. Im already fragile. And getting rejected is like getting stomped in the face. Especially when girls do it so harshly.
Ive stopped doing cold approaches, cause getting rejection does more damage to me than anything else. Its not worth the risk.
"I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking."

How is your mind?
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,987
Its so sad I'm sure you are a lovely person .... have you tried dating sites I know it's a normal response but they are dating sites for everyone... have a look?
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,183
Location
USA
Im 27 years old and i cant get girls. Im not fat or out of shape. People have told me im a good looking guy but theyre only trying to be polite... cause IF that was true, i wouldnt have a dating problem. I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking.

Im just so sick of this life. So many cute girls around and they dont even pay attention to me. But when a good looking guy walks by, they fall to their knees. I notice these things. And it hurts me, cause it reminds me that im hideous. If i was an old man I can see dating being a problem. But im SUPPOSED to be in my prime! 27! This is killing me on the inside. Why am I so ugly? Everyone in my family looks great and dates often. Im the only one who cant do it. I moved down south to a different state for many reasons, (dating being one reason). Was hoping my luck would change, but it hasnt. Im a disgusting piece of garbage. Im on the dating apps as well but it only makes me feel worse cause i only get 1 match per week on average. And its with a spammer. I have an ugly face in person..but its even worse in pictures i upload on dating apps. I avoid cameras for the reason of not looking at my ugly self in photos. So online dating is a failure for me.
I have a good personality, sure im a bit introverted but everyone that has ever met me has liked me. So my personality is not the problem. I fake my confidence hoping it helps, i have a good paying job, i workout. You just cant fix an ugly face!!!

I never give off a “player” vibe. I go into it with an open mind! If its a one night stand- cool! If its short term- cool! If its a relationship- cool!

I really dont know what to do anymore. The older i get Im just hating myself more and more. Im not suicidal but i wish i wasnt here. Can anyone help or relate?

***Edit: I also used to try cold approaching. Getting rejected is the worst feeling in the world. Im already fragile. And getting rejected is like getting stomped in the face. Especially when girls do it so harshly.
Ive stopped doing cold approaches, cause getting rejection does more damage to me than anything else. Its not worth the risk.
I don't know if it's any help to you, but one of the guys in my dorm in college who was really attractive to chicks was not good looking. He had an unattractive appearance, but this guy had the gift of gab! I used to admire how he could talk to guys or girls and always be humorous and witty-I was nothing like that.

So, don't focus so much on your looks. Yeah, it's an important first attraction, but after that your personality gets things done. Chics are attracted to a pretty face, but they really embrace a man who is confident and can chat with them on their terms. No question.
 
D

Dman93

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
I don't know if it's any help to you, but one of the guys in my dorm in college who was really attractive to chicks was not good looking. He had an unattractive appearance, but this guy had the gift of gab! I used to admire how he could talk to guys or girls and always be humorous and witty-I was nothing like that.

So, don't focus so much on your looks. Yeah, it's an important first attraction, but after that your personality gets things done. Chics are attracted to a pretty face, but they really embrace a man who is confident and can chat with them on their terms. No question.
True. But i cant just hit a button to gain confidence. Confidence is something that builds up. I cant just wake up in the morning and say “today ill be a confident guy”. Something good has to happen to me before to get that confidence. But constant rejection. Constant failures. Constant looking in the mirror will NOT ever get me an ounce of confidence.
 
D

Dman93

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Its so sad I'm sure you are a lovely person .... have you tried dating sites I know it's a normal response but they are dating sites for everyone... have a look?
Yes. I discussed it in my original post. I never get matches. And when i do, its scam. I look hideous in pictures. I try better lighting, filters, etc. its not working. I have a better chance in person over online.
 
D

Dman93

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
"I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking."

How is your mind?
My mind is in a negative state, as you can see. No confidence, as you can see.
Unless i get lucky and get me a cute girl or some good interaction or event happens to me... i dont see my mind or confidence getting any better any time soon.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,183
Location
USA
True. But i cant just hit a button to gain confidence. Confidence is something that builds up. I cant just wake up in the morning and say “today ill be a confident guy”. Something good has to happen to me before to get that confidence. But constant rejection. Constant failures. Constant looking in the mirror will NOT ever get me an ounce of confidence.
Confidence comes from experiencing success in all ventures. Look past the immediate goal of landing chics, what other things are you good at? Build confidence off of them and it will extend in to the rest of your life. Building confidence is a process, you take it step by step. Start with what you know best and enjoy.
 
D

Dman93

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Confidence comes from experiencing success in all ventures. Look past the immediate goal of landing chics, what other things are you good at? Build confidence off of them and it will extend in to the rest of your life. Building confidence is a process, you take it step by step. Start with what you know best and enjoy.
Youre right. But thats my problem. I dont have any hobbies or any real interests anymore and i truly blame my dating failures. This whole dating thing is eating me up inside. Since i was a teenager and recognized how ugly I am by constant rejection even from “not so attractive” girls.
And being surrounded by a handsome family who gets girls left and right. For a decade I see them doing it with such ease. And im here having a better chance at winning the lottery than landing a girls NUMBER.
Im only thankful for having a very easy and well paying job. Other than that, i dont have any hobbies or interests. After work, I just think about women and praying for things to change & have a normal dating life before its too late.
 
F

fragrant_violet

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
303
Location
Tirana
How about forgetting completely about trying to meet women for a romantic encounter? I don't mean stop trying, but stop making it a priority in your life. Millions of people are single. You can have a good life without a woman. So take all this pressure offa yourself. Think of just meeting a woman as friend and go on from there, slowly
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
448
Location
Orleans vermont.
I cant keep a girlfriend to save my life either. Give only had 3 relationships in my life and I'm 36. I'm ugly and I've got a little bit of a gut but I've always treated my partners like they were the last drop of water on earth. It always seemed to go well but then I got cheated on or abandoned. I never figured out what made me so horrible that I should just be ghosted and ditched. As a result I gave up. I'll die alone.
 
R

rawlinsc

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2020
Messages
757
Location
USA
I cant keep a girlfriend to save my life either. Give only had 3 relationships in my life and I'm 36.
3 relationships is pretty good. I am 36 as well and only had 2 relationships.
 
R

rawlinsc

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2020
Messages
757
Location
USA
Im 27 years old and i cant get girls. Im not fat or out of shape. People have told me im a good looking guy but theyre only trying to be polite... cause IF that was true, i wouldnt have a dating problem. I just think i have an unattractive face which is something i cant control. My nose is small and somewhat crooked. I have small ears, small eyes and a big head. There is nothing “good looking” about my face. When i smile, it makes my face so much more dimented looking.

Im just so sick of this life. So many cute girls around and they dont even pay attention to me.
Are your standards really high or too high? My first girlfriend was definitely not a model and I was not even that attracted to her at first. I grew to like her after learning about her personality. I liked her a lot eventually after her personality shined and also because she was fun in bed.
 
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