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Nobody around me seems to Understand

C

Cjade

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2020
Messages
3
Location
England
Hi everyone,
I’ve never tried a forum before but thought it might be worth a shot to talk to others who might understand. I’ve been struggling a little with anxiety that’s really become apparent through this year. I’m usually a really confident person and not anxious about things but every so often I get myself really worked up worrying over the littlest things and I can’t seem to calm myself down from them it just gets worse and worse. The anxiety seems to become worse on days that I have no plans and are therefore not busy doing something else.
For example one time I was supposed to be going over to my boyfriends house and having some drinks with his parents for his dads birthday but he had also invited his friend over. I know his friend and I have spent time with him before and he is a lovely lad but for some reason I had got myself so worked up about going round and feeling on the sideline that I just kept putting off going round to his house until it was the evening. I then started worrying that it was too late and his parents would think I was horrible person for not going round earlier which made me feel even more anxious. I ended up calling my boyfriend and trying to explain my feelings to him but he just doesn’t understand and thinks I’m making a ‘big deal’ out of nothing and constantly tells me to ‘stop worrying’. I know he loves me and is struggling to understand me, but the way he reacts to me trying to explain just gets me even more worked up as I’m worrying what him and everybody else must think about me making a big deal out of nothing. I really wish I could think more rationally about things but once I’ve started working myself up it’s like an endless cycle☹

I just wanted to know if anybody else feels this way as these feelings are pretty new to me, I’ve never been an anxious person as a child. I just thought it might be nice to try and talk to someone who might have had/having a similar experience😊
 
J

Jogger44

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Bognor regis
Hi I also find that the smallest confrontation sets my anxiety off and my heart starts to beat fast ☹ I find it hard as have felt like this for over a year now and I hate worrying about everything.
 
Talina

Talina

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Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,314
Location
Sweden
Hi Cjade and welcome to the forum :welcome:

I can be the same as you when it comes to my social anxiety. I totally dislike the feelings I get and it becomes a struggle to always need to battle the anxiety and face my fears. I sometimes listen too much to my anxiety which have given me a restricted life compared to if I didn’t have anxiety.

I can understand it becomes hard when people don’t understand how you feels and see it from your perspective. What you feel are something no one should ignore or make it sound less than what it is.

Have you tried seeking professional help, it can give you and insight on how to handle the anxiety and give you a better understanding why it sets off. Just so it don’t get worse.

At least it was nice meeting you and I hope you will enjoy the nice people here on the forum :grouphug:
 
C

Cjade

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2020
Messages
3
Location
England
Do you tend to worry a lot about social situations? I am generally an over-thinker about a lot of things, some rational, some not so rational, but I rarely get anxious about meeting new people or social situations. It’s just every so often I get myself into a big hole of worry about the smallest things and I don’t know how to get myself out of it once I’ve started☹
 
C

Cjade

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2020
Messages
3
Location
England
I’ve never really thought about professional help because it’s not something that I’m fighting with everyday. It seems to come and go every couple of months but it all seems to manifest into the smallest problems.
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,314
Location
Sweden
Do you tend to worry a lot about social situations? I am generally an over-thinker about a lot of things, some rational, some not so rational, but I rarely get anxious about meeting new people or social situations. It’s just every so often I get myself into a big hole of worry about the smallest things and I don’t know how to get myself out of it once I’ve started☹
For me anything that means social situations will start make me feel fear and my mind start to over-think.

Some days I can feel really bad nausea when I need to leave the house and I end up sitting on the bathroom floor trying to wait it out. But it’s just a response to my anxiety. A few years back I couldn’t even write on forums because of my social anxiety and I could get breakdowns, so it can be a bit controlling for my part.

I don’t know if the things I do to handle my social anxiety will help you in a way.

But I use music and taking calming deep breaths outdoors, trying to just focus on the music lyrics and breathing. It will help distract myself a bit and go through with things. I can also do a mental pep-talk as a way to try change my thoughts. But I mostly find it helpful when I can focus on something else. Sometimes it still won’t help me to calm down, depends on how bad it gets.

I know my social anxiety built up over the years. So it could be good talking with a professional while it’s manageable, just so it won’t be building up. Specially when it kick in a few times per year for you. You don’t need to have anxiety every day to talk with someone :grouphug:
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,938
Location
Canada
Do you tend to worry a lot about social situations?
Hi, I guess this applies to me. I've had no social life for quite some time. Mostly I'm OK with this but it wears thin sometimes, maybe not good for my mental health. I just prefer to keep to myself these days, no one I really wanna be around anyway.
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. It is so difficult when people in our lives do not understand our struggles. I understand this is not something that effects you daily but I think therapy could be very helpful for you.
 
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