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phoenixx

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Nov 19, 2009
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81
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in a waking dream
who are they looking at? and what do they want? they follow me..

i feel guilty for the harm i almost had to carrie out to others but the voices told me to, i didnt mean to scare my friends away but why did they want to harm me. i can still hear voices and all the medication they give me cant alter the truth that the shadow poeple(demons) are out there and following me around my house and outside they may take my ability to see this away but it is all true they are real and no one belives me maybe it is to dangerous to tell the pdocs this they try to silence me..

im very freindly and never really tell them the whole truth as im fearfull i am hearing this voice telling me not to trust them and to cut myself im very tired of it all but no one takes me seriously i dont think guess because i laugh it off! as i find this easier to do.. i have paniks when outside feel very out of controll have recently been diagnosed with mild aspergers syndrome as well as paranoid schzophreina so am very confused with everything alot has happened! im fed up and tired....
 
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jamesdean

Guest
phoenixx I hope that you can find some solace here at mhf I hope that it can be a supportive enviroment that you can feel safe and be able to talk openly . a good idea is to start a "journals" it is then your safe place to say who the hell you like Regards JD
 
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phoenixx

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Nov 19, 2009
Messages
81
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in a waking dream
thankyou.. am learning, i hate being alone have just harmed myself nothing serious usually my brother stayes with me he moved in after i came out of hospital last year i dont think he realises how much i need him hear... i feel scared and alone.
 
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diddypinks

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Jun 7, 2009
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hi pheonix things can get A LOT BETTER i didnt used to think so. youve just got to get your head round how to manage your symptoms. i used to think that every second person was seriously out to get me to beat me up i no longer have that belief. its great to laugh it off your not alone :hug:
 
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Frings

Guest
hi pheonix things can get A LOT BETTER i didnt used to think so. youve just got to get your head round how to manage your symptoms. i used to think that every second person was seriously out to get me to beat me up i no longer have that belief. its great to laugh it off your not alone :hug:
hi diddypinks i suffer from paranoia. you say that you USED to have those beliefs, may i ask what changed your mind? was it medication. im currently on a low dose of olanzapine and wondering whether i should ask for it to be increased
 
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diddypinks

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yes medication is why i have got better but there are drawbacks to every med i still have paranoia and anxiety but i take 200mg of serouel at night and it really helps it leaves me sedated but it has changed my life i am also on 60mg the highest dose of citralopram because this illness can be very depressing i guess for me accepting the illness has made me realise that hat i'm thinking probably isnt true if i'm getting paranoid about something i now its the illness i have insight into my schizophrenia. and ive lived with it for a long time it gets easier to deal with (for me) as i have been getting older. my cpn has helped me i used to not try to go to places that frightened me but by doing it in baby steps like say you scared of going to the petrol station walk half way there one day then the next day alk a bit further. because if it isnt scary it isnt brave. do you have family members and friends my sister i can talk to and this helps enormousley if youve got someone to talk to about things. i think its important to remeber that you have an illness its not yours or anyone elses fault and do the best you can i hope you feel more secure soon diddy
 
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RollingJovi

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Dec 25, 2009
Messages
55
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Ilford IG1
I have the same symptoms and I also have problems with demons. I have not had a diagnosis of anything except the brief mention of psychosis which is very vague in my view. I'm unsure of how long they take but advised it may take a long while before they give a proper diagnosis. I believe that demons are all around us and that people are heavily influenced by them. They tell me to harm myself and others at time but since taking risperidone they just shout at me and put me down all the time. I don't like being like this as I'm sure we all have our hates but it's something I now have to deal with. Are any of you holding down jobs? I'm currently signed off work but don't feel happy returning as work I have many problems with and has maybe fueled this so called problem. :-(
 
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phoenixx

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Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
81
Location
in a waking dream
had my mh nurse over today im sure they dont belive a word you tell them.. i dont talk much about myself to them but they probe you they are upping my meds again but i cant make them understand it is all real..
 
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rasselas

Guest
...

hello phoenix

either demons are real. or they are not real.

if they are not real, they are projections of yourself - maybe projections of your inner turmoil and darker thoughts and impulses which you would rather not own. the psychic torment is so great it is too traumatic to integrate these inner aspects of your self, and this results in imaginative ways of externalising them. this would naturally lead an individual to seek help from professionals that have a stake in the reintegration of self either through 'corrective drugging' or through inner exploration ('psychotherapy')

however, if they are real then - autonomous beings that reside in some non-testable aspect of the corporeal world - jinni/demons - then this would naturally lead an individual to seek help from spiritualists that have a stake in summoning spiritual forces which can drive the jinni away from the person - either through out and out exorcism or some other spiritual ritual.

in a secular society the bias will be to conclude that your experiences are of a subjective nature, brought about by a disjointed self created by a physical disease of the brain/mind. they will drug you with higher and more potent doses until you are no longer emotionally freaking out and or the 'delusions' end.

a spiritualist, such as a catholic priest with papal authority to carry out exorcism - will go through numerous methods of inciting the power of god/jesus to drive away the demonic presence.

you'd think that the psychiatrists would utterly dismiss the possibility of demonic possession. however, if you think that, then you are wrong. it may well be that the 'men and women on the ground' so to speak, the community mental health workers, the social workers and ots and the like, may themselves personally dismiss posession or demonic harassment... but psychiatry itself doesnt, as an institution.

the first point to keep in mind is that the DSM itself contains numerous disclaimers that allow for all forms of hallucination if it is of a religious nature.

and secondly, psychiatry sees itself as second - in -line to the spiritualists when it comes to possession. in other words, if the exorcist fails, they make way for the psychiatrist.

there is an intriguing psychiatric paper that re-emerged a few years back. it's called, Exorcism-resistant Ghost Possession Treated with Clopenthixol.

i highly recommend it. the title sounds implausible i know - but its a genuine article widely available and commented upon. quite an eye opener in fact.
 
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Frings

Guest
yes medication is why i have got better but there are drawbacks to every med i still have paranoia and anxiety but i take 200mg of serouel at night and it really helps it leaves me sedated but it has changed my life i am also on 60mg the highest dose of citralopram because this illness can be very depressing i guess for me accepting the illness has made me realise that hat i'm thinking probably isnt true if i'm getting paranoid about something i now its the illness i have insight into my schizophrenia. and ive lived with it for a long time it gets easier to deal with (for me) as i have been getting older. my cpn has helped me i used to not try to go to places that frightened me but by doing it in baby steps like say you scared of going to the petrol station walk half way there one day then the next day alk a bit further. because if it isnt scary it isnt brave. do you have family members and friends my sister i can talk to and this helps enormousley if youve got someone to talk to about things. i think its important to remeber that you have an illness its not yours or anyone elses fault and do the best you can i hope you feel more secure soon diddy
thanks for the reply. im also on an antidepressant, i changed it recently and have felt better for it. im a big avoider of things/people/places i dont like.. geez i hate being paranoid, ive had that particular delusion for about 20 years and its a pain in the a*** i dont really have any one i can talk to, i used to have an OT (a bit like a CPN) and she was great.. but it ended about 2 years ago. ive tried asking my doc if i can see someone else.. but i keep getting a no so ive stopped asking. i think ill talk to my doc about upping the olanzapine the next time i see him, i think id benefit from it, jsut hope i wont put more weight on....:scared:
 
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diddypinks

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hi there not having anyone to talk to must be hard. i am still a great avoider of things ;)
go back to your doctor and tell them that you havent got any support they will get in contact with a cpn for you they have to. its not ok you dont have on. when you get your cpn back ask if you can have a medication review you'll seee the phyciatrist and you can say you are worried about putting on weight and any other side affects and ask them all about other meds you could be on. goodluck diddy
 
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phoenixx

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
81
Location
in a waking dream
thanks for that, thought am not sure how it helps have had this belife and visions for a very long time my cpn thinks its due to trauma.. but dont want to talk about it.
 
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Frings

Guest
hi there not having anyone to talk to must be hard. i am still a great avoider of things ;)
go back to your doctor and tell them that you havent got any support they will get in contact with a cpn for you they have to. its not ok you dont have on. when you get your cpn back ask if you can have a medication review you'll seee the phyciatrist and you can say you are worried about putting on weight and any other side affects and ask them all about other meds you could be on. goodluck diddy
thanks for the advice diddy

i see my doc next month so ill try asking again, i really could do with some support like a cpn

take care, frings
 
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