• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

No zest for life.

L

LostInside

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
5 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. When she was one, I gave birth to another. My life hasn't been the same. I love my children with all my heart and I am the most loving affectionate mother despite my depression. Before children I didnt know what it felt like to be depressed. I was so full of life. Bubbly, outgoing & confident. Now I'm all front.

The last year has been particularly hard. Especially with being in and out of lock down. My mood drops and then gets better. I find myself wanting to die & then wanting to live and enjoy every moment. I feel unstable sometimes. I'm losing the will to do simple things like house work. I can do the basics but anything more than that feels like effort and for someone who usually finds house therapeutic, it is rather sad. I feel like I am watching life go by. 😔
 
Prettyroses99

Prettyroses99

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
206
Location
California, USA
I couldn't imagine taking care of 2 babies. The crying and constantly doing everything for them. I enjoy my quiet home.

Quarantine is extremely challenging for everyone so you're not alone.
 
L

LostInside

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
Thank you for replying PrettyRoses. It is hard but they are 4 & 5 now, so they are more independent. I hate to say this but I do feel like they fuel my depression more. They are supposed to be at school but because our goverment has us in lock down, I am home schooling and it's making me miserable.
 
penguinlady

penguinlady

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Hope's Peak
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I completely get what you mean, I feel so unstable at the minute and it's so tough. I'm sick of people telling me to get over it or just to feel better, like it'll magically happen.

All I can say is it sounds like you are working incredibly hard and are a wonderful parent to your children. I can't imagine how hard it must be with lockdown and everything else. Your feelings are valid and I think you're really brave for expressing your feelings. You are clearly a strong and passionate person who is just struggling at the minute.

I don't know when it'll get better, but it's clear that you are trying so hard. I hope that you'll have more good days than bad.
 
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LostInside

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
Thank you Penguinlady.

I wish you wasnt able to relate. I can't believe people could be so ignorant to say that to you. It is not something you can just get over.

Thank you so much for the lovely kind words. Some days I don't feel as strong as others. Today is one of those. I lack in engery and I could quite happily sleep but never wake up. My husband doesn't understand. I dont blame him. I do think him and our girls would be better off without me.

Do you have a support network?
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
5 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. When she was one, I gave birth to another. My life hasn't been the same. I love my children with all my heart and I am the most loving affectionate mother despite my depression. Before children I didnt know what it felt like to be depressed. I was so full of life. Bubbly, outgoing & confident. Now I'm all front.

The last year has been particularly hard. Especially with being in and out of lock down. My mood drops and then gets better. I find myself wanting to die & then wanting to live and enjoy every moment. I feel unstable sometimes. I'm losing the will to do simple things like house work. I can do the basics but anything more than that feels like effort and for someone who usually finds house therapeutic, it is rather sad. I feel like I am watching life go by. 😔
you need to remember that your depression will pass, i know from experience how tough depression can be, but you should always know you will get better, it is just a temporary mindset....i know when i was depressed i would have wanted someone to have told me that, that you willl get better

also have you ever tried the herbal remedy for depression its called St Johns Wort....i thought it was good
 
L

LostInside

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
you need to remember that your depression will pass, i know from experience how tough depression can be, but you should always know you will get better, it is just a temporary mindset....i know when i was depressed i would have wanted someone to have told me that, that you willl get better

also have you ever tried the herbal remedy for depression its called St Johns Wort....i thought it was good
Thank you Karl. Sometimes It doesn't feel like it will pass but you are right. Today is just a bad day and tomorrow will hopefully be a better one. I dread going to bed knowing the next day starts all over again, most days.

I am on setraline 50mg. So don't think I can use that alongside. Will do some research. Thank you.
 
Barny67

Barny67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2020
Messages
308
Location
Middlesbrough
True. Your on a low dose of Sertraline, id see your GP if you can.
 
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LostInside

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
7
Location
England
True. Your on a low dose of Sertraline, id see your GP if you can.
I did try and go on 100mg but I couldn't deal with the side effects while working. So I stopped it. My doctor said it wasn't more dosage that I needed, it was therapy. She is right. I tried CBT last year but it never really helped. I know I need to do intense therapy but before I do that, I need to help myself by eating healthily & exercising more, so that I've got a more healthier attitude to life.
 
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