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No motivation to get up

Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Overdosed again to get high.. hate myself for it!
Just can't handle this shit anymore
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
After 7 hours of sleep I did eat some food..
Now going to bed again.. try to see if I can sleep even longer. Like another 10 hours..

So happy this day is over.. so not looking forward to tomorrow..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Sorry for the lot of negatively last days are really hard.. struggling allot with myself and feel terrible alone..
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
47
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
Im sorry you're feeling like this. I wish I could help.

Also (this might be triggering regarding self harm scars. Please forgive me and dont read if you dont feel you can)

I was wondering if this was just me, but do you ever get urges of wanting to show your scars to people? Like just so they know that you're struggling. Whether to make them feel bad, or to make them ask if you're ok. Or maybe just so that someone knows that you arent feeling good.

Idk, lately, even though I hate the scars I just want to show everyone I know. I want them to ask, even though it gives me such bad anxiety if they ask if im ok. Like. I just want them to push me for information. It just feels like they're stepping carefully around me. Feels like im a ticking time bomb around other people.

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this, or something similar. Sorry.

I hope you're okay Justafriend. Please dont give up
 
simonr1978

simonr1978

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
269
Thank you @simonr1978 🌹
I did take it a bit to far today.. but you already know that because I told you ❤

I'm glad you're in my life 🌹
And I feel very lucky to have you in mine too. 🌹

(In case anyone was wondering, my new avatar came from Justafriend95 and I'm really very pleased about it.)
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Im sorry you're feeling like this. I wish I could help.

Also (this might be triggering regarding self harm scars. Please forgive me and dont read if you dont feel you can)

I was wondering if this was just me, but do you ever get urges of wanting to show your scars to people? Like just so they know that you're struggling. Whether to make them feel bad, or to make them ask if you're ok. Or maybe just so that someone knows that you arent feeling good.

Idk, lately, even though I hate the scars I just want to show everyone I know. I want them to ask, even though it gives me such bad anxiety if they ask if im ok. Like. I just want them to push me for information. It just feels like they're stepping carefully around me. Feels like im a ticking time bomb around other people.

Just wondered if anyone else felt like this, or something similar. Sorry.

I hope you're okay Justafriend. Please dont give up
Yeah I show some of them.. also to get noticed a bit.. but not only for that.. I want them there so I can see them to. To show myself that is true what people say and what my head tells me..

So kinda double.. want people to know but also not.. because I don't want to talk about it... Hope you understand that.

Look online I want to talk about it in real life not because people are really hard.. and I can't handle that..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
And I feel very lucky to have you in mine too. 🌹

(In case anyone was wondering, my new avatar came from Justafriend95 and I'm really very pleased about it.)
Haha Thank you for the credits ❤ I see you really like it and that's making my heart melt 🌹 did she you under the Willow tree this night 😊 it was nice to meet again 🌹
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Is nooit even 6 o clock in the evening but I can't handle my thoughts anymore. Last night I slept 17 hours. I'm going to do that again.. because I feel like I can do really stupid shit atm..

Just want my mind to stop..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Stressed out to get to therapy tomorrow.. feel like I can't do it anymore.. I feel so weak 😭 I wish I wasn't so alone in this.

I just want to hurt myself.. but IDK something in me is holding me back.. I don't want to hurt my family and friends anymore.. but I just want things to fucking stop.. 😭😭

Now I'm on my period and is even more horrible depression and hormones.. like kill me now.. fucking hate my life!!!

Please.. I want my head to be silence..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
IMG_20191202_081527_969.jpg
A shot I took this morning..
Felt shit like hell but this made me smile for a second so I wanted to share it with you guys. I hope I can at least let 1 of you smile 🌹

Even when life sucks atm..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Fucked up again but idfc..
I deserve the pain.. the torture and everything.
I deserve this!
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,096
Location
USA
View attachment 18174
A shot I took this morning..
Felt shit like hell but this made me smile for a second so I wanted to share it with you guys. I hope I can at least let 1 of you smile 🌹

Even when life sucks atm..
Wow how beautiful! That is some real talent you have! And omg do I know what you mean about hormones 🙈. Don’t beat yourself up. We all mess up again and again but your will to improve is all you need and you seem to have that. Hugs.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Thank you! Don't feel really bad about it tho. So I'm good! Thank you for the compliment 🌹 it means a lot to me 🙈

Hugs
Wow how beautiful! That is some real talent you have! And omg do I know what you mean about hormones 🙈. Don’t beat yourself up. We all mess up again and again but your will to improve is all you need and you seem to have that. Hugs.
 
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