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Noise drives me potty!!!

M

Mikey mike

Member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
12
I'm new to all this so please be gentle! Having read through some of the other posts it makes me feel bad talking about my own problems, but then I persuaded myself that this is an 'introduction' and I'm hoping it might do me good to share how I feel.

I suffer from long term depression that probably goes right back to when I was being bullied at school - that left me with a severe lack of confidence and a feeling that I didn't fit in. I sort of struggled on though life until my early thirties when everything came to a head. There seemed to be all kinds of problems to deal - death of my mum, stress at work, problem neighbours - it all got too much for me - I ended up losing my house, my job and my partner. I moved away from my home town and cut myself off from the few friends I had, which was a big mistake - I had some sort of breakdown. The only person that seemed to care about me was my ex so ended up back under the same roof - that was 12 years ago! I've spent most of that time wondering whether I should be here - we're very supportive towards each other (I helped him care for his partner who died 18mths ago) but because of our past history we don't communicate as we should - that causes problems.

Anyway, my main problem at the moment seems to be anxiety which is brought about by unwanted noise. I moved out of my previous house because of problem neighbours - it all started off when I complained about their noise but escalated from their - they waged a vendetta against me and it turned quite nasty - threats, damage to house and car, anonymous phone calls etc - police were eventually involved etc. The council upheld my complaints but I was the one that ended up moving! Well, I'm up against a similar problem at the moment. Opposite the house are some small industrial units - up until 4 years ago they didn't cause any problems - then one of them started up as a vehicle recycling centre. For 6, sometimes 7 days a week they recycle old wrecks - this involves them being cut up with metal cutters, squished in some kind of machine press and being dumped in skips. The noise is not constant but it drives me potty - there have been other problems such as burning rubbish etc etc I've spent 4 years of battling with the council who claim they can do nothing as the people who operate the site have the appropriate license. I've developed all kinds of weird and wonderful ways to try and cope with the problem - shutting myself in the back room with TV turned up, not going out in the back garden, keeping curtains shut so I don't have to look at the offending premises, even shutting my eyes when I leave the house. Is it working? Of course not! I seem to be totally obsessed with the problem, almost waiting for it to happen. When it does kick off then my mood plummets - I can feel myself spiralling out of control - I just want to hide away and cry - sounds daft but I feel threatened by what's going on. My head gets filled with unwanted thoughts about what's happened in the past and I usually end up hating myself, even though the initial problem is outside of my control. Rather than wanting to get out of the house and escape I feel trapped and miserable. The same happens if I hear unwanted music - on the rare occasions that I do venture in to the garden if I can hear a radio etc then I'm back indoors like a shot - even in pubs and shops etc I find it irritating. It must be a hangover from my previous experiences, but there again I seem to remember that my dad was exactly the same. So, on a nice sunny day when everyone else is out enjoying themselves I'm usually stuck inside wondering what an earth is wrong with me. I used to have a lovely garden that even won prizes in the local open gardens day, but now I can't face going out there. It's ruining my life as I've virtually stopped going out and doing things. I realise that most of the time I'm worrying about what might happen rather than what is actually happening, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.


So that's it - lots more besides this - I could write a book!

GP very supportive (although he's just left the practice) - local health services rubbish.

If you've managed to get to the end of this then well done - and thank you for reading!

Mike
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Welcome Mikey Mike

IT is good to share, I find it helps me to write it down, no need to feel bad about sharing here on the forum, that is just what it is for :)
I can tend to suffer with the problems you mention around noise, I'm not a professional and don't know for sure, but it seems to be anxiety related, well for me anyways.
Sorry I don't have any answers, just wanted you to know you are not alone in this.

The link I attached here is something I found online, people having a discussion about noise and how it affects them. To have a look I think you will need to copy and paste into your browser. Really just passing this on to you to let you know you are not alone in this.

I would mention it to your gp (I guess you will have a new one now) he/she would be better qualified to suggest what may help you.

"Anxiety, Panic, Noise Sensitivity": Anxiety & Panic Community - Support Group

Wish you well and hope the forum here is helpful, it has been helpful for me.
 
Mark_01

Mark_01

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2013
Messages
2,591
Location
California
Hi, Mikey mike, welcome to the forum. Know what you mean about loud music, I hate it when people blast their radios. Don't mind industrial noise, though. Use to live next to a bottling factory, made noise 24 hours a day, and 365 days a year. One year they shut down for two weeks to do a major cleaning. Not having the constant noise was scary. Sorry about your depression, this is a good place to talk about it.
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
Hello, Mike, and :welcome:

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this. It must be quite difficult living with your ex-partner if you're not able to fully communicate sometimes, but it's good you have some level of support from him (or I hope you do).

I know what you mean about noise - I can't stand it. Really drives me up the wall and makes me angry. I think it's because I have a stressful job and my mind's often at nearly full mental capacity; I just can't take any more stress.

It sounds like the unwanted noise maybe reminds you of your troublesome neighbours, and other experiences you've had, so your mind goes into a very worried place without you realising? The sounds of construction work is hard enough to deal with, without mental illness and bad experiences on top of it! Sounds like you're overwhelmed with it all, too!

I hope you can learn to deal with it better; and if you do, please let me know how.

Hope you find this forum useful.

:hug1:
 
M

Mikey mike

Member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
12
Hello Mark

Thanks for your message. It's strange how some noises bother me and some don't - the road where I live is busy during the day but I seem to have got used to the traffic - there's also a railway at the back of the house that some people might find annoying but there are only 2 trains an hour so that doesn't bother me either. The industrial noise is different - maybe it's the pitch - I really hate the high screeching noise of the metal cutters - there is also a lot of skip movement which makes the house shake at times - I could go on!!! I guess having being forced out of one house by problem neighbours I can see it all happening again and that's why it affects me so badly and makes me feel 'threatened' - all I want is peace and quiet. As for the music, well it doesn't have to be particularly loud to irritate me - I hate the background noise you get from people using earphones on the bus or train, especially if it's going thud thud thud. I'm a music lover myself and have hundreds of CDs but I've not played them for years - maybe that's a different issue! Anyway, thanks for saying 'hello'.
 
M

Mikey mike

Member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
12
Hello jruth

Thanks for your welcome message. You're right in that I'm probably associating the current problems with problems from the past, which makes me feel 'threatened'. I thank the other issue is that I feel trapped and unable to do anything about it. I must have written nearly 100 emails to the council over the past 4 years - fortunately I've always managed to keep my cool and make valid points rather than have a good old rant, but their response has been pathetic. Not only is there noise problems but I've also had to complain about them burning rubbish, parking their lorries on the pavement, stacking up piles of wrecked cars until they're in danger of toppling on to the main road, blocking the view from my driveway with advertising signs which makes it dangerous to pull out on to the road - and visually the whole site is a real eyesore, covered in mess - twice they've demolished buildings without planning consent to extend their site and the council's reaction was "no harm done"! They wouldn't say that if they had to look at it for 24 hours a day. And the site operates from 7.30am until 6.00pm, often Saturdays and Sundays. Gosh - that was a good rant! The house I'm living in belongs to my ex, so even if it did get too much for me I couldn't just sell up and move out - I suppose that's why I feel trapped. I couldn't afford to live by myself even if I wanted to - plus I'm not sure I could cope with living on my own - he's the only support I've got and he stops me from going over the edge. Having said that I realise that we need to talk!

Sorry to hear that your job is giving you stress - what sort of work do you do? Have you got a supportive line manager or do you work or yourself?
 
M

Mikey mike

Member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
12
Hello Unique1

Thanks for your welcome message and link - I'll certainly take a look.

The last time I mentioned the noise problem to my GP he offered to lend me his gun ...... and I don't think he was joking!
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hello Unique1

Thanks for your welcome message and link - I'll certainly take a look.

The last time I mentioned the noise problem to my GP he offered to lend me his gun ...... and I don't think he was joking!
:) hope it improves for you,
 
M

Mikey mike

Member
Joined
May 8, 2015
Messages
12
Hello firemonkee57 - thanks for the link. I have come across the term 'misphonia' before but thought it didn't relate to me because the info I'd found seemed to suggest that it was anxiety brought about by other people breathing, chewing etc - I've just taken a look at this website and noticed that one sufferer mentioned being affected by the sound coming from other people's headphones etc, and I can certainly relate to that. I suppose it depends on what noise triggers you off. I was interested to read that sufferers can experience a sudden rush of anger - that's exactly what I get, although in my case it only lasts a short time before I start to feel really depressed. I seem to turn the anger against myself and end up hating myself rather than whoever triggered off the reaction in the first place (I generally find that I get annoyed by the person making the noise rather than the noise itself). Maybe that's a good thing, as my first reaction is usually to tackle the offender - people don't take kindly to that! I suppose that's the 'fight' coming out in me, which quickly turns to 'flight'! (I'm a very passive person and don't like conflict of any kind). Cheers
 
G

Golden

Well-known member
Joined
May 3, 2015
Messages
208
Location
Norwich
I was reading about noise sensitivity last night in relation fight or flight. An animal who is frightened will suddenly have superior senses and some of us have this when manic too. It comes with mania, autism and ptsd but who knows why.
 
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