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No value in Life

M

Mehpeyker

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Dhaka
I am 25 (bisexual male) and have been mentally ill up till 2020( depression, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, suicidal tendencies, addiction problem). Since 2020, after taking therapy, I started to get a bit better with various ups and downs. However, by the end of 2021, I am coming to the realization that for this past 25 years due to mental illness
  • I couldn't make friends,
  • have romantic/sexual relationships,
  • couldn't gain life skills cycling/swimming,
  • don't have much life skill,
  • couldn't party and enjoy life like my other peers.
  • Couldn't make much happy memories
It'll take some time for my mental illness to go away or to be reduced to a satisfactory state (if that happens anyway!). But I can never get back my early youth (18-25 years). This thought that I couldn't do anything in my early youth makes me think 'What is the point of living? I have lost my early youth anyway. So, getting better for the future is just meaningless.' I can't shake off this thought. Given my mentally unstable past and its ramifications( as pointed out in the above list), I will either be bullied as a loser or will be treated as a charity case with pitiful stares or be ignored completely. People will say, 'Thank god! I'm not like that loser.' or 'Well, I'm not as wretched as him.' I will be considered as the lowest of the low in social hierarchy. I think of myself as terribly unattractive and adding my previous lack of sexual/romantic experience I will always be deemed unfit to date anyone. This will only ruin my reputation in society further and I will be ostracized. In such a case, treating my depression, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, suicidal tendencies is just useless. There is no value to my life anymore. I don't know what to do?
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
22,404
Location
Nowhere
hi Mehpeyker :welcome:

no, 25 is still very young, its still part of your early youth to be enjoyed
and a lot of the problem is just your own thoughts

is there any kind of support services / mental health services available
where you live ?

I hope you find the forum helpful


:grouphug:
 
M

Mehpeyker

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Dhaka
hi Mehpeyker :welcome:

no, 25 is still very young, its still part of your early youth to be enjoyed
and a lot of the problem is just your own thoughts

is there any kind of support services / mental health services available
where you live ?

I hope you find the forum helpful


:grouphug:
I did go to therapy but after a while i realized I had gathered enough information on what I need to do from my therapist and it's now my job to better myself. Also, Bangladesh doens't have good therapists. They are not well acquainted to deal with neurodivergent queer patients.
 
Michelle Kelly

Michelle Kelly

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2021
Messages
166
Location
UK
To someone who's 44 - that's me :) - 25 is absolutely still young and you've got a lot of living left to do at that age. Some people don't find their true purpose in life or just fulfilment until they're well into their 30's, 40's or 50's.
 
J

Justfrozen

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2021
Messages
496
Location
UK
To someone who's 44 - that's me :) - 25 is absolutely still young and you've got a lot of living left to do at that age. Some people don't find their true purpose in life or just fulfilment until they're well into their 30's, 40's or 50's.
You wrote exactly what I would of put.
 
M

Mehpeyker

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Dhaka
@Michelle Kelly In this ageist society I am constantly reminded that my loss of early youth has made me an anomaly in society because I didn't get to have a fun youth like the rest. And so, my later life holds no meaning. As absurd as this sounds, I have internalized this 'guilt' or 'shame' that I am abnormal and people will see me as an undesirable person. How do I get out of this conundrum?
 
J

justsurvivingouthere

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2022
Messages
10
Location
Michigan
I feel like 25 is still your early youth. Start living and doing what you want now. You're still young.
 
S

saynow

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2016
Messages
377
i think you need spirituality in ur life
good luck
 
Marmalade

Marmalade

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
99
Location
Herne Bay, Kent, UK
@Mehpeyker I identify a lot with this. At 25, I was in a similar place. For years and years, I struggled along in the quagmire of 'mental health', without having any real clue as why I was feeling like I was feeling. Why couldn't I make friends? Why couldn't I succeed at relationships? Why did I hate being around too many people, and not enjoy the things other people my age were enjoying?

I got some answers later in life... and I'm just wondering... have you even considered that autism might be at the root of so much of it, as I now know it is for me?

Just a thought, that's all. Take care.
 
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