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No motivation to get up

Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
I overdosed again with some not deadly meds to get high.. can't hold myself to not do it..

Didn't go to therapy today I just couldnt 🥺 I feel like everything sucks today
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
47
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
I overdosed again with some not deadly meds to get high.. can't hold myself to not do it..

Didn't go to therapy today I just couldnt 🥺 I feel like everything sucks today
But dont forget you did get a new plant baby recently. Weirdly plants are so calming, you can tell them anything and they wont tell anyone else.

Today may not of been a great day but that doesnt mean that the week will not be a good week. Just keep taking things one step at a time. You've got this
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
#9daysclean..
Self harm started to fade really quick.. I hate the feeling that they are soon be gone.. what is totally stupid because why the hell would you want them to keep..

But the memories are special.. and I feel like I want the reminder of me being stronger.. like a tattoo for ever..

Yeah I'm really not normal.. but I feel like I'm not from this world in the first place.. I'm not like others..
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
And this week I'm not going to therapy.. just can't handle it atm.. it's just too much.. my head hurts like hell and I'm just not in a good place..
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
4,374
Location
UK
Nine days clean is fantastic :clap::clap::clap::clap:

If you want a tattoo, think about getting something beautiful and empowering in ink.

Your SH scars caused you humiliation and intense emotional pain a few days ago - celebrate their disappearance.

Friend, don't fall into the trap of seeing your emotional struggles and past as your identity. Let go of the past - you are not your memories or your past experiences - they're just files in your head. xxx
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

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Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
And we start at 0 days again 🎉
So yeah I fucked up. Don't feel bad..

Only my hair is starting to fall out 😅 so that's new..

IMG_20191128_101124.jpg
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Nine days clean is fantastic :clap::clap::clap::clap:

If you want a tattoo, think about getting something beautiful and empowering in ink.

Your SH scars caused you humiliation and intense emotional pain a few days ago - celebrate their disappearance.

Friend, don't fall into the trap of seeing your emotional struggles and past as your identity. Let go of the past - you are not your memories or your past experiences - they're just files in your head. xxx
I'm sorry for failing you 🥀
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
47
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
And we start at 0 days again 🎉
So yeah I fucked up. Don't feel bad..

Only my hair is starting to fall out 😅 so that's new..

View attachment 18116
it's okay, you should still be proud you went 9 days without, that is an amazing feat and just proves that it's possible. You'll stumble a couple times and that's okay. We still believe in you <3

Also, hair falling out is not great ^^; might be related to stress and anxiety/ emotional stuff, if any more falls out you may wanna head over to the doctor and jus be like "soo hair am-i-right?"
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
My negative thoughts came up again.. way worse than before... Really want to hurt..
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
47
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
My negative thoughts came up again.. way worse than before... Really want to hurt..
Let them out, dont keep them in if you can. Whether its through screaming, scribbling over paper and ripping it up. Going for a run, talking to someone or one of your plants. Try and find a non destructive way to let it out. Sh is not the only way.

I managed to go a whole day without sh by drawing all over myself in red marker. Also had a bit of a cry and wrote some stuff down. Today wasn't as good personally, but dont give up. There are other ways.
 
S

sanrio01

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
9
Location
USA
looks like a sad place. u might need a new environment that might help
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
IMG_20191129_194705.jpgIMG_20191129_194617.jpg

Just chopped my hair off. I hated the long girly hair. I'm not at all like that! So now I have a bad ass haircut ❤🤟

Feeling stronger than ever
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
879
Location
Netherlands
Again negative voices in my head.. it sucks
😔 Why don't they leave me the hell alone...
 
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