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Normal or not?

Normal?


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Player1514

Active member
Joined
Apr 11, 2021
Messages
25
Location
Canada
I wanna talk about something that I don't know if it is normal or not.

Like I don't really talk to people that often outside my family. there are a lot of different reasons for that but just take it as it is. So the people that I do talk to are mostly other brown families in my town. Now when I talk to people at school that's when I think I go a little weird. Like whenever I finish a conversation, I think about it. I think about every single word I say they said, analyze it what it could meanwhile I constantly tell myself to stop. And then when if I find something where I didn't give a good response I think about all the different scenarios that I could have said to make the conversation better. like I still remember 1 year ago my social teacher and I was having a conversation about some question and I still think about the different ways that I could have proved him wrong. and once I was having a conversation with a kid and he said he would great at boxing and then I said sure, this made the conversation to almost end so now for the week I thought about the different things I could have said and done to make the conversation better and interesting.

I just know this can't be normal can anyone help me realize the thing I am dealing with so I can try to solve it.

Also, any advice is much appreciated.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
5,122
Location
Canada
This sounds related to social anxiety. We all like our social interactions to go smoothly, but with this anxiety we can be perfectionists. Fussing over little details. Wanting not to make "mistakes" like saying the wrong words. I've done some obsessing over such things too. Like how best to say something, even though there's a bunch of ways to say the same thing. An example for me from years ago would be how to ask someone out. "Do you want to..." or "Would you like to..." or "How about..."

That example may be a common one for social anxiety, since a lot of people find that hard to do even if they don't have any anxiety disorder. It is tougher for those who have a disorder for sure, who think everything hinges on uses the "correct" wording and everything else like body language, timing, tone of voice, etc. Just conscious of so much, that all gets in the way of being relaxed and natural.

Normal? Well, this amount of anxiety is not healthy.
 
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