• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Nostalgia: The pain of pictures, dates, receipts, etc

X

Xcaliber7

Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2020
Messages
6
Location
South
The past month I've been at home in quarantine with my lovely girlfriend and future wife and our pets. My job in sales drives me crazy and I have a stress inducing narcissistic boss. I have been there too long and need to leave but that's a story for another day. While the World was crumbling around us the past several weeks I've been thriving. I work from home daily but the fact I did not have to go into our office at all the place where just pulling around the corner I get gut punching anxiety. It's been so peaceful, free and wonderful at home. I sleep through the night for the first time in years. But....it's now all ending soon and the storm that awaits are all the things that are already beginning to give me anxiety and depression.

The topic I wanted to ask today is regarding nostalgia. I caught myself doing something today and realize it's something I've always done, even as a kid. I'm not sure if anyone else does but it sure is horrible to do to myself.

The last several weeks I've taken pictures of my girlfriend, of my pets, of all of us together, of funny moments, of us hunkering down, of our walks, of innocent moments on a weekday sitting outside in the sun, working from the front porch with my computer while our little cat sits at my feet content to be in the fresh air. Normally in a moment like that on a day like that I'd be in that office probably with gut wrenching anxiety dreading the day away.

When I look at these photos, of course I'm happy and love them but they are painful. I see the dates of they were taken April 7th, 10am, April 11th 2pm and think to myself, god I wish it were still that moment. I wish I still had time to enjoy this peaceful time in my life. I wonder, did I truly appreciate it enough in that moment? I badger myself by saying, on any other day at that time I'd be in the office. This was something that's almost over and it went so fast. I wonder if our pets will miss us when we aren't here all day. I will miss the friends and family members I reconnected with and a time when I didn't have a job and a boss that make me question my confidence and purpose daily. I was free for these days and when I see a receipt with date on it where I left mid morning to buy a coffee (something I could never do in the office) I can almost feel the carefree joy of that day when I drove there to buy it. Still weeks left of no worries but that time went so fast.

I hate how I can take these memories and end up using them to make myself feel awful and sad. I often times have to remove them from my phone and put them on my external hard drive, preserved but not in sight.

Does anyone else do these things? For me it's photos, it's receipts with a place or a date on it that triggers a time period or memory. And I just had a lot of them th past month.

Kind of weird isn't it? The person who is normally anxious, stressed out, on edge, depressed at time and beaten down by this job and career I can't seem to escape.....found total bliss and peace and a total pause from either anxiety or depression while the entire world was crumbling around me.

I assume that is my inner soul trying to show me the light. LEAVE THIS JOB.
I'm certainly going to try.
 
FlowerBox

FlowerBox

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
785
Location
Here
I feel nostalgia so so so strongly as well and always have...with music and photos mostly...at the moment it's longing nostalgia for last summer..though I don't like summer at all, last summer was the first one where I was being myself, really me. I remember the dark and stormy days and the fireflies in the morning and I miss it. I was still struggling mentally but it's only gotten worse and I miss how it wasn't as unbearable then. The music I discovered and was listening to at the time hits so hard with such an indescribable feeling...
For me it's like every few months, a new "feeling" starts..I don't realize it until I look at photos or listen to music from last month or a couple months ago, and I think wow...I want that back
 
L

Lab rat

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
802
Location
UK
What you are describing in perfectly normal nostalgia, everyone gets it. If you ask me, your job is toxic and you hate it, mostly your boss, but at the same time you hate the job itself. Lockdown has given you time to reflect. Time for a change of jobs methinks
 
X

Xcaliber7

Member
Joined
Apr 27, 2020
Messages
6
Location
South
I feel nostalgia so so so strongly as well and always have...with music and photos mostly...at the moment it's longing nostalgia for last summer..though I don't like summer at all, last summer was the first one where I was being myself, really me. I remember the dark and stormy days and the fireflies in the morning and I miss it. I was still struggling mentally but it's only gotten worse and I miss how it wasn't as unbearable then. The music I discovered and was listening to at the time hits so hard with such an indescribable feeling...
For me it's like every few months, a new "feeling" starts..I don't realize it until I look at photos or listen to music from last month or a couple months ago, and I think wow...I want that back
You and I have the same problem. So here is something I have come to realize is a TRUTH. The hard part is putting it into action. Every few months you miss the past, and I do the same thing. What that means is in 3 months from now you will miss TODAY. We spend so much time anxious about the future or worried about things (Anxiety and Depression) That we very rarely are present in the here and now moment. In 3 months you'll miss today, and 3 months from then you'll miss that day and time period. I think the way this gets rectified is LIVING IN AND ENJOYING THE MOMENT. It sounds so simple but it's probably all of our biggest challenges.
I'm going to try to do that more. :)
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
19,263
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I get nostalgia when I see the town I grew up in and my favouritest places to go when i was a kid, its a good thing i moved away from there, i couldnt of handled seeing all the changes they made since i left after going back :hug:
 
Top