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No motivation for anything.

G

ghostiegreen

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
8
I haven't got a decent job, got no money, no partner and no motivation.

I finished my audio degree to become an audio professional two years ago and upon finishing I was more competent than anyone in my class.

Since then...

-I've haven't gotten a job in audio
-Tried studying a secondary profession to get me by financially
-Got bullied out of studying it by a lecturer
-Despite being the smartest/most passionate in the class
-Lost the love of my life
-Got a job at FF restaurant
-Was the fastest to learn everything out of everyone that was trained there.
-Some rude woman got the promotion that I literally proved to be better at.
-They cut my shifts
-Got no more money
-Kicked out of my rent home
-Living with ASPD relative
-He's actually not that bad in terms of violence but hypocritical to the most insane degree.

Now I can't get a new job because I can't afford a phone courtesy of the FF restaurant giving me 1 shift a week. So employers just get disconnected phone message.

Two years of this while dealing with delusional disorder and depression (both diagnosed).

It's been two years and I still haven't even found free work in audio which I can do in my after work hours hence why I tried to get a secondary profession to get me by while trying to build my audio portfolio up.

I told myself "if you try and fail, get a new career but try your hardest first"

I haven't even had the chance to try yet.

So I'm in a position where I'm considering:
-Continue living like a loser
-Army (which I hate)
-Suicide

The options I don't want to consider:
-Turning into an asshole that connives to get what they want (these types of people are particularly the ones that end up screwing me over).

I often ponder though what is the point of actually staying a good person knowing that my chances of reaching my dream will be significantly higher if I become a bad person.

Any suggestions for me??
 
wollie

wollie

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
3,116
Location
warwick
Biy this is tough I cant imagine some one as inteligent as you cant get a job, have you tried contract work, working in a FF place seems beneth you, I dont know what else to say, just keep talking to us and Im sure some thing will come your way.
 
G

ghostiegreen

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
8
I've tried multiple websites to find contract, full-time, part time but not casual work to get me by.

Considering FIFO or going to the army.

For audio jobs I've used FB groups, LinkedIn and Patreon to find film and games projects that need audio work.

I've also called up audio companies around my country for volunteer and payed work, expressing a desire to move if needed.
 
JD4010

JD4010

Active member
Joined
Jan 16, 2020
Messages
35
Location
Enemy Occupied Territory
It sounds like you have the motivation, but opportunity is lacking. I'm sorry things are sucking so badly. I have no good advice but I wish I did.
 
C

confused31

Member
Joined
Jan 31, 2020
Messages
9
Location
ireland
Hi ghostiegreen. My experience and situation is very similar to yours even down to having been diagnosed with delusional disorder and having a lecturer bully me out of a course I was doing to get a job. I'm an unemployed graduate with gaps in my resume from hospital stays and breakdown time making it difficult to get back on my fert. I just joined this forum today to reach out to others who have delusional disorder. I don't get that it usually sets in later in life but I'm just 31 and have been diagnosed years. It's so rare there is little support or information about it . I hope you will find a career you like soon. Don't give up.
 
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